EP8: Chronic Connection
Through a chronic digital connection, we can choose to NEVER experience boredom. We can also choose to never be “out of the loop”. Want to be “connected” ALL THE TIME, 24/7/365? Done.
In this episode we talk about how the internet — and all of our devices — have become the ULTIMATE frenemy. Honey pie, there’s a new BFF in town.
And, is all this chronic connection good? Bad? A mix?
We talk about smart homes, forming alliances with technology, and how you can show up authentically online. As the middle-aged ladies we are, we also do our fair share of reminiscing about the bygone era where landline telephones, encyclopedias and mix CDs reigned supreme.
If you love the digital world but kind of hate it too you won’t want to miss this episode!
Key Points From This Episode:
- Updates from Episode 7’s Awareness Nugget about creating the home you want
- Smart homes, Nest and how much does Alexa really listen to you?
- Connecting to the digital world through apps and podcasts
- Faster internet and the race to control digital information
- What we love and hate in the digital world
- The new tech of relationships and how we form alliances with technology
- Is technology a barrier, an enhancement or something in between?
- Reminiscing about life before smartphones
- The effect that phones have on social interaction
- How to do social media “right” and authentically and how fulfilling and rewarding it can be
- Anna’s experience at the recent Facebook Community Summit in San Francisco, California
- Safety, security and kindness in online communities
- How to connect through music, mixtapes and online playlists!
- Awareness Challenge around notifications and intentional attention
- And much more!
P.S. Be sure to Rate, Review and Subscribe to the podcast in your favorite podcast player!
Links and Resources from the Episode:
- Dory, the dog
- Connection to Home episode, Episode 7
- Last episode (when we talked about our connection to home)
- Minimalism and making it easy on yourself to declutter
- How to do the KonMari decluttering method
- Sage your house kit
- Palo Santo
- Sweet Grass
- Paw Patrol TV Show
- What do you think? Does it sound like a ghost is saying “Help Me” through this sound machine?
- How to rate and review a podcast on Apple Podcasts
- Better Call Saul TV Show
- Our favorite meditation apps: Buddhify meditation app, Calm meditation app, Headspace meditation app
- HeartMath app and heart rate monitor to calm breath and system
- Jackalope Art Fair
- The New Tech of Relationships article
- Margaret E. Morris
- Cal Newport
- Digital Minimalism
- Bored and Lonely? Blame Your Phone
- Sean Illing
- Susan J. Matt
- Bored and Brilliant
- The Conversation
- Gary V.
- How to get out of debt fast: AndThenWeSaved.com
- Wives Anonymous
- Spending Fasters group
- The Atlantic
- Facebook Emotional Support Groups
LESS ALONE PODCAST – EPISODE 08 – TRANSCRIPT
[0:00:01.5] AMY MOORE: We are three friends exploring connection. From the coffee shop to the podcast studio. I’m Amy.
[0:00:06.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I’m Anna.
[0:00:06.7] ERIN LINEHAN: I’m Erin.
[0:00:14.6] AMY MOORE: All right, everybody. Welcome back. We’re super glad.
[0:00:18.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Super glad.
[0:00:19.1] AMY MOORE: That you’re here, that we’re here.
[0:00:20.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah.
[0:00:21.2] AMY MOORE: Right?
[0:00:22.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Glad we’re here.
[0:00:23.9] AMY MOORE: Yes.
[0:00:24.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Dory. Dory is not here.
[0:00:25.6] AMY MOORE: Dory is not here this episode. She had to stay home. In fact, I don’t know if she’ll be invited back.
[0:00:32.5] ERIN LINEHAN: I’m pretty sure she’s not going to be invited back. No, I’m just kidding.
[0:00:37.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I know everybody really liked the panting. Barking.
[0:00:42.7] AMY MOORE: Hopefully it was okay. It added to the home episode.
[0:00:45.8] ERIN LINEHAN: That’s true.
[0:00:46.3] AMY MOORE: That’s what I’m going to stick with. Okay.
[0:00:47.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. Yeah. Special guest.
[0:00:49.8] AMY MOORE: Hope you all agree. Today, we’re on Episode 8. The topic for today is a big one. It is Connection to the Digital World.
[0:01:02.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That’s a big one. We got a lot to talk about.
[0:01:06.1] AMY MOORE: Before we get into it, I just – quick shout out, right? WeEditPodcasts.com
[0:01:12.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Thank you.
[0:01:13.3] AMY MOORE: Please remember to go there and then use the discount code ‘lessalonepodcast‘ for 20% off your first month at WeEditPodcasts.com
[0:01:22.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. They’ve been so awesome.
[0:01:24.8] AMY MOORE: So awesome.
[0:01:25.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Saved us tons and tons of time. If you’re into podcasting, if you’re starting, if you’re like, “Oh, my gosh. I want a podcast, but I don’t have the time the editing,” they have saved us so much time. Highly, highly recommend them.
[0:01:40.5] AMY MOORE: Yup. We got to move on to our awareness nugget. Last episode (when we talked about our connection to home), we left with the question, are the things you’re surrounding yourself with helping you to create the home you want? Anna, what do you think?
[0:01:54.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I feel, generally I’m really good at this. My husband tends to be pretty minimal, almost to the extreme. He always loves having the dining room table cleared, all the countertops clear. I’m more like, let’s put the gadgets on the countertop.
[0:02:14.1] ERIN LINEHAN: The coffee maker?
[0:02:15.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. I would have my coffee maker and the espresso machine and the SodaStream, all the things, and the KitchenAid mixer. Let’s put them all there, so I can use them when I want.
I mean, granted we do have very, very limited counter space. I mean, people come to our house and they’re usually like, “Whoa, you don’t have anything.” I feel like we are pretty good at this, generally speaking.
[0:02:41.5] AMY MOORE: What about the things that you do have? Do you feel they are giving you the home environment you want?
[0:02:47.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. I’m pretty tuned into that stuff. I feel whenever – actually something that totally has helped is having a container that is for ‘donate’. It’s in our back area and it just says ‘donate’ on it. Then when I’m ready to get rid of something, I just throw it in there and it’s nice to have a place for things.
We talked a little bit about having a system in place, or maintenance, like in why the KonMari method is a little troubling, or not troubling, but hard to keep up with is because of the maintenance, right?
[0:03:17.2] AMY MOORE: Yeah, the maintenance is hard.
[0:03:19.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I feel like no matter what you’re doing, you have to have something that works for you and it has to be sustainable. That’s something that’s in –
[0:03:26.4] AMY MOORE: Yeah. The donate one works for you.
[0:03:27.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, yeah.
[0:03:28.2] AMY MOORE: That’s cool. What about you, Erin?
[0:03:30.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Inside the house, I think that we are doing fairly well. Sometimes, the kitchen, we have this little, our kitchen is real small, but we have this table that we don’t sit at. It’s just for stuff.
[0:03:41.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: The ol’ Junk Collection Table.
[0:03:42.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Well, that’s what ends up happening. It’s nice, because we don’t have a lot of counter space for cooking, so it’s nice when it’s in there for that. We do need to clean the mudroom, the room that we come in, because we just –
[0:03:53.6] AMY MOORE: Oh, that’s a hard room.
[0:03:55.4] ERIN LINEHAN: A bunch of stuff in there. Well, and it’s the first thing, because we don’t come in the front door, we come in the side door where the mudroom is. When it’s cluttered, it doesn’t get a – when it’s clean, it feels like, “Ah,” when you walk in. Then when it’s not – so we do need to work on that.
Other than that, I think we’re doing all right. I saged my house this morning.
[0:04:16.4] AMY MOORE: That’s good.
[0:04:18.2] ERIN LINEHAN: Clean all the energy. Do that every so often.
[0:04:20.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: With saging, I have a whole sage kit, but I’ve never actually used it.
[0:04:25.3] AMY MOORE: Is it to make a smudge stick?
[0:04:27.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: No. I mean, I have — I bought it off of Etsy. I had a sage bundle and Palo – what is it?
[0:04:33.7] ERIN LINEHAN: Palo Santo?
[0:04:35.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Palo Santo. Yeah. I don’t really know how to do it.
[0:04:38.8] AMY MOORE: Smoke it. Let it smoke.
[0:04:41.6] ERIN LINEHAN: It smells like weed. It’s very intense. I was running today and it was all in my coat and I’m sure and I was like –
[0:04:48.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: This stoner trail runner.
[0:04:53.3] ERIN LINEHAN: Just sweating and – I got in the car after the run and Chris was like, “Uh, you smell like weed.”
[0:04:59.8] AMY MOORE: And sweat.
[0:05:01.1] ERIN LINEHAN: I’m like, “Uh, well that’s not awesome.”
[0:05:02.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Welcome to Colorado, Chris.
[0:05:06.6] ERIN LINEHAN: God. So make sure it gets in the corners and underneath and in under your bed, or whatever.
[0:05:13.6] AMY MOORE: Where energy can be stagnant.
[0:05:14.9] ERIN LINEHAN: Yes. To release everything that does not serve you. That’s what I say repeatedly.
[0:05:20.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, do you say something when you –
[0:05:21.4] ERIN LINEHAN: To me like, “Please release anything that’s not serving us. Please release anything that’s not serving us.”
[0:05:26.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, it’s cool.
[0:05:27.4] AMY MOORE: That’s cool.
[0:05:28.1] ERIN LINEHAN: There’s also sweet grass, I think it’s called. It smells so good, but –
[0:05:33.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
[0:05:36.7] AMY MOORE: No.
