This episode is about women and their relationships with each other! It’s got a lot of laughter while still serving up lots of helpful wisdom nuggets. We reflect on what it means for someone to “stand in their own truth”, how insecurity is often the root of cattiness, how feeling secure in oneself leads to celebrating, supporting and lifting other women up. We talk about “sisterhood”, the #MeToo movement, and so much more!
Key Points From This Episode:
- Just how awesome We Edit Podcasts is! Use discount code lessalonepodcast for 20% off your 1st month
- Reflecting on being in awe of people who “stand in their own truth”
- The feeling you get when you’re in the presence of someone with an energetic radiance
- Contemplating the heaviness around the previous episode’s topic of toxic relationships
- Being on the outside: when you don’t have friendships with women
- Insecurity tripping up women who are able to “stand in their power”
- Getting judgmental about aspects in other women that we ourselves have
- A few key points from the book, You’re the Only One I Can Tell
- How much money it take for you to ditch your best friend?
- Why we think the #MeToo movement has positively affected female relationships
- The connection between coming out about being sexually assaulted and shedding shame
- The experience of being in, or not being in, a clique
- How to lift up other women
- An awesome snippet from Abby Wambach’s book, Wolfpack
- And much more!
Be sure to Rate, Review and Subscribe to the podcast in your favorite podcast player!
LESS ALONE PODCAST – SEASON 1, EPISODE 05 – TRANSCRIPT
[0:00:01.5] AMY MOORE: We are three friends exploring connection. From the coffee shop to the podcast studio. I’m Amy.
[0:00:06.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I’m Anna.
[0:00:06.7] ERIN LINEHAN: I’m Erin.
[0:00:14.8] AMY MOORE: Welcome back. Here we are. Episode number five here, folks. Today, we are going to be talking about what’s up with women.
[0:00:24.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, yeah.
[0:00:25.8] AMY MOORE: Topic, women friendships. What do you think ladies?
[0:00:30.3] ERIN LINEHAN: I think this is a good one.
[0:00:31.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: This is going to be a good one. You know what I also I think is also really good?
[0:00:36.2] AMY MOORE: What?
[0:00:35.9] ERIN LINEHAN: What Anna?
[0:00:36.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Weeditpodcasts.com.
[0:00:38.3] ERIN LINEHAN: We Edit Podcast is a badass. Awesome.
[0:00:40.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: They’re so awesome.
[0:00:42.1] AMY MOORE: We Edit Podcasts.
[0:00:44.6] ERIN LINEHAN: They have been helping us with all of our editing.
[0:00:47.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: They’ve been so crazy good.
[0:00:49.2] ERIN LINEHAN: They’re fantastic. We just wanted to give a shout out to them.
[0:00:52.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. You can get 20% off your first month by using the code “LessAlonePodcast“. Definitely get in on that.
[0:00:58.9] ERIN LINEHAN: Definitely huge help. Want to sound professional? We Edit Podcasts. Weepee.
[0:01:05.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Weepee. Yes, they are amazing. Yeah, so our last episode’s challenge, how did that go? That was the I statements.
[0:01:16.3] AMY MOORE: Oh, yeah. We had the I statement challenge. Then what if the person doesn’t accept your I statement? That was the discussion, right? If we don’t do about that?
[0:01:25.6] ERIN LINEHAN: If we don’t do the I statement challenge, we don’t know what happens when they don’t accept it.
[0:01:30.5] AMY MOORE: Erin, do you have a confession for us?
[0:01:32.4] ERIN LINEHAN: The confession is I did not do the homework, or the do, Amy.
[0:01:36.6] AMY MOORE: Neither did I.
[0:01:37.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I mean, these are –
[0:01:42.0] AMY MOORE: At least we’re honest.
[0:01:43.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. Good. Better luck next time.
[0:01:46.9] ERIN LINEHAN: If you did. If you did the I feel challenge, let us know about it, because at least someone did it. We would like to know.
[0:01:53.5] AMY MOORE: Yes. We’d love to hear from you.
[0:01:55.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Well, and it totally works. I feel I just didn’t have the situation where I was like, “Oh, yeah. I got to do this.” I needed to put it like a sticky reminder or something on, to be like, “I feel.”
[0:02:06.8] ERIN LINEHAN: Does it help that I helped my clients with this? It counts, right?
[0:02:09.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yes, that totally counts.
[0:02:10.4] AMY MOORE: Yeah, it was in your consciousness.
[0:02:13.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Right. Totally, totally.
[0:02:14.5] ERIN LINEHAN: Okay. Good.
[0:02:15.8] AMY MOORE: Cool. Well, let’s see. Let’s go on to any updates or news about the podcast. Anybody?
[0:02:21.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. I have been finding myself thinking about a few things from the last episode, How to be a Terrible Friend. One of the things was that Erin said that she’s in awe of when people are able to stand in their truth. I’m curious, what does that look like? I’m like, I kept coming back to that and then I kept thinking like, “What does it actually look like?” I need to ask you about that.
[0:02:45.3] ERIN LINEHAN: What it actually looks like is if someone – it feels like there’s an energetic power in their center and someone stands firm on the ground and they’re rooted and they just – they’re able to just show up and there’s not this energy of insecurity. It’s just this real raw feeling of whatever it is and then they just show up with who they are. Because they’re showing up with who they are, or whatever the information is and there’s no shame around what they’re saying, then it’s super, super powerful in that. There’s a certain level of power.
I think it’s people always talk about power over and it’s not a power over, it’s a power within. It’s almost like this iceberg comes up energetically from someone’s center and they stand in that. I feel I can feel that and it’s something that I want to be around and I admire in people and want to emulate and be more like that.
[0:03:36.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It sounds just like a really solid foundation that you can pick up on, is that right?
[0:03:41.2] ERIN LINEHAN: Yes.
[0:03:42.4] AMY MOORE: Like a vulnerability and honesty type?
[0:03:44.7] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah, but just solid in your center.
[0:03:46.7] AMY MOORE: Yeah. Yeah.
[0:03:48.0] ERIN LINEHAN: A real power.
[0:03:48.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I’m trying to get you to dumb it down for me. Just get it real, like dumb-dumb for me.
[0:04:01.5] ERIN LINEHAN: I like to be around them.
[0:04:03.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Okay. That’s good.
[0:04:05.8] ERIN LINEHAN: Dumb it down. How?
[0:04:07.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Dumb it down for me.
[0:04:08.8] ERIN LINEHAN: Dumb it down. Ask a specific question.
[0:04:12.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: When someone is standing in their truth in your presence, it sounds like it’s a feeling that you get from them, is that right?