[0:05:38.4] ERIN LINEHAN: I had an intern and she was Native American, and so she gave me sweet grass. That brings in good energy.
[0:05:46.3] AMY MOORE: Oh, cool.
[0:05:47.8] ERIN LINEHAN: It doesn’t burn very well, so it can’t do the whole house –
[0:05:49.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: What is a Palo Santo stuff do?
[0:05:51.9] AMY MOORE: The same as the sage, right?
[0:05:53.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Clearing. I think it’s clearing.
[0:05:53.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, okay. Because I thought it was – yeah.
[0:05:55.0] ERIN LINEHAN: It smells real good.
[0:05:57.3] AMY MOORE: Yes.
[0:05:58.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah.
[0:05:58.4] ERIN LINEHAN: I think it’s less offensive, the smell. The sage is really strong.
[0:06:04.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I heard like, make sure you can open your windows and your doors.
[0:06:06.9] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, open everything.
[0:06:08.1] AMY MOORE: You want ventilation. Get that stuff out. Yeah. Yeah.
[0:06:10.5] ERIN LINEHAN: Yes, absolutely.
[0:06:11.4] AMY MOORE: Well, I got a say with my challenge, I am in a very transitional time of life right now. When I’m looking around my house and I’m thinking about this, it’s like, “Oh, boy.” There’s a lot that will be cleared out and just a lot that will – things to stay. I think it’s really important during the transition.
Then once I move into my next phase, I’m glad to have the awareness around like, “Oh, yeah. What is going to serve me when I move forward?” I definitely appreciate the challenge.
[0:06:47.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It was funny. This morning, Henry, he goes – I was like, “Okay, Henry. Time to go home.” He goes, “You mean, headquarters?”
[0:06:54.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Cute.
[0:06:56.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yes, headquarters.
[0:06:57.6] AMY MOORE: Headquarters. That’s awesome.
[0:06:58.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: He’s a big Paw Patrol fan.
[0:07:01.3] ERIN LINEHAN: That is great.
[0:07:03.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Then my brother-in-law – well, my husband – okay, have you guys ever had a haunted house experience?
[0:07:09.1] ERIN LINEHAN: I went to a cemetery in Edinburgh, Scotland and it was –
[0:07:13.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Was it legit haunted?
[0:07:14.9] ERIN LINEHAN: Legit. Well, this whole thing is that the – supposedly, the story is the spirit was coming out and the caretaker was going in and they – it was this powerful, boof.
[0:07:27.8] AMY MOORE: Wait, who told that story?
[0:07:29.2] ERIN LINEHAN: The ghost telling thing. Then you go into this little enclave thing that’s like, I don’t know in the cemetery. It was the creepiest shit I’ve ever –
[0:07:37.8] AMY MOORE: The hair on the back ear next to that?
[0:07:39.3] ERIN LINEHAN: Oh, this is real. Yes. You can feel someone back there. Yeah.
[0:07:44.1] AMY MOORE: Wait. Why? Why do you ask that?
[0:07:45.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Well, okay. This morning –
[0:07:47.0] AMY MOORE: Slightly off topic. Yeah.
[0:07:48.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: This morning, my husband’s like, he didn’t tell me anything. He’s like, “Here, listen to this. What do you hear?” I was like, I listened and a car went by. It was literally was nothing.
Then he’s like, “No, does it sound like ‘Help me’?” I would listen to it again. It was a recording from my brother-in-law who recorded his sound machine, just a noise maker sound machine. Apparently, he said that was talking to him and it said “Help me.” I was like, “Yeah. No. That sounds like a car going by.”
He made me think of all these haunted house spirit, things like that. We had gone on a trip recently and my neighbor said, “Are you guys home? I hear footsteps.” We’re like, “Oh, shit. No, we’re gone.”
[0:08:38.1] AMY MOORE: That’s creepy.
[0:08:38.8] ERIN LINEHAN: In your house here?
[0:08:39.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. I kept thinking like, “Oh, shit. Is someone in my house?”
[0:08:43.4] AMY MOORE: You have a ghost.
[0:08:44.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Do we have a ghost? Yeah. It just got me thinking about all these haunted house, haunted spirit stuff.
[0:08:50.9] AMY MOORE: Definitely a lot to think about with home and connection to home.
[0:08:55.7] ERIN LINEHAN: Great idea.
[0:08:57.6] AMY MOORE: Here we go. We’re going to come back. We’re coming back. We are coming back.
[0:09:01.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Thanks, Amy.
[0:09:02.7] ERIN LINEHAN: Wow. Well done. Well done.
[0:09:05.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Finding connection to ghosts and haunted houses..
[0:09:08.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Moving forward.
[0:09:10.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Okay. Thanks, Amy.
[0:09:10.3] AMY MOORE: You are so welcome. Everyone can have a little – think about that.
[0:09:15.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Tell us about your haunted houses.
[0:09:19.3] AMY MOORE: Before we go on, we are going to do an awesome review. We’ve got another one. Again, we just want to say thanks so much to everybody who is leaving these reviews.
This is from NatB888. The title is ‘uplifting and relatable and funny’. “Feels like a kitchen table convo with your ride-or-die BFFs. Love the candor around obstacles these ladies have overcome to stay connected to each other. 6 a.m. hangouts, yes, please. Goals!”
[0:09:58.3] ERIN LINEHAN: That’s great.
[0:09:59.1] AMY MOORE: That’s so great. Thank you thank you NatB888. That’s awesome.
[0:10:03.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, thank you so much. So awesome. We love hearing that.
[0:10:08.3] AMY MOORE: Without further ado –
[0:10:09.7] ERIN LINEHAN: Here we go.
[0:10:10.2] AMY MOORE: Here we go. Connection to the Digital World.
[0:10:12.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: There is so much here to talk about.
[0:10:14.5] AMY MOORE: There really is.
[0:10:15.0] ERIN LINEHAN: A lot.
[0:10:16.2] AMY MOORE: So many articles. We’ve found so much information. I feel the ones that I had reviewed, you could almost take a little nugget from every paragraph. We’ll try to be succinct. Maybe.
[0:10:27.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Says these three chatterboxes.
[0:10:31.1] AMY MOORE: Says the ghost hunter, Anna.
[0:10:36.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I’m like, “Whoa.”
[0:10:37.2] AMY MOORE: Exactly.
[0:10:38.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: What? We haven’t gone to haunted houses. This is perfect.
[0:10:42.2] AMY MOORE: We’re coming back. Everybody, ghosts are off the table for the rest of the episode.
[0:10:47.7] ERIN LINEHAN: Generally, love, like, hate, social media?
[0:10:50.3] AMY MOORE: What do you think?
[0:10:50.7] ERIN LINEHAN: Digital world, I guess not just social media.
[0:10:54.1] AMY MOORE: Why don’t you kick it off?
[0:10:55.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Well, I think the – just like you accidentally just said social media, I think the digital world is synonymous with the social media and that’s probably the biggest thing we think of when we think of the digital world.
At least, that’s my biggest interaction with it too. We don’t have a smart home setup currently for our house, but I love all those different pieces that go into that.
[0:11:18.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Can you talk – what is that? How would you define a smart home?
[0:11:21.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, when you walk up and –
[0:11:23.0] AMY MOORE: Nest.
[0:11:24.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, nest which is a thermometer, or what is it?
[0:11:27.2] AMY MOORE: It’s everything; thermostat, doorbell cams, webcams. It’s everything. You can basically regulate and monitor your home from your smartphone, but it’s little devices; you can turn on and off lights, you can change the temperature, you can have a video recording, or –
[0:11:49.3] ERIN LINEHAN: Does that feel cumbersome?
[0:11:51.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Well, I don’t have that, but I really like that idea. Or certain pieces of it. Alexa freaks me out more than Nest or something.
[0:12:01.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Well, because they had – I heard some article, I don’t know. There’s a whole team of people at Amazon that are listening to that, not specifically to – they’re not listening to this conversation, but as a whole, there’s a team of people that are actually listening on Amazon. That’s for real thing.
[0:12:19.0] AMY MOORE: Wait. Alexa though doesn’t record.
[0:12:22.2] ERIN LINEHAN: I don’t know if it doesn’t record, but they’re listening at Amazon to see – that’s why –
[0:12:26.4] AMY MOORE: What people are asking her?
[0:12:28.2] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah. Or what or what people are talking about in the room where Alexa is. That was my understanding of the article.
[0:12:34.1] AMY MOORE: Oh, I hope not.
[0:12:34.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Because you can totally tap into stuff, I’m sure.
[0:12:38.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Well, then why do you get Facebook ads that say whatever the hell you’re talking about.
[0:12:42.9] AMY MOORE: Well, because, but I think though – you can interact –
[0:12:46.0] ERIN LINEHAN: Your phone is doing that too.
[0:12:47.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, the phone is listening.
[0:12:49.2] ERIN LINEHAN: All the time.
[0:12:50.4] AMY MOORE: No, but not like a recording device though. If you interact with the apps –
[0:12:56.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: No, it’s always listening.
[0:12:56.9] ERIN LINEHAN: On Alexa, it’s always listening.
[0:13:01.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, freak you out, right? Okay, and I have –
[0:13:03.0] ERIN LINEHAN: Sweaty pits, Amy?
[0:13:04.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I have to tell you this thing, it happened – okay, so I recently went to –
[0:13:07.1] AMY MOORE: I’m about to have a panic attack.
[0:13:10.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Alexa is up in your shit.
[0:13:12.7] AMY MOORE: I have a lot – I think we have – we have more than one – I think we have three or four Alexas.
[0:13:18.0] ERIN LINEHAN: We have a Google one. I was listening to something on the computer about something – that said something like, something Google and Google responded from the computer to the thing. I was like, “What the hell going on?”
[0:13:32.8] AMY MOORE: That’s crazy. There’s a woman that I know who’s super into – oh, gosh. What’s it called? The waves transmitting through everything?
[0:13:44.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Radio waves?
[0:13:46.0] AMY MOORE: I don’t know. It’s the actual 4G, 5G –
[0:13:50.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: The internet.
[0:13:51.5] AMY MOORE: Yes. All the bluetooth, all the waves that are going through and all the studies around that that are showing –
[0:13:59.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Don’t hold your phone up to your head.
[0:14:00.4] AMY MOORE: All the effects. Right. Even having Wi-Fi in your house, she was saying – I mean, she’s like, disconnected entirely. She only use the old – she uses the old ethernet and really tries to do everything she can not to have those waves going on, because it’s affected her physical body. She’s gotten physically sick.
[0:14:20.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. Have you watched Better Call Saul? The brother of the main guy, the main character has this sensitivity to the waves.
[0:14:28.7] AMY MOORE: Yes, it’s real. Yes.
[0:14:31.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: He has this whole place covered in aluminum foil and stuff. Totally the same.
[0:14:37.3] AMY MOORE: Yeah, exactly. Sad. Okay, so –
[0:14:41.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Okay, really quick about the listening thing. I was in California recently at the Facebook Community Summit. I’m going to talk about this just a little bit more later on in the episode, but they gave us this gift, this Facebook Portal thing.
I was playing music when I was getting ready in the morning and it tried to connect to the Portal to play the music. It was still in the box, to the speaker. I was like, “What the heck?” It’s already listening. Oh, my gosh.
If you go through the terms and conditions, I think it says you’re basically agreeing to that, let them listen in. Then I asked Facebook later on, I’m like, “What the hell was that all about?” Trying to keep it light and trying to decide like, “Do I sell this thing before we take it out of the box or whatever?” She’s like, “Oh, oh, yeah. I think that it was because it was in a hotel and other people had probably taken theirs out.”
I’m like, “I don’t know if I believe that. I want to believe that.” Anyway, it’s sitting on our shelf in our living room right now. We decided to go for it. Yeah, it’s wild.
[0:15:48.9] AMY MOORE: I’m going to do more research about this. I’m going to check in to my Alexas.
[0:15:53.1] ERIN LINEHAN: People can track the same thing as your phone tracks you everywhere if your location is on, so you know –
[0:15:59.7] AMY MOORE: Which has been an amazing thing when it comes to crime. I mean, huge benefits.
[0:16:06.4] ERIN LINEHAN: At least you love the podcast on crimes. Yes, yes.
[0:16:11.3] AMY MOORE: Yes. It’s true though. They can trace, they can find people. Super cool.
[0:16:16.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Then also, I was just thinking about traffic and being able to be like, “Oh, traffic is congested here.”
[0:16:21.4] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s fantastic. That’s awesome.
[0:16:22.5] AMY MOORE: We think that’s interesting when you think about the digital world. Social media is a huge thing, right? Then even just in the last – this tangent, right, has taken us all over the place to Nest, from traffic to –
[0:16:34.5] ERIN LINEHAN: They’re all listening to us.
[0:16:37.1] AMY MOORE: Yes. To they’re all listening to us. I think it’s really – it’s an important thing to think. Maybe, I mean one thing I’m thinking about is like how my connection to the digital world — for me, I do have a lot of apps that I really like and I really love podcasts.
That is a huge – I connect to them and that’s a huge benefit for me. I don’t have a huge connection to social media. In fact, I’m barely on it as some of you maybe have noticed.
[0:17:07.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: We haven’t been able to tag you in anything else.
[0:17:10.6] AMY MOORE: No. Just not really my thing I’m entertaining the idea of coming back on. But who knows? In some ways, it’s almost like, we could think about this in smaller chunks. What is your connection to the digital world? Then under that, there’s so many sub-categories.
[0:17:33.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: The very large world, this whole 5G things that’s happening and this race to get 5G, like whoever controls the 5G is then the person – is then –
[0:17:41.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I don’t know about this race. What –
[0:17:43.1] ERIN LINEHAN: There’s a race that China –
[0:17:44.6] AMY MOORE: Faster. Faster internet.
[0:17:46.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Faster internet and that China is on the ball with that. We are trying to do that. Then whoever helps implement the 5G in whatever countries, so there’s this whole back and forth thing, then there is talk about them that’s who controls power. It’s not about the superpower is now related to technology and digital information, which is fascinating.
[0:18:06.7] AMY MOORE: Crazy, isn’t it?
[0:18:07.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, crazy.
[0:18:08.5] AMY MOORE: Oh, my gosh. So interesting. Erin, did you have – what do you think about your – more of your personal connection with the digital world?
[0:18:18.6] ERIN LINEHAN: I think I have a love-hate relationship with the digital world. I think social media stuff, sometimes I really like it and sometimes I have to take it off my phone, because it just gets too consuming. Sometimes when I feel real anxious, then I find myself just flipping through Instagram pictures. I watch a lot of those dodo videos on animals.
[0:18:39.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Dodo?
[0:18:39.5] ERIN LINEHAN: That’s what I need.
[0:18:41.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: A dodo bird?
[0:18:43.0] ERIN LINEHAN: Well, that’s the company, and so they have tons of animal videos and I just love the cow that’s playing fetch with the person. I can watch that shit all day long. That’s my guilty pleasure where I’m like, “I just need something. Okay.” Do we have otters holding hands, or cows fetching balls? Because that’s what I love. I get real sucked into that, but sometimes I need to just take that.
Actually, I put it on last night. Yeah. I like that. Facebook I sometimes get into and sometimes don’t get into. In terms of I just got a Garmin watch for trail running and I love that thing and I love that it has all the metrics. It helps me –
[0:19:21.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You mean, every time I’ve been seeing you you’re telling me you’re stressed out.
[0:19:26.7] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah. I love it.
[0:19:27.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s the newest outfit. I’m like, “Where is the stress at today?”
[0:19:30.8] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s amazing when you get all these metrics of what’s happening. I listen to Audible and podcasts and so that –
[0:19:37.0] AMY MOORE: Buddhify?
[0:19:38.4] ERIN LINEHAN: I don’t know Buddhify.
[0:19:39.2] AMY MOORE: Oh, I love Buddhify.
[0:19:40.1] ERIN LINEHAN: What is Buddhify?
[0:19:40.9] AMY MOORE: We’ll link to it. It’s meditation. It’s guided meditation.
[0:19:44.8] ERIN LINEHAN: The Calm app and I used to do just Headspace and start all of that.
[0:19:46.9] AMY MOORE: HeartMath.
[0:19:47.2] ERIN LINEHAN: HeartMath, all of that stuff has benefited my life a ton. I just think that you just have to be mindful of it. How about you guys?
[0:19:56.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Actually, I think I got off track, but –
[0:19:59.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Really?
[0:19:59.5] AMY MOORE: No.
[0:20:00.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That’s just how I’m doing today.
[0:20:01.9] ERIN LINEHAN: Shocking.
[0:20:02.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I know. It’s totally out of character for me. I don’t know what’s up today.
[0:20:06.7] AMY MOORE: Anna, what is your relationship with the digital world? A few connections.
[0:20:11.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, you’re ready for me to talk again. All right.
[0:20:13.8] AMY MOORE: Who are you going to call?
[0:20:16.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Generally, I would say I love it. Yeah. Generally.
[0:20:20.8] AMY MOORE: You’re a huge fan and a huge user.
[0:20:23.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, I like it. It works for me and I found ways to make it work for me. I tend to go all-in with things.
[0:20:31.8] AMY MOORE: Yeah. So great.
[0:20:32.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It feels like too much, or when my husband tells me, “You’re on your phone too much.” I say, “Oh hell, no.” Just tell me that.
[0:20:42.4] ERIN LINEHAN: I feel through this whole podcast experience, if you’ve been in touch with our social media with the podcast, I feel I’m very, very lucky to have had – to been alongside you in your process of this social media genius thing, because that is a –
[0:21:00.1] AMY MOORE: Should market that.
[0:21:01.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Super, super good learning for me.
[0:21:03.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You called me your Marketing Mama.
[0:21:07.9] ERIN LINEHAN: My guru. You’re a guru, come on. Yeah.
[0:21:12.1] AMY MOORE: It’s good.
[0:21:13.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I was like, “Little Baby Erin. Come on, I will guide you.”
[0:21:16.2] ERIN LINEHAN: I’m going to show you.
[0:21:18.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: “Here’s why we do it this way.”
[0:21:19.3] ERIN LINEHAN: Yes. It’s been super helpful. Yeah.
[0:21:23.2] AMY MOORE: Well, along that line –
[0:21:24.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: What about you? Do you love it or hate it?
[0:21:26.6] AMY MOORE: I wanted to compartmentalize it.
[0:21:28.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, I see, I see.
[0:21:29.3] AMY MOORE: My take was the social media, no. I mean, I don’t even – I’m not really even on it. I do like Instagram, kind of.