[0:04:20.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Yes. I energetically get that, because I am super sensitive on a lot of levels. Energetically, I can feel that person is sharing their power and I feel energized. I feel solid in my center of my body; from my belly button through the center of my body. I feel like strong. As if there’s –
[0:04:44.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Okay, so you’re super, super in-tune with these things.
[0:04:47.0] ERIN LINEHAN: Yes. As if there’s an energetic light within someone’s center and it’s radiating out and I’m in that radiance. That’s what it feels like.
[0:04:56.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It sounds great.
[0:04:57.1] AMY MOORE: That’s interesting. It makes me think about misery loves company. If you have a miserable person, then other miserable people tend to join in. I mean, it sounds it’s – it’s just how similar energies probably feed off of each other, or at least they’re magnetized to other –
[0:05:19.2] ERIN LINEHAN: Well, people who have similar vibrations, and so then you’re attracted to that. I think that – I like that. I want to be able to – that is something that I aspire to do is stand in my own power. When someone’s doing that, it is my – I feel very, very inspired to be like, “Ah, they have a lot of courage and super brave to do that,” because that’s just how they walk through the world. I think so many people carry around so much shame. I had that work through that emotion for a long time. There’s no shame in that. It’s just people are in their truth.
[0:05:57.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It sounds like a not a blooming onion. It sounds like a tree, just so solid and just the roots and walking with the roots.
[0:06:08.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Mm-hmm. Great. Yes.
[0:06:08.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Is that okay?
[0:06:09.9] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah, yeah.
[0:06:10.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Okay. All right, okay one more push.
[0:06:11.8] AMY MOORE: She dumbed it down successfully.
[0:06:15.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Thanks, Erin. I really appreciate –
[0:06:17.6] AMY MOORE: It’s just really being a tree, Anna. That’s all.
[0:06:21.1] ERIN LINEHAN: That’s a really great job, Anna.
[0:06:23.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Being a tree. All right.
[0:06:25.3] AMY MOORE: Fantastic job of dumbing it down.
[0:06:28.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Walk with your roots. Noted. Will do. Then might to do this.
[0:07:19.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That last episode, I felt it was really heavy. Anyone else?
[0:07:25.1] AMY MOORE: Well, I don’t know how you talk about toxic relationships and keep it light.
[0:07:30.5] ERIN LINEHAN: Well, that is true.
[0:07:31.2] AMY MOORE: I mean, I don’t know. The whole topic was like ba—aghh. It’s hard.
[0:07:37.9] ERIN LINEHAN: It was hard. I was telling these two that I talk about toxic relationships and those dynamics with people probably every day and especially with people, and so their real thing. I don’t know that necessarily, it’s not really talked about often. It just feels bad. I think that it was super important to talk about that, because yes, it’s heavy, but not when you talk about blooming onions.
[0:08:03.0] AMY MOORE: Right. Right, right, right. Yeah. Did it bother – did the heaviness bother you?
[0:08:08.8] ERIN LINEHAN: That’s a good question.
[0:08:09.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, very good question. It did.
[0:08:12.0] AMY MOORE: Hey.
[0:08:13.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It did bother me, because I kept finding myself calling that episode like, “Uh, that episode, episode four. It’s such a buzzkill.”
[0:08:22.5] ERIN LINEHAN: Anna calls. She’s like, “It’s a buzzkill.” I was like, “Anna, that was so much information people actually need to know.”
[0:08:28.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Then I listened to it multiple times with the editing and the re-editing and stuff like that. I was like, “Oh, my word. There’s so much good stuff here.” Why did I keep having that feeling of like, “Uh, it’s a buzzkill.” I mean, that’s my own shit apparently, that I need to work through. Find out and –
[0:08:50.1] AMY MOORE: Maybe you like the podcast for its fun and maybe that was just a hard one for you.
[0:08:57.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It was heavy. Yeah. It was –
[0:08:58.3] AMY MOORE: That’s not really what you want the podcast to be?
[0:09:00.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Well, then after you said then I was like, “Oh, I’m so serious all the time. I got to stop being serious.” I was like, “Oh, shoot.”
[0:09:07.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You said the –
[0:09:08.0] AMY MOORE: I’m serious too.
[0:09:09.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You said the most amazing things.
[0:09:10.7] ERIN LINEHAN: I mean, yes. We can have different energy on the show, but it was just like – it’s just like, “Oh.” I’m like, “That’s a great episode.” Then it was like, “Oh, this was a buzzkill.” I’m like, “Oh.” Like, “Oh, why am I so serious all the time?” That’s what I was thinking.
[0:09:26.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That was maybe not the most sensitive way for me to put it.
[0:09:30.3] AMY MOORE: I think it’s good though. Ultimately, I think it’s good. It’s like, we will be laughing on here. We’ll be having heavy stuff on here. Well, whatever, right?
[0:09:38.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s just —
[0:09:39.7] AMY MOORE: It’s just like coffee.
[0:09:41.2] ERIN LINEHAN: We will cry at some point, undoubtedly.
[0:09:43.7] AMY MOORE: I think I may have already in some point.
[0:09:47.1] ERIN LINEHAN: I think you’re right.
[0:09:51.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I have a special request. I wonder if anyone in their basements, Erin just looked at me like, “What are you going to say?”
[0:09:57.9] AMY MOORE: 180. Here we go.
[0:09:59.3] ERIN LINEHAN: Here we go. It was thrown out and said.
[0:10:01.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Special request, check your attics. Check your basements, does anyone have the Dear Abby pamphlet, How to be Popular? Please find it.
[0:10:13.8] AMY MOORE: You said that was a Dear Abby one, right?
[0:10:16.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Dear Abby, how to be popular no matter your age, something like that.
[0:10:20.2] AMY MOORE: Do you have any idea when it may have been coming out, published?
[0:10:24.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: No. 80s maybe. 90s. Yeah. Just like a regular old pamphlet. With her face on it.
[0:10:31.3] ERIN LINEHAN: She’s not alive. Ann Landers alive?
[0:10:33.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: No.
[0:10:34.4] ERIN LINEHAN: They’re both dead.
[0:10:35.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Totally dead.
[0:10:36.0] AMY MOORE: Shoot. All right.
[0:10:38.7] ERIN LINEHAN: Someone.
[0:10:39.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, someone’s got to have one.
[0:10:40.7] ERIN LINEHAN: Someone’s got to have one. Or maybe you’re related to them and you have that in the archives of the family. Maybe?
[0:10:47.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Does anyone know either of their family members?
[0:10:49.4] ERIN LINEHAN: You do.
[0:10:50.3] AMY MOORE: If you do, we would love to interview you. Let’s just get that out there. What’s our voicemail number again?
[0:10:58.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, yeah.
[0:10:59.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Oh, it’s a great question.