[0:21:38.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Why do you like Instagram, but not – I’m guessing the other one would be Facebook that you don’t prefer.
[0:21:43.0] AMY MOORE: Yeah. Honestly, I got off of Facebook during the election. I was like, “I’m done. This is just not.” I haven’t been on since. It’s not like I was a huge user before. Then Instagram, I like. I like to see pictures of what friends are doing, I guess. Sometimes it also gets to be too much for me.
[0:22:08.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: One of the benefits of Instagram, I think is that you can see things from all over the world. The pictures worth a thousand words idea. You don’t have to know the language to be able to experience these beautiful things.
[0:22:19.9] ERIN LINEHAN: I do like Instagram the best.
[0:22:20.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s pretty cool.
[0:22:21.6] AMY MOORE: Me too.
[0:22:22.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. I don’t want to think –
[0:22:23.7] AMY MOORE: I think the other thing that I like about Instagram is – so have you heard of the Jackalope Art Fair? Do you know the Jackalope Art –
[0:22:29.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: No.
[0:22:31.0] AMY MOORE: Oh, it’s so good. You guys got to go.
[0:22:33.0] ERIN LINEHAN: Is that a local people?
[0:22:34.0] AMY MOORE: Yeah. It’s local artisans.
[0:22:35.2] ERIN LINEHAN: The dry shampoo?
[0:22:36.7] AMY MOORE: Yes, yes, yes. It’s local artisans and it’s basically an indoor giant farmers market, but no vegetables. No it’s not a farmers market.
[0:22:49.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Artisan.
[0:22:49.5] AMY MOORE: It’s an artisan fair, festival. We’ll also link to it. I like it, because – so all of those little companies, they had their little business cards and they all had Instagram feeds and it was just – that was one of the reasons that I do love how businesses can use Instagram.
And then I can follow them. In some ways, it’s just – I’m almost using it as shopping, like a shopping app. Isn’t it weird?
[0:23:18.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I’m sure they’re very happy to hear that.
[0:23:19.3] AMY MOORE: I know.
[0:23:20.5] ERIN LINEHAN: That’s what they want.
[0:23:21.5] AMY MOORE: It’s true.
[0:23:21.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Well, and as a digital creator myself, it’s having social media partly why I like it is because I’m able, as a small business owner, to reach far more people through these platforms and I would be able to do if it was just something local.
[0:23:37.3] AMY MOORE: Maybe that’s my thing is that personally, I don’t like sharing in that form. As a marketer, or as a person who is in sales and marketing and as just a regular consumer, it’s an amazing tool.
[0:23:52.5] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s amazing.
[0:23:53.2] AMY MOORE: Amazing, just for small businesses. It’s incredible. I guess, yeah, love-hate. Also, again, I’m just not a huge user of social media.
[0:24:07.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Cool.
[0:24:08.4] AMY MOORE: There is a really great article that I think is goes right along with this conversation. I’m just going to read this little quote here from The New Tech of Relationships: Three Stories of How our New Alliance with Technology. This was written by Margaret E. Morris and was found in m.nautil.us. Clever.
[0:24:34.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, I think that just means it’s a mobile link, the M.
[0:24:36.8] AMY MOORE: Oh, Nautilus. Oh, Mobile Nautilus.
[0:24:40.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Or just Nautil.
[0:24:41.9] AMY MOORE: No, but see the US. It’s clever. That’s a clever –
[0:24:45.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, yeah. I’m way over right over my head clearly.
[0:24:47.2] AMY MOORE: Here we go.
[0:24:48.8] ERIN LINEHAN: Still over my head. Like what? What?
[0:24:50.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Nautilus.
[0:24:51.6] AMY MOORE: Ready for the quote?
[0:24:53.8] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah, we’re ready. Good job.
[0:24:55.3] AMY MOORE: All right.
“Our relationship to technology and the benefits we reap from it depends on how much we make it our own. This realization has motivated me to contextualize the drumbeat we hear about the perils of technology, particularly social media. Increased isolation, difficulty empathizing and impaired conversational skills. Rather than regarding technology as an external force or temptation that we have to struggle against, I propose thinking about the alliances that we form with technology.”
Then in this article, there were three different ways that they talk about. One is the connected lights, and I thought that was really cool as a story about this couple who lived in the – or had distance. It was a long distance relationship and they had something similar to a Nest cam, or some way of controlling lights in their apartments from their smartphones.
[0:25:51.2] ERIN LINEHAN: [inaudible].
[0:25:53.1] AMY MOORE: No, but that’s how they showed connection, is that the one person would turn on the lights for the other and then vice versa, and so they would connect in that way, which I thought it was really sweet. Then also just talk –
[0:26:02.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: We have a ghost.
[0:26:04.9] ERIN LINEHAN: I don’t know who do it.
[0:26:07.6] AMY MOORE: Yeah. I thought it was sweet. Then the article went on to talk about the importance of light, which then made me think about our last podcast and just how it all goes together.
It was really interesting. Yeah. Then there was the mood phone. This is another way that they were saying you can use technology here.
[0:26:24.6] ERIN LINEHAN: What is the mood phone?
[0:26:26.5] AMY MOORE: Another couple, one guy was having issues. They were two ships sailing in past and not connecting at all. I think it was the guy in the relationship had some app on his phone that was tracking his mood.
[0:26:43.7] ERIN LINEHAN: Oh, moodtracker.com. Sometimes I tell people to use it. It’s real, real helpful.
[0:26:47.5] AMY MOORE: Yeah. I don’t know what the name of it was, but just in the article they said there was a mood app –
[0:26:51.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Right. There’s a bunch of them. Yeah.
[0:26:52.8] AMY MOORE: Yeah. Then that allowed him to open up and have a conversation with his wife, or partner about what he was tracking, or what he was seeing in his patterns of his moods. I don’t know.
I thought that was interesting too, like just thinking about not even necessarily the technology being the thing that connects them, but that it can be used as a tool to then have a conversation.
[0:27:18.3] ERIN LINEHAN: I have my – whenever I’m training for a race, my running coach doesn’t live in the area. We have a Google Doc where I can – she writes in my schedule and then I write in how the workout was. Over that time, she realized – I’d be like, “I don’t know why my energy is so low.”
She said, well, as we’re looking through the doc, it’s because every time I get my period before, then I get really, really tired. She was able to tell through that, but point being that technology is awesome and was totally affecting my mood and my ability to train, because I was so tired. I think that’s a good way.
[0:27:56.9] AMY MOORE: Just the connection. I mean, really if you use it, or if it doesn’t, whatever. Anyway. Again, thinking about the alliances, I guess.
[0:28:06.8] ERIN LINEHAN: Right. Yup.
[0:28:08.0] AMY MOORE: Then the last one was the solar system. Basically, it was a visual representation of connections, which I thought was super interesting. You can –
[0:28:18.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: What is that all about?
[0:28:21.2] AMY MOORE: My understanding is that there was a woman who was –
[0:28:23.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You’re all super interesting and I’m not going to tell you.
[0:28:25.7] AMY MOORE: I know. I’ll give you the link, so you can read about it.
[0:28:30.9] ERIN LINEHAN: Come on, Amy.
[0:28:33.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Come on.
[0:28:34.4] AMY MOORE: There was a woman who was worried about her elderly mother and she was having some guilt around not caring for her the way she wanted to. Then she also had a lot of other people in her life and relationships, kids, friends, partner, whatever it was. She wanted to somehow – what they did is there is an app that basically pulled from her calendar and her e-mail and her phone conversation –
[0:29:05.3] ERIN LINEHAN: The pictures?
[0:29:06.1] AMY MOORE: – Text messages that then they could – and they put it — all of that information, or data was then represented in a solar system, so that the bright star was the person, or the people that she was connecting to the most.
[0:29:24.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, interesting. I’m going to have to read that article.
[0:29:28.7] AMY MOORE: Yeah. It was really interesting. Anyway, she was pleased because that visual representation showed that she actually was really taking good care and showing up for her mom.
[0:29:40.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, that’s cool. That’s really cool. You know what I think about, I wonder – I grew up with a dad that was in the navy and he would do six and nine month cruises and it was all letters.
I really wonder what it’s like for military families nowadays, with FaceTime and with technology being so vastly different than it was when I was a kid. I wonder how my relationship with my dad would be different today and when I was a kid, by having that connection.
[0:30:11.9] AMY MOORE: That’s super interesting.
[0:30:13.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Because it would be like, nine months later, six months later like, “Oh, hi. I’ve been a totally different kid or a person. Who are you?” You have to – get to know each other again. Yeah, I’m really curious about that. It’s allowed my son, where my immediate family right now. We don’t have family around us, so it has really allowed us to give Henry, my son, a relationship with his grandparents that he wouldn’t have otherwise.
[0:30:42.3] AMY MOORE: Yes. FaceTime is huge and my kids and out of town family. Yeah.
[0:30:46.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, it’s been such a gift.
[0:30:49.7] AMY MOORE: Definitely. I guess, that goes into the next question about just what do you see as far as how connection – is it lost, or is it enhanced, or somewhere in between? I mean, I know we just touched on FaceTime and that’s an enhancement.
[0:31:09.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. I mean, I feel one of the challenges that we had at one point that I worked on was my screen time. It’s partly, because I was noticing internally that I was not operating the way I wanted to. I wasn’t showing up in the way I wanted to with those closest to me.
It was like, is the screen serving you or not? Is it a barrier to your connection with those that you’re in a room with? Oh, it bugs me so much when my husband’s on his phone. I mean, I do it too, but I’m like, “Well, I’m working.” The easy justification. I’m not playing freaking Words with Friends, or whatever. I’m working. I feel self-righteous in that. It bugs me so much when other people are on their phones around me.
[0:31:56.5] ERIN LINEHAN: I think with all this connection stuff, I was listening to an interview with Cal Newport, he wrote this book called Digital Minimalism. I think with the connection thing, which I didn’t think about, but it was when we – they talked about how when we switch our attention from one thing to another thing to another thing.
And he was given the example of people are on e-mail and then they’re on Slack and then they’re on text message and they switch their attention, or someone comes in and interrupts, or needs a meeting, or needs something, that it takes however. We lose productivity time, because we’re switching from one thing to the other thing.
In the interview, they were talking about how if you have – it’s basically a superpower focus now. That if you can focus for two hours a day, just two hours a day, that you are way ahead of the game, which is crazy. He has a whole program on digital minimalism, just about how to do that.
He was saying older people that haven’t had social media and digital stuff as part of their lives, have an easier time of – I mean, it’s hard, but then detoxing off of it. Younger people under 20, or millennials have a really hard time because they have no idea what they want to do with their time.
They have no interests or hobbies or whatever because all of it has been online-focused, which I think it’s super fascinating. I just wonder how that’s going to impact the world. Or when they talk about this virtual reality, like everything is going to move to virtual reality.
[0:33:33.1] AMY MOORE: I think that’s crazy.
[0:33:34.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Have you ever done that?
[0:33:35.5] ERIN LINEHAN: No. I’m sure it’s awesome. They had a thing in Alaskan prisons or something where they put virtual reality on the prisoners and it helped them to rehabilitate.
[0:33:46.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: They’re like, “I’m not in jail.”
[0:33:48.3] ERIN LINEHAN: It was great. They could go to wherever while they were in jail and meditate, I think was the whole thing was. It was fascinating. That’s a great way for technology to be used. Then it’s what if – I watched that, what’s that? Two up, or one up, that –
[0:34:02.9] AMY MOORE: I just worry, like everyone’s sitting in their houses with their big VR goggle things on. Yikes.
[0:34:09.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I tried it. Actually again at that Facebook Community Summit. They have a thing of what, I don’t even know the name of it. Yeah, I tried it at the Facebook Community Summit. It was so, so, so disorienting, I had to take it off.
[0:34:25.2] ERIN LINEHAN: Like you have motion sickness?
[0:34:26.4] AMY MOORE: Wobbly?
[0:34:27.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. It made me just not feel good. Maybe it was because it was something new and maybe trying it a second time would be fine, but it was really disorienting.
[0:34:36.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Interesting.
[0:34:36.9] AMY MOORE: Erin, I just want to go back to what you said, because this article it’s called ‘Bored and Lonely? Blame Your Phone’. It is by Sean Illing, I think from vox.com. It was all about a book that someone – Susan J. Matt was a co-author of, but it’s all about how – let me see if I can find the —
So boredom didn’t even exist until the mid-19th century, okay? Then it goes on to talk about how – this is by Susan J. Matt, so she was one of the co-authors. “I think today, we generally call being alone loneliness. Often in the 19th century, people talked about it in terms of solitude. It was generally seen in a more positive, redemptive light.” It goes on to talk about how being alone, or in solitude, how it was positive and also really fed creativity.
[0:35:34.7] ERIN LINEHAN: Then the last seven years that they –
[0:35:36.6] AMY MOORE: That is not happening.
[0:35:39.0] ERIN LINEHAN: That you finally in the first time in history in the last seven years that you can choose not to have any solitude in your entire life, because you can be constantly entertained, which is that part, I do not think is good for people. Yeah.
[0:35:52.1] AMY MOORE: I have another one. This is another quote, same article. “The smartphone represents a pretty dramatic shift in our expectations of companionship and entertainment and a shift in how we respond to feelings, like boredom and loneliness. Because – “
[0:36:08.8] ERIN LINEHAN: You can choose not to.
[0:36:10.8] AMY MOORE: Right, right.
[0:36:11.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Even on my run this morning I was thinking like, “Oh, I’ll listen to something.” Then I was like, “No, I can’t take anything in my brain. I just need to be in the woods by myself. No headphones.
Just with my breath and that I can tell that I’m really maxed out when I cannot listen to anything when I’m running,” because sometimes when I’m running and I listen to a book on tape, or I listen to a podcast, my brain is firing. It’s just tied right now, so it’s not helpful.
I don’t think that people voluntarily take that time to –
[0:36:44.1] AMY MOORE: Turn it off.
[0:36:45.3] ERIN LINEHAN: Well, to just be in solitude. If you hear, like I listen to people that go on these 10-day meditation retreats. There was some author that I can’t remember and he does a 50-day, or a three-month silent meditation retreat.
[0:36:57.3] AMY MOORE: My stepfather-in-law did that. He did 10-day –
[0:36:59.9] ERIN LINEHAN: I totally want to do that.
[0:37:01.2] AMY MOORE: Yeah, you should talk to him about that.
[0:37:03.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Then your creative process gets started, because your brain finally has time to rest.
[0:37:08.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: There’s a book. Actually I got it from the library and it’s called Bored and Brilliant. It’s exactly on this topic. I haven’t had a chance to read it yet, but I’m very excited about it. My little his son, Henry, he started saying, “Mom, I’m bored.” I’ve been trying to reply with, “It’s okay to be bored.” It’s like, “Get all the crayons. Make it fort. Do something.”
[0:37:30.8] ERIN LINEHAN: Because your brain just has time – just to be. The rest –
[0:37:34.1] AMY MOORE: That I think is one of the most beautiful things I just love seeing how my kids can – the gift of play and how it doesn’t – I mean, of course we go through waves of more screen time than other times. In general, they can just play. What a great thing that is.
[0:37:58.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Do they imaginary friends like Nuper?
[0:37:59.7] AMY MOORE: No. No, Nupers in our house.
[0:38:02.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: We don’t have a Nuper either.
[0:38:04.0] AMY MOORE: No Nupers.
[0:38:05.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I’m curious what – we’re at the age, we’re all around 40-ish, where we had the experience of – speaking of children, we had the experience of growing up without this technology. Then now we have it, like I really feel we’re a really cool age to be able to have that experience of very –
[0:38:28.5] ERIN LINEHAN: Plug in phones in the wall?
[0:38:30.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, like –
[0:38:30.7] ERIN LINEHAN: All waiting is a big thing when that happened.
[0:38:32.2] AMY MOORE: How about the first car phones? My dad had one of those.
[0:38:37.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: To see what it used to be like and to see what it’s like now and to be able to have both of those experiences. I feel really lucky to be at that age to experience both and to have the AOL and the first – the world before the internet existed.
[0:38:56.0] ERIN LINEHAN: You’re calling up of the – dialing into them.
[0:38:58.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. Then someone picking up the phone and be like, “Get off. Get off it.”
[0:39:04.7] ERIN LINEHAN: I was talking to my –
[0:39:04.8] AMY MOORE: How about encyclopedias?
[0:39:07.1] ERIN LINEHAN: The Britannica people that would go?
[0:39:08.2] AMY MOORE: Yes. You had to look up for all your papers in school on the encyclopedias.
[0:39:15.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Was talking about how they used to have – what did they used to – the family line, or the group line, where four houses would be connected to the same phone line. I was like, that is –
[0:39:25.0] AMY MOORE: Party line.
[0:39:25.5] ERIN LINEHAN: Party line. Party line. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She’s talking about the party line. It’s crazy. It’s a whole different –
[0:39:31.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s so different. I went to photo school when it first moved out to Colorado, that’s what brought me here. I learned on film and the darkroom. Then when the digital cameras came out, everyone was like, “Oh, no. It’ll never be as good as film.” Just that –
[0:39:49.2] AMY MOORE: I remember that. Yeah.
[0:39:50.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, yeah. Just like this idea that there’s no way digital can compare. I was telling Amy this the other day when we were talking about this episode. I was like, my high school boyfriend, Chad, that’s such a bro name.
[0:40:05.2] ERIN LINEHAN: Chad.
[0:40:07.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: He got into this business and it was this internet thing, this was when internet was still new. It was like, you could order things and I remember thinking, why in the world would anyone order something from the computer when you could just go to the store and get it? I remember being, “Good luck, dude.”
[0:40:31.6] ERIN LINEHAN: She broke up with him. You break up with him over this?
[0:40:33.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: No, not because of that. I just remember thinking like, that’s not going to take off. What? That’s such a silly idea. Now whenever I’m like, “You know what? I could be wrong.” I think about that.
[0:40:46.7] AMY MOORE: Thank you, Chad, for that lesson in life.
[0:40:48.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Thank you, internet.
[0:40:51.5] ERIN LINEHAN: Remember when you used to get emails though when you first got email, how exciting it wasn’t to get emails when you were in college and you would get friends would send you an e-mail? Oh.
[0:41:00.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I remember telling –
[0:41:02.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Or the chats. AOL chat?
[0:41:05.8] AMY MOORE: I didn’t do AOL chat.
[0:41:07.0] ERIN LINEHAN: From my friends in college when we’d be home on breaks. It would be so great. I loved it.
[0:41:11.6] AMY MOORE: Did you have an old flip phone?
[0:41:13.1] ERIN LINEHAN: I did like that.
[0:41:14.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I still have my same phone number that I had from my very first cellphone.