[0:11:01.4] AMY MOORE: Sorry.
[0:11:03.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I don’t have it memorized. I literally don’t have anyone’s phone number, even ours memorized. I can find it super quick. In the meantime, we can talk about other stuff.
[0:11:13.4] AMY MOORE: Totally. In the mean, while Anna is looking up that phone number, I am going to read a five-star review by Wendy B. The title of her review was “We all need connection, truthful podcast”. Then she went on to write, “Loved hearing these ladies talk about connection. As a busy adult, it’s sometimes hard to find the time to connect with people within the different levels of friendships. Their podcast is totally honest and certainly makes you feel you’re not alone in your thoughts around friendships and expectations.” We just want to say, thank you so much Wendy B. We love hearing from all of you and we so appreciate your reviews and especially those five stars. Seriously, thanks. Thanks a lot, Wendy.
[0:11:59.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Thank you so much.
[0:12:01.2] ERIN LINEHAN: It makes me feel – I say this often, but it really makes my heart smile when it’s just super full of –
[0:12:07.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s so cool.
[0:12:07.8] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s super cool.
[0:12:08.7] AMY MOORE: It is.
[0:12:09.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s the best thing to know you’re not just talking into the abyss. To just know that it’s resonating with people. We’ve heard great feedback about people listening to it on their drive to work and they feel they’re having coffee.
[0:12:21.1] ERIN LINEHAN: They feel like they’re having coffee with us.
[0:12:23.2] AMY MOORE: Yes.
[0:12:24.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, cool. That’s our goal.
[0:12:26.6] AMY MOORE: Yeah, it’s great. Did you find it?
[0:12:29.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I found the number.
[0:12:30.4] ERIN LINEHAN: That’s amazing.
[0:12:31.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: What?
[0:12:32.1] ERIN LINEHAN: I want you to share this with me.
[0:12:33.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I totally can.
[0:12:34.8] AMY MOORE: You guys need to talk about what you’re looking at right now.
[0:12:37.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Go ahead. Anna busted out on her phone one of her contacts has all the information that we need from the podcast, from the phone number to the e-mail address, to all the things.
[0:12:48.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: All the social media.
[0:12:48.7] ERIN LINEHAN: All in one place. Of course, Anna. Thinks about this, because this is how your brain works.
[0:12:51.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I put our logo in there.
[0:12:52.6] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s fantastic. I wanted you to share that with me.
[0:12:55.2] AMY MOORE: Way to go.
[0:12:56.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I will share that. Our number, call us with any question, any relationship thing.
[0:13:00.5] AMY MOORE: Anything about Dear Abby.
[0:13:02.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Anything about her. 775-591-8860. Give us a call and I am going to share this with Erin.
[0:13:10.4] AMY MOORE: You can share it with me too, Anna.
[0:13:11.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, okay. I’m going to do that right now before I forget. Okay. Done.
[0:13:16.7] AMY MOORE: All right, everybody. We are moving on to the topic of the day. What is up with women?
[0:13:27.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, this is a big one.
[0:13:28.6] ERIN LINEHAN: It is a big one.
[0:13:30.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: This is frenemies mean girls category.
[0:13:35.2] ERIN LINEHAN: Also, a really solid, amazing women.
[0:13:37.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, yeah, yeah. I’m saying what the –
[0:13:39.7] AMY MOORE: Full spectrum.
[0:13:40.9] ERIN LINEHAN: Full spectrum. Thank you.
[0:13:41.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Full spectrum. Yeah. Yeah. When we talk about friendships, women in particular have a lot to say about a lot of caddie bees. That comes up a lot of –
[0:13:56.6] ERIN LINEHAN: I don’t have time for that shit.
[0:13:58.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. Drama and cliques, all the bad things. I always get so sad when I hear people say that they have no relationships with women, or when they just –
[0:14:11.6] AMY MOORE: Have you ever experienced that?
[0:14:13.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: The cattiness?
[0:14:15.0] AMY MOORE: No. Have you ever been on the side of like, “Uh, women. I have no relationships with.” Have you –
[0:14:21.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. I’ve been on the outside for sure. It’s way better to be on inside. It sucks to be on the outside. Big time. I mean, it makes me sad to think that people don’t have close relationships with women. I think that’s why this topic is so important.
[0:14:41.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Because my foundational support through my life is my friendships with women and have really strong people to support me and lift me up. That’s helped me grow as a person. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t.
[0:14:54.0] AMY MOORE: There is definitely a sisterhood. I mean, the bond between women friends is strong.
[0:15:04.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s amazing when it works.
[0:15:06.6] AMY MOORE: Yes.
[0:15:06.9] ERIN LINEHAN: Special.
[0:15:08.1] AMY MOORE: Yes, it is something special. Yeah. Yeah.
[0:15:11.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That’s why it makes me feel so sad when I hear women don’t have that. We’ve talked about connections and friendships in the past couple episodes, but I think addressing women with women friendships is super, super important. Growing –
[0:15:25.5] AMY MOORE: Don’t you think so much of the cattiness or whatever comes from just general insecurity? I mean, ultimately it’s like what you’re talking about the tree. Anna’s tree or being okay in your body. I mean, really truly, for someone’s who’s super insecure, I think it’s really hard not to be a total B, especially when you’re around another woman who is in her tree, or whatever. Is a tree. It’s just like, I don’t know. I think that’s also a sad thing. I think when I think about it’s like, “Ah, it’s really –”
[0:16:04.0] ERIN LINEHAN: I’m going to skip to that power thing, because it fits in here. Part of my thing when we brought up this topic about wanting to talk about women relationships, is because I was with somewhere with my husband last year and he was like – he was going to introduce me to this colleague or something. He was like, “Well, I don’t know if you’re going to like her.” I was like, “Okay.” Then I met her and I was like, “Oh, I like her a lot,” because she could be in her power and I could be in my power and we could be in power together and we didn’t need – I didn’t need to be small, she didn’t need to be small and we could be strong together. I think that when cattiness starts or that, then someone gets tripped up by someone else’s standing in their power.
That kind of dynamic, while because I think that that comes from a place of women trying to get to a seat at the table, or fight for male attention, or whatever is happening, that thing it triggers the hell out of me, because I don’t understand why we all can’t just be in our power. With the three of us, right? We celebrate each other and we want to lift each other up. That dynamic, when it’s effective is so powerful and is so – to feel like people have you and got you is something that –
[0:17:24.4] AMY MOORE: There are no words. I mean, really.
[0:17:26.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s amazing. I like that idea of all the ships rise when the tide is high. It’s like, “Come on. Get in the boat. Rise and we’re doing this. We’re doing this. Come on.”
[0:17:36.6] ERIN LINEHAN: That we don’t need to cut each other down.