[0:41:18.7] AMY MOORE: Really?
[0:41:19.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Isn’t that crazy?
[0:41:20.0] ERIN LINEHAN: Wow.
[0:41:20.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. I know. I remember telling someone, do not –
[0:41:25.3] AMY MOORE: I had a phone before you could save your phone number. I had a 203 and I don’t think I could save it.
[0:41:32.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, interesting.
[0:41:33.8] ERIN LINEHAN: You couldn’t what?
[0:41:34.7] AMY MOORE: You couldn’t transfer it, I mean. You know how you can you’re your phone number?
[0:41:38.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Oh, yeah.
[0:41:39.5] AMY MOORE: I don’t think that was always the case, was it? I don’t know.
[0:41:43.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I’ve had mine since – the same one since 2000, 1999 or 2000. Isn’t that crazy?
[0:41:49.1] AMY MOORE: That’s crazy. Okay, maybe I just didn’t know you could – I don’t know.
[0:41:53.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I win, Amy.
[0:41:54.5] AMY MOORE: You win. I lose.
[0:41:58.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: No. I remember, it’s not a competition.
[0:42:01.9] AMY MOORE: Okay, good.
[0:42:03.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I remember telling people like, “Don’t text me. There’s no way I’m going to get it. It will be days. Why would people text me? That’s so silly.”
[0:42:12.6] AMY MOORE: Now?
[0:42:13.8] ERIN LINEHAN: Only text.
[0:42:14.9] AMY MOORE: Yeah, now listen to Anna’s voicemail. It says, “Don’t leave me a voicemail.”
[0:42:18.9] ERIN LINEHAN: Actually, I don’t check my voicemail. Oh, it really says that. Oh, okay.
[0:42:24.6] AMY MOORE: Yeah. I love that.
[0:42:25.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I was not kidding.
[0:42:26.3] ERIN LINEHAN: No, you were not kidding.
[0:42:26.3] AMY MOORE: I love that. I love that. There is another interesting quote here from theconversation.com.
“Compared with teenagers in previous decades, iGen teens are less likely to get together with their friends. They’re also less likely to go to parties, go out with friends, ride, date, ride in cars for fun, go to shopping malls, or go to the movies. It’s not because they are spending more time on work, homework, or extracurricular activities, today’s teens hold fewer paid jobs, homework time is either unchanged or down since the 1990s and time spent on extracurricular activities is about the same.”
“Yet, they’re spending less time with their friends in person and by large margins. In the late 1970s, 52% of 12th graders got together with their friends almost every day. By 2017, only 28% did. The drop was especially pronounced after 2010.”
[0:43:24.6] ERIN LINEHAN: I was at a — The Mammoths, is that who the professional lacrosse game team is? In my high stadium, where the Broncos play. We were in the front row, because Chris got work tickets and there was eight high school boys in the front row. Every single one of them in the middle of the game, in the front row were on their phones. It was crazy.
[0:43:44.9] AMY MOORE: At least they were together. Based on that article, that is depressing.
[0:43:51.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Well, and I have a similar experience. We were in Golden, Colorado. There’s Clear Creek that runs through downtown Golden, beautiful area, rafting, whatever, all the Colorado type of things going on there. I was looking around and I was like, “What in the world is happening?”
Literally, every single person we looked at was staring at their phone. It was insane. It was so depressing. Just like, here you are in this gorgeous place and then we were like, “Uh, it’s probably a Pokemon Go thing.” What the heck? What the heck are they looking for this Pokemon thing? I don’t know. It was so weird. It was so like, “What the hell is happening here?”
[0:44:32.3] ERIN LINEHAN: That’s a good question.
[0:44:33.5] AMY MOORE: It is like out of this world. Are we just becoming – are smartphones our next extremity?
[0:44:42.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Cellphones are the BFFs.
[0:44:44.3] AMY MOORE: Then it’s like, everybody’s getting neck problems.
[0:44:47.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Well, did you see that thing?
[0:44:48.5] AMY MOORE: Body problems.
[0:44:49.0] ERIN LINEHAN: Or finger issues. They’re just into it.
[0:44:52.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Did you see that thing? I think, it ended up being proven as a fake news type of thing, but people were getting – it was a picture of people getting horns, like a horn growing on the back of their skull from the radioactive, or whatever, from the cellphones.
Did you see this going around?
[0:45:08.9] ERIN LINEHAN: Is that a joke?
[0:45:09.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. It ended up being disproven. Everybody was like, “Oh, yeah.”
[0:45:12.8] ERIN LINEHAN: I’m like, Anna, that is not real.
[0:45:14.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That’s why they said – no, that’s why they said it was fake news.
[0:45:16.9] ERIN LINEHAN: Oh, I didn’t hear that.
[0:45:18.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, gosh.
[0:45:19.2] ERIN LINEHAN: Okay. Okay.
[0:45:19.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You’re like, “That sounds like BS.” No, no, no. It’s true.
[0:45:23.4] ERIN LINEHAN: I think you’re full of shit, Anna.
[0:45:25.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. It ended up being disproven. I mean, people were like, “Yeah, that totally sounds about right.” I mean, you know. Isn’t it crazy?
[0:45:33.8] AMY MOORE: No. I’m going to put my foot down here, we are not going to grow horns.
[0:45:39.3] ERIN LINEHAN: Look what Anna thought about the internet.
[0:45:42.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I thought that was a really bad idea.
[0:45:44.7] ERIN LINEHAN: Yup. Horns?
[0:45:45.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: There’s no way that’s going to take off.
[0:45:48.0] AMY MOORE: Oh, my gosh.
[0:45:50.9] ERIN LINEHAN: I think it’s interesting, because I was talking about before we started this recording is that I feel digital, the digital world is a lot like food now, because we have to be connected in some ways.
Food you have to eat, but you can do all sort – if you eat too many brownies, that is not good, right? If you don’t eat anything, that is not good either. It feels you have to be somewhat connected and have to – I just wonder how that all –
[0:46:15.3] AMY MOORE: Well, and all the relationships, I think that’s a really good comparison. You think about food addiction, or food programs that help people with issues.
[0:46:26.1] ERIN LINEHAN: There’s a treatment center for online stuff in California, I think now for the first one opened up. Yeah. Yeah.
[0:46:30.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Digital addiction?
[0:46:32.2] AMY MOORE: Yeah, yeah. It’s real.
[0:46:33.3] ERIN LINEHAN: It is real.
[0:46:34.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s super real. I get twitchy, honestly, when I’m like, I left my phone – we went to fireworks and I was like, “Oh, my gosh. I don’t have my phone with me.” I got to go run up and get it. I ended up just being like “It’s fine. Whatever comes through during this time, I’m going to let it go, or whatever till later.”
It ended up being I felt really disoriented not having it, not even for my main excuse of taking photos, but it really made me realize like, “I’m so connected to this device.” It’s like a safety net.
[0:47:09.1] AMY MOORE: I find myself if I am not with my kids, I do not want my phone far at all. Then as soon as I get with my kids I’m like, “Okay, I’ll be good. I can leave it.” If I’m not with them, which is totally – I mean, obviously very attached and maybe helicopter-ish, or whatever.
I don’t care. Frankly, I don’t really care. That’s the truth. If I don’t have my kids with me, then I have my phone on me always.
[0:47:39.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: There’s interesting stuff that comes up with — I read an article about how having just the phone in the room, or on the table in your line of sight changes the conversation, because people are distracted.
[0:47:52.2] AMY MOORE: Oh, I believe that a 100%.
[0:47:55.8] ERIN LINEHAN: Speaking of digital stuff, but on Instagram I follow this guy Gary V. He’s the entrepreneur guy and has all sorts of opinions about lots of things.
[0:48:05.4] AMY MOORE: Some of it interesting and some of it –
[0:48:06.8] ERIN LINEHAN: He has a lot of opinions. He presents a thing where he doesn’t think that digital stuff is an issue at all and that you should just give kids full rein of electronic stuff, because that’s the way the world is going.
[0:48:17.4] AMY MOORE: There’s some unschooling beliefs like that too.
[0:48:19.6] ERIN LINEHAN: What is super interesting, but then also the part that I think is not addressed, or the part that I wonder is because they’re – I wonder about it because I’m a therapist obviously, but the people don’t know how to self-soothe because they always have their phone to go to.
If they’re feeling anxious, or they’re feeling any uncomfortable thing and you go and you get this hit from your phone, I think that the phone – the phone is as addictive as heroin, or crack, or something. I don’t know the study about that, but it’s like, yes, we’re going this way back to the eating comparison, but it’s super interesting that like, I don’t know that there’s a right answer to any of it.
[0:48:58.9] AMY MOORE: Right, but certainly worth being very aware.
[0:49:01.8] ERIN LINEHAN: Very, very mindful of that.
[0:49:03.9] AMY MOORE: Of your how, how we use it, when we use it. Actually, just jumping ahead and this is off topic, but I wonder if the awareness takeaway would be just putting your phone away when you’re having one-on-one, or you’re in conversation.
[0:49:19.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That’d be really good.
[0:49:20.6] ERIN LINEHAN: I think that’s great. I love to not have it when I can.
[0:49:25.3] AMY MOORE: Think about even for coffee, when we have our coffees –
[0:49:29.1] ERIN LINEHAN: I usually leave it in the car.
[0:49:30.3] AMY MOORE: We don’t have our phones. We don’t. It certainly helps with connection.