[0:17:40.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s like, if someone else is succeeding, it doesn’t mean I’m less than, or not able to succeed. It’s like, we can all win and we can all –
[0:17:47.1] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s like, come on.
[0:17:48.7] AMY MOORE: I think it’s taken me a long time to get to this place though.
[0:17:52.2] ERIN LINEHAN: Say more about that.
[0:17:53.1] AMY MOORE: I mean, I just feel competition through and through, which I think ultimately was all about insecurity, or this competition ultimately, right? Wanting to be loved, or I don’t know. The competition around who’s whose friend, like all that stuff. I totally went through that. It’s taken –
[0:18:15.3] ERIN LINEHAN: I think everyone goes through that for sure. I think that’s a part of adolescent growing up, then through college. Even early, I think in their 20s and then thank God, we turned 30. I’m almost 40, so we can drop that shit, because it’s exhausting.
[0:18:30.5] AMY MOORE: I don’t think though it’s – I don’t think it’s automatic. I do think it takes personal growth and you got to work on your shit, to get to a place where you can be in a ship next to another ship, who’s also rising with the tide and feel okay about it.
[0:18:49.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Right. I think, to be able to check yourself when you’re being super judgy, like I heard someone talk like, well, when people, women take down each other, it’s like, I am as an example, this was the example that I was listening to and they were like, well, if I have issues with my own ass, right, and I look at someone else’s ass and I’m commenting on her ass like, “Oh, she’s got a big ass,” that’s probably because I have shit with my own ass. If I’m comment – did that make sense?
[0:19:17.7] AMY MOORE: Really. Of course.
[0:19:19.4] ERIN LINEHAN: If I’m commenting on well, her energy is too big or whatever, that’s because people tell me, I’m too effing much all the time. Then if it’s like, if I’m getting judgy about some – if I’m not in a good space and I’m doing that, even currently now that I’m like, “Oh, dude. Check yourself.” Then it just feels gross.
[0:19:40.8] AMY MOORE: It’s just looking in a mirror.
[0:19:41.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Yes, yes. It’s a really good mirror, about what I feel insecure about right now. That’s great. I want to go home and cry about that.
[0:19:50.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Because her ass wouldn’t bother you if you were fine with your own.
[0:19:53.2] AMY MOORE: Exactly.
[0:19:54.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Yes, that’s right.
[0:19:55.2] AMY MOORE: You got big butt and I cannot lie.
[0:19:59.9] ERIN LINEHAN: I want to go walk up with [inaudible 0:20:01.1].
[0:20:05.5] AMY MOORE: That’s good.
[0:20:08.0] ERIN LINEHAN: Oh, that feels good. Okay. There is that.
[0:20:12.3] AMY MOORE: Anyway, look in that mirror though, right? I mean, it’s a good –
[0:20:17.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Look at the [inaudible 0:20:17.5].
[0:20:21.8] ERIN LINEHAN: You can do butt side-bends or sit-up. Please don’t lose that butt.
[0:20:30.4] AMY MOORE: I do think though, like looking in the mirror.
[0:20:34.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Right, right.
[0:20:35.7] AMY MOORE: It’s a good practical tip right there.
[0:20:38.5] ERIN LINEHAN: Good practical tip. Okay. We’re being judgy be. What are you being judgy about?
[0:20:43.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Look in the mirror. It’s really about you.
[0:20:46.7] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s the truth.
[0:20:49.2] AMY MOORE: You guys both grew up with siblings, right?
[0:20:52.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah.
[0:20:54.7] AMY MOORE: Well you Anna, you have a brother.
[0:20:56.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I do have a brother.
[0:20:57.9] AMY MOORE: Erin, no brothers.
[0:20:59.8] ERIN LINEHAN: No brothers.
[0:21:01.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You have one?
[0:21:02.8] AMY MOORE: I have one sister and I have three brothers. Yeah. What was that like for you growing up, or what was your – how do you think that’s affected, or has it affected your female, your relationship with female friends, or guy friends, really?
[0:21:23.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, yeah. I feel way more comfortable with women.
[0:21:26.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Me too.
[0:21:26.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Generally. I haven’t been able to relate to that idea of not having girl women friends. I do understand the hesitation there, but I haven’t been able to relate so much. I feel like super lucky to have sisters and people, women that I’m close to. I continue to seek out women that feel like sisters to me, because of those relationships that I grew up with. Yeah, as far as guys, I do have some guy friends, but yeah, it’s just different.
[0:22:05.6] ERIN LINEHAN: It is different.
[0:22:06.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: They’re not sisters.
[0:22:08.3] ERIN LINEHAN: They are not. Yeah, I grew up with four sisters in my family, but I am must have been an oops, because my older sister is 12 years older than me.
[0:22:18.5] AMY MOORE: It’s nice though that you don’t know, or do you?
[0:22:22.8] ERIN LINEHAN: Well, I don’t know.
[0:22:23.7] AMY MOORE: They’re surprised.
[0:22:25.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Oh, my. Great.
[0:22:28.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Everyone’s in college. Let me have a newborn.
[0:22:31.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Hey, not quite.
[0:22:33.5] AMY MOORE: Hello.
[0:22:34.5] ERIN LINEHAN: My oldest sister is 12 years older, then 11 years older, eight years older and six years older than me. They were around, but then I was in the house with my mom for – it was like I was an only child, so it’s I have sisters, but then I was like –
[0:22:46.2] AMY MOORE: It’s like my siblings.
[0:22:47.0] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah. Yup. Yeah, we only had women in the house. For a long time, I – I mean, I had the boys in the neighborhood that I’d play king of the mountain with and homerun derby. That was awesome. I’d been the biggest kid ever. Me.
[0:23:04.7] AMY MOORE: Big butts.
[0:23:07.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Hey, hey, hey, hey.
[0:23:10.2] AMY MOORE: Totally kidding.
[0:23:11.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I’m just imagining kid Erin with a huge butt now.
[0:23:15.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Oh, no. I was this size in the 6th grade. Are you kidding me?
[0:23:19.6] AMY MOORE: Were you really? You were really tall when you were –
[0:23:20.6] ERIN LINEHAN: I was huge. I really was a 6th grade.
[0:23:25.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: How tall are you?
[0:23:25.5] ERIN LINEHAN: I am 5’9” and I’m not small. Yeah.
[0:23:29.0] AMY MOORE: You are not huge at all.
[0:23:31.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You’re strong.
[0:23:31.5] ERIN LINEHAN: I know I’m strong, but still when you’re in 6th grade and you’re –
[0:23:34.0] AMY MOORE: Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[0:23:35.7] ERIN LINEHAN: I didn’t trim down until 10th grade. I was not small either.
[0:23:45.1] AMY MOORE: 5’9” with the biggest butt ever.
[0:23:48.3] ERIN LINEHAN: It was never the butt. There is this picture of me.
[0:23:50.4] AMY MOORE: I heard those rumor. I don’t know. I don’t know. I heard of a rumor.
[0:23:54.5] ERIN LINEHAN: It was a spare tire in the beginning. We grew up in Pennsylvania. We had this bush we’d throw with dendrums. Pretty. It was Easter and I have this pastel dress on or something. There’s a picture, my posture is terrible. I am a not a Dracula. If I can find it, I’ll post that –
[0:24:13.9] AMY MOORE: Can we put it online?
[0:24:16.1] ERIN LINEHAN: I bet my sister has it. There is just me hunching over and then I had this huge spare tire and I’m like, “That is the worst thing I have ever seen.” Those pictures when you’re a kid you’re like –
[0:24:27.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Cringe-worthy?
[0:24:28.5] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s not the butt, it’s the spare tire on my stomach, Anna!
[0:24:32.8] AMY MOORE: I just got to say about women friendships and sisters, I feel 2019 has been the year of women for me, showing up amazing. Even right now, my sister is visiting for the weekend.
[0:24:48.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s so cool.
[0:24:49.9] AMY MOORE: It’s just amazing. There is nothing like it. I really do think the power of just that certain sisterhood feeling. I mean, with my true sister of course, where it’s like, ups and downs, whatever. Man, when it counts, that relationship is –
[0:25:06.8] ERIN LINEHAN: Show up.
[0:25:07.8] AMY MOORE: Yeah. It’s unlike any other relationship. I mean, it really is something special. Even my sister-in-laws who are younger than me, so I get to have younger sisters and how special those relationships are to me. Then how girlfriends are – it is like, those tight girlfriends are just as much a sister, or similar to that feeling as my real sister. Yeah, and just like a phone call and people will show up. They’re all women.
[0:25:43.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s so cool.
[0:25:44.6] AMY MOORE: Yeah, it is.
[0:25:45.6] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s powerful.
[0:25:46.1] AMY MOORE: It is powerful. Then I got to say too, so I was growing up, I was definitely tomboy streak. I had my tree fort club and it was all boys. I had a bubblegum club. Most of them boys.
[0:26:00.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Can I tell you the story really quick?
[0:26:01.6] AMY MOORE: Yeah
[0:26:03.5] ERIN LINEHAN: My friend, Matt and I had a –
[0:26:05.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: The turtle guy?
[0:26:06.5] ERIN LINEHAN: The turtle guy. We had a secret hiding place. We took dues on the neighborhood kids and buried them in the fort. Then they stole the money. Dues, like we made them paid a dollar to come in or something. I can’t remember. Then they stole the money, because we buried it in the ground. Mom was laughing hysterically, because it was just like, “Well, what you’d expect?” We were like, “They stole the money!” Anyhow, sorry.
[0:26:33.2] AMY MOORE: Guilty. I went to the local candy store with the dues from my tree fort club. Sorry Brian and Tim.
[0:26:44.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Smart with the dues. We were just walking around this sewer in front of our house.
[0:26:51.1] AMY MOORE: That’s what happened to you.
[0:26:53.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. Talk about being a tomboy. We were running through the sewer pipes. It was just what we did. It’s so bad. It sounds so gross and there were rats and I’m like, “Uh, great. As long as they don’t touch me, it’s fine.” Just yeah. Yeah, tomboys.
[0:27:12.3] ERIN LINEHAN: Tomboys. Yeah. During the clubs.
[0:27:14.5] AMY MOORE: Yes, yes. Yeah. On the bikes. I had so many bike crashes. Oh, my goodness.
[0:27:19.9] ERIN LINEHAN: Homerun derby, all-time QB.
[0:27:22.7] AMY MOORE: Yeah.
[0:27:23.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You?
[0:27:24.5] AMY MOORE: All-time QB. Oh, you got that in the neighborhood when you’re like, “I’m all-time QB.”
[0:27:27.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That’s amazing.
[0:27:28.7] ERIN LINEHAN: Can you go by to play defense.
[0:27:31.2] AMY MOORE: Smart.
[0:27:31.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That’s awesome.
[0:27:32.5] AMY MOORE: Smart. That is good stuff. That is good stuff. I would say – I think –
[0:27:38.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Sorry, I got you –
[0:27:39.3] AMY MOORE: No, no, no, no. I think for me, I loved guy friends. For me, a lot of it was about I did not want drama with a lot of – I was that person. I was like, “Fuck that.” Oops. Yeah, but I was that person of like, “Oh, my God. I just want to avoid the drama. Guys are so much easier.”
[0:28:01.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Did you have experiences with women, or girls at that time being dramatic? Is that what made you think that, or –
[0:28:09.4] AMY MOORE: Oh, yeah. Probably. I contributed a 100%. I mean, it’s like, let’s be real here. I’m telling you. I do not have the prettiest past of –
[0:28:22.3] ERIN LINEHAN: The competitive part you Trixie and Amy.
[0:28:24.4] AMY MOORE: Exactly, exactly, exactly. A lot of times I was like, “I’ll just hang out with the guys.”
[0:28:29.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Stir the pot and then “I’m with the guys”.
[0:28:32.8] ERIN LINEHAN: I know. I know.
[0:28:33.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I know it is for myself at least. Usually, like when I was a kid or whatever be like, “I don’t like drama,” and then I’d be the one making the drama.
[0:28:41.5] AMY MOORE: Oh, I know. I know.
[0:28:43.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s like, “Um. Hmm.”
[0:28:45.1] AMY MOORE: Yeah, way to go. Yeah. In college, I mean, one of my closest friends who is, was, is a guy. I recently saw him. Well, I guess it must have been two years ago visiting in Seattle and I got to meet him for coffee. I hadn’t seen him for a few years. Oh, my God. It was the best. It was so good to see him.
[0:29:08.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Did you still feel like good friends?
[0:29:10.2] AMY MOORE: Yeah. I mean, it was just the ability to connect, like any old friend where you have that, as if no time has really passed and you can just pick up where you left off. So often for me, that is with a female friend. I got to have that with my guy friend from – and we went through some crazy stuff together when we were in our early 20s. It was so great. It was so great to have that.
[0:29:36.3] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s great when you have that.
[0:29:37.2] AMY MOORE: Yeah.
[0:29:38.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: With your guy friends, do you think that they all want to bone you?
[0:29:46.2] AMY MOORE: No.
[0:29:47.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Okay. [Inaudible 0:29:47.6].
[0:29:50.9] AMY MOORE: Some people definitely have that theory though. It’s impossible to have an opposite-sex friendship, because of that.