[0:49:34.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Actually, one time when I was talking about something serious, Anna was –
[0:49:40.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I Shazam.
[0:49:41.8] ERIN LINEHAN: Shazam.
[0:49:42.1] AMY MOORE: We’ve talked about this.
[0:49:43.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah, we did.
[0:49:44.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You looked at me like, “Oh.” I did have it out.
[0:49:50.0] AMY MOORE: The other thing I think to be just with the awareness of how you’re using it is the authenticity piece. Anna, I know you brought this up in Episode 1. Do you want to talk a little bit about how authenticity and coming from an authentic place in using social media is helpful?
[0:50:09.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, totally. For me, the reason part of why I like social media so much, and I can’t think of digital without thinking of social media, but why it’s fun for me is because I really, really strive to show up as my true self in all I do online.
A lot of my businesses, my blog and then wesave.com, it’s all online. I have a spending fast bootcamp, like all these different things that I do that are online, these communities I’ve built have been because I’ve showed up as my true self. That’s my aim.
Any blog post I write or anything like that are very conversational, very true to how I speak in real life. I think that’s why I enjoy it. I always try to end – I always try to think about who’s listening, or who’s reading it and say like, how is this going to benefit them? At the end of the day, I want to hear their tips. I want to hear their feedback.
If you come at it as like, here’s how I can take these conversational tips and modify them to work in an online digital environment, this is how I can make it fulfilling to me. Whereas, if you’re just throwing shit up there and just being like, “Hey, look at how amazing I am.” That doesn’t serve me and –
[0:51:34.1] ERIN LINEHAN: I don’t think that serves anybody.
[0:51:35.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I mean, sometimes honestly, I will throw up a picture where I’m like, “Damn, I look good. I’m looking around. This picture, I was looking good and I’m just going to put this up there because I want to.”
There’s that too, just for fun’s sake. I think not taking it too seriously, taking break from it. Also, I schedule out a lot of my content. Talking about taking breaks and the interruptions that you’re talking about with like, switching gears and all this stuff. I’ve really found that by bulk – doing a lot of my online tasks by different software with — through different software’s, I’m able to be way more intentional about how I am showing up online where it’s more of like, here in this section, I’m going to plan out some content.
Then for a few minutes during the day, I’m going to respond and I’m going to be able to fully show up and answer these questions, or get to know these people a little bit better and that makes it fulfilling to me.
[0:52:35.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Just since starting this podcast and having the Facebook Group stuff, I think that it’s super. I didn’t understand that until we started with this.
[0:52:45.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You didn’t understand.
[0:52:46.3] ERIN LINEHAN: I didn’t understand what is this group, stuff.
[0:52:49.5] AMY MOORE: Oh, because I suggested we have a –
[0:52:51.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Well, because you’re – I’m like, “Okay.” It’s super —
[0:52:54.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I think we need a Facebook group in where all our – where we encourage people to go, to interact and where we can talk to people, because –
[0:53:01.7] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s been fascinating. The interaction has been awesome. I have a new appreciation for that, because it’s been – I like it.
[0:53:11.8] AMY MOORE: There’s another article here about teens being optimistic about technology and its uses. It says, over half, 51% said that during times when they felt lonely, tech provided a solution to their loneliness, such as enabled them to make new friends, receive support and advice, as well as read positive comments online.
[0:53:35.6] ERIN LINEHAN: The question I have for that is that – we’re not teens, so does that just make us old?
[0:53:42.2] AMY MOORE: Right.
[0:53:43.2] ERIN LINEHAN: Because we don’t see necessarily have the – or, I don’t know. I don’t have the same viewpoint as that most of the time. Does that just make me old, like I’m not getting it.
[0:53:54.3] AMY MOORE: Right.
[0:53:55.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You might be. Yeah. Do you ever go on Reddit, for example?
[0:54:00.0] ERIN LINEHAN: No.
[0:54:00.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Okay. I really like Reddit –
[0:54:02.0] AMY MOORE: Yeah, it’s great.
[0:54:03.5] ERIN LINEHAN: Why?
[0:54:05.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s a place where you can get – it’s pretty anonymous. I guess, yeah, it is totally anonymous. I mean, there’s a way to see more about people that’s beside the point.
[0:54:16.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Stalker.
[0:54:18.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: No. No. Yeah, so on Reddit it’s great, because you get to see or read about different people’s experiences and questions that you might want to ask or know more about, but not necessarily have people in your life that are going through that that you know of to ask about these specific things.
[0:54:40.0] AMY MOORE: Do you ever do Quora?
[0:54:42.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I have heard about that one as well and looked into that as well.
[0:54:44.3] ERIN LINEHAN: What is it?
[0:54:44.8] AMY MOORE: Quora.
[0:54:45.5] ERIN LINEHAN: What is that?
[0:54:46.1] AMY MOORE: quora.com.
[0:54:48.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, and there’s another one –
[0:54:49.0] AMY MOORE: You can post questions. It’s a great –
[0:54:52.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You can be anonymous. There’s a group called on Facebook called Wives Anonymous. You can ask questions anonymous and search. It’s really cool to get people’s experiences and see what people have gone through, or what they’re going through, in all of these community forums and see, maybe I’m not going through that right now, but it’s interesting to see what other people’s experiences are.
[0:55:17.2] AMY MOORE: Then people can comment. We’ll post it.
[0:55:22.1] ERIN LINEHAN: I think also think I listened to an interview about the people that created Strava, which is the online originally for cycling, but then now you can – it’s a social media for active people.
I am not super involved with that. Chris has gotten – is starting to dabble in it and it’s just super interesting. They were talking about how people love it, because –
[0:55:43.4] AMY MOORE: Is it accountability stuff?
[0:55:36.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Chris is your husband. You’ve mentioned him now a couple times on this episode.
[0:55:48.2] ERIN LINEHAN: Chris is my husband. Yes. Yeah. Accountability, and they also have challenges and they have – you can connect into a network of people, and so if you go on a ride, or you got a personal best then people can give you feedback, like high fives.
You get a lot of support to keep going, or can comment on a run, or all sorts of different things, or can get you out if you’re struggling. I just don’t think as another.
[0:56:14.4] AMY MOORE: Yeah.
[0:56:15.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah.
[0:56:16.4] AMY MOORE: Great. Technological resource.
[0:56:20.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Speaking of teenagers and tech and stuff, I wonder if teens are cruising anymore, like how they talked about going on a ride or whatever in cars. In Lincoln, Nebraska, we would do this thing cruising O, which is O, was the O Street was the main drag.
[0:56:39.4] ERIN LINEHAN: We did it too. Yeah. It was awesome.
[0:56:43.5] AMY MOORE: We’ve got to get a teen in here. We need their take.
[0:56:49.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Did you ever do cruising?
[0:56:51.6] AMY MOORE: Oh, yeah. I mean, it was a lot of just goof. I mean, who knows what I was up to driving around in cars.
[0:56:59.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Well, yeah. Totally different times. I wonder if people still do that.
[0:57:04.5] AMY MOORE: Well, isn’t there a thing though that driving in it of itself is less appealing, because of Uber and there’s a whole –
[0:57:11.9] ERIN LINEHAN: Shit is crazy to me.
[0:57:13.2] AMY MOORE: Yeah. There’s a whole thing about – oh, where was I reading this? There’s a whole thing about –
[0:57:19.5] ERIN LINEHAN: Kids are just not interested.
[0:57:20.6] AMY MOORE: They’re not interested in driving.
[0:57:23.0] ERIN LINEHAN: I was chomping at the bit to drive.
[0:57:25.2] AMY MOORE: Oh, freedom. Yes. Yeah.
[0:57:28.6] ERIN LINEHAN: I can’t even wrap my head around that.
[0:57:30.2] AMY MOORE: Yeah, yeah. Telling you.
[0:57:33.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I paid $500.
[0:57:34.0] AMY MOORE: We’re old.
[0:57:35.1] ERIN LINEHAN: I’m telling you, that’s what –
[0:57:36.0] AMY MOORE: Comes down to.
[0:57:37.1] ERIN LINEHAN: I’m telling you we’re old.
[0:57:37.5] AMY MOORE: We’re just old. We are. We are.
[0:57:40.5] ERIN LINEHAN: I walked up the hill. All the way to school.
[0:57:44.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yes, exactly. This episode sounds like –
[0:57:46.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Yes, I know. Totally sounds like that.
[0:57:49.7] AMY MOORE: Well, not entirely though.
[0:57:49.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I don’t get this technology.
[0:57:52.6] AMY MOORE: Let’s talk about the smaller groups can be really beneficial. Anna, you’re the expert over here on your – Do you want to talk a little bit about when you went out to Facebook?
[0:58:05.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. I had the opportunity to go to Facebook headquarters in California. It was freaking crazy. San Francisco. Go to the Facebook Community Summit.
Talk about setting a goal. Facebook has a goal that Mark Zuckerberg said and that is to make sure every single human on the planet is connected to a meaningful community on Facebook.
[0:58:30.2] ERIN LINEHAN: When Anna was telling us that in coffee, when she came back, her eyes were big and bright. That’s big goals. I’m going to have big goals. Yeah. We were stoked when –
[0:58:39.7] AMY MOORE: Very inspiring.
[0:58:40.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I was like, “They know how to set a goal. I appreciate that.” I’m like, “Go big.”
[0:58:45.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah. Go big or go home.