[0:29:58.0] ERIN LINEHAN: I don’t think it is the case.
[0:29:59.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That’s why I had to ask. I am just playing devil’s advocate reality’s asshole.
[0:30:05.9] AMY MOORE: We are going to focus in on there was a book published in 2017. It is called You’re the Only One I Can Tell, by Deborah Tannen. It’s about inside the language of women friendships. I’m just going to read a little bit here.
All right, “Best friend, old friend, good friend, BFF, college roommate, neighbor, workplace, confidante, women’s friendships are a lifeline in times of trouble and a support system for daily life. A friend can be like a sister, daughter, mother, mentor, therapist or confessor. Or she can be all of these at once. She’s seen you at your worst and celebrates you at your best, figuring out what it means to be friends is in the end, no less than figuring out how we can connect to other people.
From casual chatting to intimate confiding, from talking about problems to telling what you had for dinner, Tannen uncovers the patterns of communication and miscommunication that affect friendships at different points in our lives. She shows how even the best of friends with the best intentions can say the wrong thing and how words can repair the damage done by words.”
[0:31:25.2] ERIN LINEHAN: I mean, you need to read me a bedtime story. I was like, “Oh, blowing me in, Amy.”
[0:31:31.5] AMY MOORE: Thank you.
[0:31:32.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Blowing me in.
[0:31:34.7] AMY MOORE: Should I keep going with that last paragraph? Drawing on it, is that –
[0:31:37.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Nah.
[0:31:38.3] AMY MOORE: Nah? Okay.
[0:31:39.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. That book, it seems it’d be a really good one to have read right now.
[0:31:44.0] ERIN LINEHAN: You’re right. It’s great.
[0:31:45.0] AMY MOORE: Yeah, we would sure be able to talk about it a little bit more.
[0:31:48.9] ERIN LINEHAN: Seems like a great idea, Deborah.
[0:31:50.7] AMY MOORE: Thank you. For now, we’re going to go take a nap.
[0:31:54.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Amy’s going to read us a children’s book and we’re going to bed. Good Night, Moon.
[0:31:58.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, so that’s a really good one to check out. Okay, moving on.
[0:32:04.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Boom! Mic drop right there. Okay, keep going.
[0:32:07.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Okay, so there is a crazy story.
[0:32:09.9] AMY MOORE: Oh, this is good.
[0:32:11.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Bustle.com says Brits would ditch for their BFFs for the right amount of cash. You really can’t buy true loving friendship, or can you? Well, according to a recent research, it looks like the average Brit would ditch their BFF for a cash sum of a 131 pounds.
[0:32:30.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Thousand.
[0:32:31.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Thousand pounds. Thanks. Or a 166,599 US dollars. That is crazy, right?
[0:32:39.1] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s crazy.
[0:32:40.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That seems low.
[0:32:41.2] AMY MOORE: That’s crazy. I was going to say that too. That just doesn’t even seem that much money to ditch your BFFs. How many people did they ask for this little study?
[0:32:49.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That’s a good question.
[0:32:51.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Scientific study, I bet.
[0:32:52.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That would be really good to know. Bustle.
[0:32:59.0] ERIN LINEHAN: How much would it take for you guys?
[0:33:01.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Never. I would never.
[0:33:02.3] AMY MOORE: Never. Never.
[0:33:04.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Come on. Just kidding.
[0:33:08.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Come on, what’s your number?
[0:33:10.6] ERIN LINEHAN: What’s your number, come on? Come on?
[0:33:12.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: No, really.
[0:33:14.0] ERIN LINEHAN: No.
[0:33:15.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: What about you, Amy? Apparently.
[0:33:16.8] AMY MOORE: No, no. I also –
[0:33:18.4] ERIN LINEHAN: We’re done, Anna.
[0:33:19.2] AMY MOORE: I do not to have a number. I would much rather have –
[0:33:22.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Priceless.
[0:33:23.7] AMY MOORE: Priceless. Yeah.
[0:33:26.1] ERIN LINEHAN: What’s happening?
[0:33:28.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Okay, we haven’t been in the studio for a couple weeks.
[0:33:31.5] AMY MOORE: It’s true.
[0:33:32.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Anna was on vacation, and so this is –
[0:33:34.7] AMY MOORE: Oh, yeah.
[0:33:34.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. We’re little –
[0:33:38.3] ERIN LINEHAN: We had a lot of friend contact for a while. Then we hadn’t seen each other for a week and a half. Now this is the first time we’re back together.
[0:33:46.0] AMY MOORE: It feels like the first one.
[0:33:47.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It does.
[0:33:47.9] ERIN LINEHAN: It does feel like the first one.
[0:33:49.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: We’re a little slap happy.
[0:33:50.6] ERIN LINEHAN: We are a little slap happy.
[0:33:53.5] AMY MOORE: All right, so next topic.
[0:33:55.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Wow, okay.
[0:33:55.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Cliques.
[0:33:56.4] AMY MOORE: Cliques.
[0:33:57.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: What about them? This is the whole mean girls thing.
[0:34:02.1] AMY MOORE: Do you think the Me Too movement has affected women’s relationships.
[0:34:06.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I do. I think they’ve made people closer.
[0:34:09.1] AMY MOORE: I wonder about that too. It does feel like that movement has shifted some narrative with women.
[0:34:16.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Say more about that.
[0:34:17.9] AMY MOORE: I don’t know. I just feel like – I mean, a lot of women came together.
[0:34:21.8] ERIN LINEHAN: Well, because I think that sexual assault happen all the time with – happens so much, and so when you can share with me like, “Oh, yeah. I’m not alone in that. Oh, that happened to you too?” Because the statistic on that is so high, that it’s super powerful. That’s people standing in their truth. Standing in their truth, like that’s what that’s look like. Then that gives everyone else around them strength to also stand in their truth. I do think that it affects people, because it’s powerful and contagious in a – because that’s real power of sure, this thing happened to me, but I’m going to own this and just be in it. Then someone else is going to be like, “Yeah, me too.” Super powerful.
[0:34:57.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: There’s so much shame around that, to know that you’re no longer isolated and that you’re the only one.
[0:35:07.1] AMY MOORE: I wonder the relationship between coming out about all of that, and so shedding the shame. Then people are maybe less insecure. There is less of that bitchiness that comes out, because people are just – they’re being vulnerable. They’re being open. They’re being honest. Then that insecurity goes away.
[0:35:26.6] ERIN LINEHAN: If you have a real place of connection with someone you’re like, “Oh, well you were like this, but then now I know this thing about you, and now this horrible shit happened to me too.” If you can see that in another person, it’s hard than be shitty to them.
[0:35:42.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s all that surface stuff, like be competitive and ego-driven things. That just does not even matter anymore. It’s like, when you can relate on that deeper level.
[0:35:54.7] AMY MOORE: Anyway, those random tangent. I do feel like it has had an impact on the narrative of female relationships.
[0:36:06.0] ERIN LINEHAN: Absolutely.
[0:36:06.6] AMY MOORE: Or the narrative of relationships between women.
[0:36:07.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, I hadn’t thought about that, but it absolutely has. I’m glad you brought that up.
[0:36:11.2] ERIN LINEHAN: Yes. How people talk about that. Culturally, it’s an entire different movement. Then it’s really the shame thing, because shame is disconnection. You’re kicked out of the tribe and that’s a survival thing. Then when you’re caring around that forever and then you’re like, “Oh, I don’t have to.” Then you can shed it, it is powerful.
[0:36:33.1] AMY MOORE: Yeah. Definitely allows people to be open and then able to connect.
[0:36:37.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, definitely.
[0:36:37.9] AMY MOORE: Right?
[0:36:38.5] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s a good point.
[0:36:39.7] AMY MOORE: Well, interesting. Yeah.
[0:36:41.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I’m glad you brought that up.
[0:36:42.2] AMY MOORE: Thanks.
[0:36:44.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: So cliques. Mean girls. Were either of you in cliques. What do you think about them?
[0:36:50.1] ERIN LINEHAN: I totally was. I wish I could say I wasn’t.
[0:36:56.1] AMY MOORE: Yeah, but I was. I mean –
[0:36:58.6] ERIN LINEHAN: How was that, Amy?
[0:37:00.0] AMY MOORE: I mean, elementary school, I remember there were 13 of us. It was 13. Oh, yeah. We were tight.
[0:37:07.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That is a lot.
[0:37:08.5] AMY MOORE: Yeah, I don’t know. It was our group.
[0:37:12.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Was it only girls, or guys too?
[0:37:15.3] AMY MOORE: I mean, actually to be totally honest, I wonder. I wonder what would they say? What would other people say?
[0:37:22.3] ERIN LINEHAN: If your Doc Martens could talk Amy?
[0:37:25.5] AMY MOORE: Doc Martens. Thank you so much. We’re in high school. Those green Doc Martens. That’s high school. My mom still has them.
[0:37:32.2] ERIN LINEHAN: That’s awesome.
[0:37:34.4] AMY MOORE: Yeah. I should bring them out. Oh, yeah. You did. Black ones, right? Yeah.
[0:37:39.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Of course, it’s steel toe.
[0:37:40.1] AMY MOORE: Of course. Yeah. Yeah. Mine were the high-top green Doc Martens.
[0:37:46.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Did you do the thick leather ones? The sandals? Were those Doc Martens?
[0:37:52.5] ERIN LINEHAN: Birkenstocks?
[0:37:53.6] AMY MOORE: No.
[0:37:55.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: They look like basket weave.
[0:37:58.9] AMY MOORE: Not sure I know about those.
[0:38:01.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Big plastic sole. Yeah, I have to show you a picture. Maybe they’re not Doc Martens.
[0:38:07.3] AMY MOORE: Yeah, I don’t know those, but I did have the green boots.
[0:38:10.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: They sound very cool.
[0:38:12.1] AMY MOORE: They were pretty cool, I got to say. I have to bust them out again.
[0:38:15.9] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah, please.
[0:38:16.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You should.
[0:38:17.0] AMY MOORE: Oh, my God.
[0:38:19.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You should.
[0:38:20.2] ERIN LINEHAN: I don’t know if I can.
[0:38:21.7] AMY MOORE: Yeah, but anyway. Cliques. I think that yeah. I don’t know.
[0:38:27.0] ERIN LINEHAN: I think I’d buried – I was up with my best friend in high school from 7th grade to 12th grade and we just had each other. Then we would just be friends with everyone. I played three sports in high school, and so I would go from hanging out with the whatever team, I was more often than hanging out with. It never was an exclusive thing. I do remember when I got that feeling from people, it just felt bad.
[0:38:53.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Feeling excluded.
[0:38:55.9] AMY MOORE: Terrible.
[0:38:55.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Not even purposely excluded just to not be on the inside track of that. It just does not feel good.
[0:39:01.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You know what my mom send? I’m an identical twin, right? She says that me and my identical twin have a clique. I’m like, “Oh, I’m not trying to exclude you.”
[0:39:18.2] AMY MOORE: That’s funny though.
[0:39:18.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. I’m like, “I’m sorry mom. What did I say?”
[0:39:23.4] ERIN LINEHAN: What’s your response?
[0:39:24.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I’d say, “No we don’t.”
[0:39:28.5] ERIN LINEHAN: Definitely reassuring.
[0:39:31.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Super great with the feelings statements. Very validating. I’m just the best daughter ever with hearing her.
[0:39:39.9] ERIN LINEHAN: There it is.
[0:39:40.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: No. No, we don’t mutually.
[0:39:43.2] ERIN LINEHAN: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
[0:39:45.4] AMY MOORE: How can you not have a click with a twin? Especially an identical one. That’s an amazing bond.
[0:39:53.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Did you ever flopped places when the people did that?
[0:39:56.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I always wanted to.
[0:39:57.8] AMY MOORE: I tried to with a best friend of mine.
[0:39:59.3] ERIN LINEHAN: Did it work?
[0:39:59.8] AMY MOORE: No. I tried to with my sister too in piano lessons. We tried to psyche up the piano teacher. It didn’t work.
[0:40:07.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Like, “Why are you here?”
[0:40:09.7] ERIN LINEHAN: Go get your sister. This is not working.
[0:40:14.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: No, I’m Ann. It was always so funny though, because people would be like, “I wish I had a twin. I would have her do all my things.” I’m like, “That’s not how this shit works. You don’t know how this works. Let me give you a quick, little education about identical twins and you do not do everything you want.” Wouldn’t that have been great?
[0:40:37.0] AMY MOORE: The good news is – Oh, wait. I wanted to say one other thing though about the male friendships and the male – I really do think that men who are able to be a little bit more emotionally – who are more emotionally in-tune, which is this friend of mine who I was referring to earlier. He is. I feel there are some other – that makes all the difference. That’s really like –
[0:41:01.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Actually, it’s super, super refreshing with the guys be like –
[0:41:04.1] AMY MOORE: Oh, it’s amazing.
[0:41:06.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Be okay with their emotions and talk about it and just be –
[0:41:11.3] AMY MOORE: Emotionally available. Let’s just like, practically speaking, how can you extend kindness?
[0:41:16.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Okay. When you see a woman in need, help her. Then I’d like to raise women up by just – if I see a selfie that someone’s posted, I’d like to like them.