[0:58:46.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Really appreciate that. Yeah. I mean, it was just really cool. I mean, there is an interesting article about using Facebook groups as therapy and people that are sharing their deepest secrets on Facebook. There’s a lot of power in Facebook groups.
This is why I knew it had to be something that we did for this podcast, create a Facebook group, because I saw how it has helped actually my Spending Faster’s group that is for my blog. It helps people going through Spending Fast, helps people who are trying to get out of debt. I remember feeling how so much shame and isolation when I was going –
[0:59:27.7] AMY MOORE: Do you want to do just a quick shout out to your website, or where people can find that?
[0:59:31.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, sure. Then wesave.com and then the group that goes along with that is spendingfastersgroup.com. Thanks, Amy. That really is a place for people to go to to feel less alone with their debt. A lot of the listeners of this podcast are members of that group and I’m so thankful that they have – they’re coming over and listening. I feel there is a true kindness in that group.
Every single time I talk about that group, it’s like my heart gets all warm and I just – because it’s super, super important for me to make sure that community is not judgmental, to make sure it’s encouraging and kind and loving.
There’s enough shame that we put on ourselves and that society puts on us for having debt and getting into this mess. I just remember how stupid I felt getting into that situation, that it’s like, this community that I’m building, the culture of it has to be kind. Anyone who does any trolling —
[1:00:35.3] AMY MOORE: It’s great that Facebook allows you to really monitor that and really kick out any bad apples.
[1:00:44.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. I’m like, “Oh, you’re trolling? Bye. No, we’re not having it. We’re not judgmental. Don’t act like you know how to handle a situation way better than someone else when you’re in the group too.”
It’s super important I think to be the example of how the group runs and to truly reinforce that, because in every single community that I build, like with our podcast group, with any, I have a VIP group too for people who want even more help with getting out of debt, with weekly coaching from me and stuff, or weekly contact.
It’s something that I make a concerted effort to make those communities are kind. I feel you have –
[1:01:27.5] AMY MOORE: And safe, it sounds like.
[1:01:28.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, for sure.
[1:01:29.3] AMY MOORE: Which I think is a huge thing with social media. If these smaller groups are safe and secure and kind, then that is a really super powerful tool.
[1:01:41.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Because people will not share what they’re going through if they feel they’re going to be judged. It’s like in real life that happens and it happens online too. I truly feel there is a lot of power in these community groups as this article states of like therapy.
Amy, do you want to read this part here?
[1:02:06.1] AMY MOORE: Yeah. This article is from theatlantic.com and the title is ‘Facebook Emotional Support Groups’. Over the past year, Facebook has been consciously emphasizing groups. Part of an effort per Mark Zuckerberg to, “Give people the power to build community and bring the world closer together.”
These groups cover interests ranging as widely as the human imagination. Facebook has turned into a gathering place for strangers sharing their deepest secrets. Emotional support groups have sprung up around topics broad and narrow.
Diabetes, addiction, egg donation, a specific birth control device now pulled from the US market, parenting children who might grow up to be psychopaths, rare diseases that affect only a few dozen patients in the whole world. The internet has always promised to connect people by common interest, rather than geography. With its 2 billion user base, Facebook is where those connections are often being made. For people searching for support, Facebook is a one-stop shop.
Now that is quite a sales pitch. I just got to say. We are not being sponsored by Facebook.
[1:03:19.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: No. If Facebook wants to sponsor us, we will consider it.
[1:03:25.3] ERIN LINEHAN: I was listening to this on whatever I was listening to, but this dude wanted to get involved, because they have different – when you click that you want to go to this group. He wanted to just go and just expand his social network. He created an app or a Facebook something, where he could just connect into random experiences. When you get the random experience, this is the one that is in the roulette and it pops up for you, then you go to it.
His whole thing was crazy. He went to someone’s – it was a public group, so he went to someone’s house on Christmas Eve for dinner and he went to some weird strip club and he went to – but he was talking about all these stories. Then went to some random gun meaning or something.
Just all these different experiences, and so he was just talking about. Then that was all — he was creating this community. I don’t know where it is now or what it’s called, but he – and all these people –
[1:04:19.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I love that idea.
[1:04:20.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah. Then you end up in all these random places where you definitely wouldn’t necessarily go. Yeah. Just talking about that.
[1:04:26.7] AMY MOORE: That’s so funny.
[1:04:27.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I love that. That’s cool.
[1:04:29.8] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s like, I’m signing up for that.
[1:04:31.3] AMY MOORE: I know. I will find it.
[1:04:32.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I want to sign up. I need a link.
[1:04:34.2] AMY MOORE: The other thing that’s interesting is that we’ve only really talked about Facebook and Instagram, which I think also is an indicator of our age. Because there’s Snapchat. There’s just –
[1:04:44.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I had to watch a freaking tutorial on how to do that. I’m not the target demographic.
[1:04:50.6] AMY MOORE: Again, this is a marker of our age.
[1:04:53.0] ERIN LINEHAN: Spotify, right? If we talk about different ways to connect. Music on Spotify, it’s crazy that you can do a music playlist and then send it back to someone. It’s like, we don’t –
[1:05:02.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s so handy.
[1:05:03.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah, it’s great.
[1:05:04.0] AMY MOORE: You don’t have to burn a CD, or make a mixtape anymore.
[1:05:06.8] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah, right?
[1:05:07.8] AMY MOORE: Let me get my marker and lay some hearts on there.
[1:05:13.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: For Christmas for multiple years in my 20s, I would create Anna’s Mad Mix.
[1:05:20.5] ERIN LINEHAN: Oh, yeah.
[1:05:21.0] AMY MOORE: Yes. Actually, one of my sister-in-law, she always makes mixtape, or she burns them. We do CDs.
[1:05:26.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Still?
[1:05:27.0] AMY MOORE: Yes. Yeah, they’re great.
[1:05:29.5] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah. Found it in her car and she sent me a picture of 2012 is awesome.
[1:05:34.4] AMY MOORE: That’s awesome.
[1:05:35.1] ERIN LINEHAN: She’s like, “Look what I found in my car.”
[1:05:36.8] AMY MOORE: It was great. So fun. Yeah, that’s a great way to connect too. It’s just sharing playlists and music.
[1:05:43.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Or even if you go to – if I go to a yoga class and they’re like, “Oh, I’m on Spotify,” and then you can get their playlist.
[1:05:48.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That’s so cool. I used to be on Pandora and I was like, “What’s this deal with Spotify? It can’t be that much better.” Turns out, it’s really great.
[1:05:55.8] ERIN LINEHAN: It is really great. Yes.
[1:05:57.3] AMY MOORE: All right. With that, let’s talk about our – the nugget, the awareness challenge. What’s it going to be?
[1:06:04.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Nugget. We love nuggets. Okay, I actually think and this isn’t something that we had talked about, but I think that part of it should be turn off your notifications. That has been something that has been so humongous for me.
[1:06:21.1] AMY MOORE: I’ll take that challenge.
[1:06:22.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: To be like, you know what? I don’t want these things popping up and telling me when to like, “Hey, Anna. Pay attention to me.” It’s more of like, now I am choosing to look at this when I want.
[1:06:33.2] AMY MOORE: Yes. I like that.
[1:06:34.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That’s something that’s helped me –
[1:06:35.6] ERIN LINEHAN: I do keep the Headspace notification up, because I like the little mindfulness and thing that they tell me.
[1:06:41.6] AMY MOORE: Oh, my gosh. I’m totally taking that challenge. Thank you.
[1:06:44.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah.
[1:06:44.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s so good to just be – the intention like, I’m setting this a time aside to do this.
[1:06:51.5] AMY MOORE: That’s good.
[1:06:52.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: What was the one that you brought up earlier?
[1:06:54.4] AMY MOORE: Just in conversation, put the phone away.
[1:06:56.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: When you’re in-person?
[1:06:58.2] AMY MOORE: Yeah. Yeah. I guess, I think about our coffee, or if out to dinner with my brother, whatever. I think just for basic connection. Eye contact, the whole deal. If you don’t have the distraction of the phone, it’s just a deeper connection.
[1:07:17.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, that’s a really good one.
[1:07:19.2] AMY MOORE: It’s simple, but it’s also really not a given. How many times are you sitting with someone and they have their phone?
[1:07:29.5] ERIN LINEHAN: Yup.
[1:07:30.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Well, it really pauses the conversation. It’s like, well I have to wait for them to deal with whatever’s on their phone. It’s like, “All right, I’m not as important as that.”
[1:07:42.9] AMY MOORE: Yes.
[1:07:44.0] ERIN LINEHAN: Absolutely.
[1:07:44.4] AMY MOORE: Exactly.
[1:07:45.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Even if it’s so accepted, the reality is they’re choosing that over me right now.
[1:07:52.6] AMY MOORE: Two good nuggets. All right. Then I think that wraps up our show. Don’t forget, go to lessalonepodcast.com to access the show notes, links and resources from this episode.
Also, use the discount code ‘lessalonepodcast’ for 20% off your first month at weeditpodcasts.com. Thanks everybody.
[1:08:15.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Bye.
[1:08:15.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Thank you.
[1:08:16.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Bye.
[1:08:17.2] ERIN LINEHAN: Bye.
[END OF EPISODE]
[1:08:21.2] AMY MOORE: Thanks for listening. You can find more about this episode and a way to connect to the community at lessalonepodcast.com. If you like us, don’t forget to subscribe and be sure to leave a review. It helps other people find us and could be just what they need.