[0:41:30.9] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah, it’s good. That was Amy.
[0:41:33.3] AMY MOORE: It’s true. I’m sorry, Anna. I’m not even going to look at you right now. I just can’t. I think that’s true though. Selfies, or just positive – super basic, right? Compliments.
[0:41:47.5] ERIN LINEHAN: Or when people are doing –
[0:41:48.4] AMY MOORE: Positive feelings.
[0:41:49.0] ERIN LINEHAN: Cool things, or if you like their overalls today. Anna.
[0:41:53.8] AMY MOORE: Super cute.
[0:41:55.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Super cute.
[0:41:55.5] AMY MOORE: Jumper. Another one, when other women talk bad behind someone’s back, ask yourself why. Better yet, even put a stop to it. I mean, why? Why? No one needs it, right?
[0:42:08.7] ERIN LINEHAN: No one needs it all.
[0:42:09.8] AMY MOORE: Compliment other women. Recognize achievements. Like Anna said earlier, all ships rise when the tide is high. Where did that little doozey come from? Good one.
[0:42:19.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I just made it up. Just kidding. I did not. I did not. That’s old, old, old.
[0:42:25.3] AMY MOORE: It’s good.
[0:42:25.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, it’s a good one.
[0:42:26.7] AMY MOORE: I like it. Share opportunities. Think of community over competition. Get to know her story before you judge. Don’t be a catty B. That’s what it comes down to.
[0:42:42.2] ERIN LINEHAN: Abby Wambach, who appropriately for the women’s world cup right now has written a book called The Wolf Pack, and so I’m just going to read this little snippet on Amazon, because I think it’s awesome. “In The Wolf Pack, Abby’s message to women is that we have never been Little Red Riding Hood. We are the wolves. We must wander off the path and blaze a new one together. She insists that women must go, let go of old rules of leadership that neither include or serve them. She created a new set of wolf pack rules to help women unleash their individual power, unite with their wolf pack and change the landscape of their lives and the world; from family room to the board room to the white house.
The thing she includes, are make failure your fuel. Transform failure to wisdom and power. Lead from the bench. Lead from wherever you are. Champion each other. Claim each woman’s victory as your own. Demand the effing ball. Don’t ask permission and take what you’ve earned.”
[0:43:49.4] AMY MOORE: So good.
[0:43:49.8] ERIN LINEHAN: So good.
[0:43:51.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Demand the ball.
[0:43:53.0] ERIN LINEHAN: Demand the ball.
[0:43:54.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Take what you’ve earned.
[0:43:56.3] AMY MOORE: I like make failure your fuel. So good.
[0:44:00.6] ERIN LINEHAN: So good. I saw her. I listened to her on an interview on the Finding Mastery podcast and she’s super powerful and very focused and I’m like, “Oh, she’s as serious as I am. Good.” I can identify intensity, because it felt good and she’s very directed and that’s good stuff.
[0:44:18.1] AMY MOORE: That’s so great. Thank.
[0:44:19.5] ERIN LINEHAN: What a badass is that she’s the all-time leading scorer of all men and women in international –
[0:44:25.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That’s so awesome.
[0:44:25.9] ERIN LINEHAN: She’s amazing. Check out the book. I would end you to read that book, but she’s – that’s good stuff. That’s exactly what we’re talking about, where we want women friendships to go.
[0:44:36.9] AMY MOORE: Thank you. Good. All right, so the nugget that we leave with today are awareness challenge is to smile and try to compliment at least three women.
[0:44:47.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That sounds totally doable.
[0:44:50.0] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah.
[0:44:50.0] AMY MOORE: Definitely.
[0:44:50.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Super, super doable. If you see something good in someone, just tell them. That’s as easy as that.
[0:44:57.7] ERIN LINEHAN: See how it goes.
[0:44:58.5] AMY MOORE: At least three people in two weeks. I think we can handle it.
[0:45:01.2] ERIN LINEHAN: I think we can handle it.
[0:45:02.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: We’re setting the bar really low.
[0:45:07.0] ERIN LINEHAN: If you do it, and then what? See how, I think to up-level that is watch their reactions and see how their energy changes when you can see them. When you see the person and you give an honest compliment that you really see something that you value in her. I mean, if you like her hair, great. Something, an attribute or an achievement and you authentically, genuinely comment on that. Watch how the energy shifts in that person.
[0:45:34.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That’s a really good idea to what if we change it to make it not a physical compliment?
[0:45:41.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Yes.
[0:45:42.9] AMY MOORE: Oh, that’s good. That’s very specific. Yeah.
[0:45:44.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s like, you light up the room, or whatever it is. Or –
[0:45:50.0] ERIN LINEHAN: Or you were glowing. Today, so Anna, she came in before you got here, Amy. I was like, “Oh, you had –” You were like, she’s talked about [inaudible 0:45:58.5], but I was like, “Oh, you had some done yourself today.” I was like, “Anna, you’re glowing today.” She went like, “Yeah.” Illuminated.
[0:46:07.2] AMY MOORE: That’s great.
[0:46:08.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Thanks. You only have two more people to tell.
[0:46:11.3] ERIN LINEHAN: Yes, two more people. Two more people. Right.
[0:46:14.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You’re like, I’m getting it done. Check one.
[0:46:19.7] ERIN LINEHAN: Amy, I love – before today’s podcast when we were listening to the House of Pain, Jump Around and you danced with me. Yeah –
[0:46:28.4] AMY MOORE: Anytime. Anytime.
[0:46:30.1] ERIN LINEHAN: I’ll give you a better one.
[0:46:32.1] AMY MOORE: Anytime.
[0:46:33.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Two people. Just kidding. I’m just –
[0:46:37.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You’re like, “I am getting mine and do this stuff.”
[0:46:38.1] ERIN LINEHAN: I’m kidding. Mine, this is done. Thank you.
[0:46:40.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Check and check.
[0:46:42.2] AMY MOORE: All right, so just a couple special thank yous and acknowledgments, please make sure you go to lessalonepodcast.com for the show notes and transcript. Also, remember to use the discount code LessAlonePodcast for 20% off your first month at weeditpodcasts.com.
[0:47:00.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Peace.
[0:47:01.1] AMY MOORE: Thanks, everybody.
[0:47:02.2] ERIN LINEHAN: Bye.
[0:47:03.4] AMY MOORE: Bye.
[0:47:03.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Bye.
[END OF EPISODE]
[0:47:07.9] AMY MOORE: Thanks for listening. You can find more about this episode and a way to connect to the community at lessalonepodcast.com. If you like us, don’t forget to subscribe and be sure to leave a review. It helps other people find us and could be just what they need.