Episode 7: This Feels Like Home

brine brown ted talk connection loneliness podcasts

SHOW NOTES

Take off your shoes, undo the ol’ bra, sprawl out on the bed, let your guard down, be the most honest version of yourself and fart freely! This episode we’re talking about the connection to home! We share tips for creating a cozy home, decluttering your physical and emotional space and understanding the relationship we have with our environment. We also have a special in-studio guest, Amy’s dog, Dory! This is an episode you don’t want to miss! 

Key Points From This Episode:

  • How to step out of cycle (and trick!) of living up to society’s expectations of balancing motherhood and career 
  • How with children (and all relationships!) quality matters more than quantity
  • Revelations around the Inner Critic, how it can steal joy and hold you back
  • Learning to enjoy the process rather than on waiting for a result or conclusion
  • The value of being real, imperfect, and doing it anyway
  • The importance of being direct in communication 
  • Our associations and connections to “home” 
  • Home as an extension of ourselves 
  • Rituals on how we turn houses into homes 
  • Thoughts on clutter and re-gifting
  • How physical decluttering can help with emotional decluttering
  • The emotional connection to material objects 
  • Anna’s super helpful How to be Fearless Minimalist in a Cluttered World Guide
  • A practical call-in laundry tip! 
  • And much more! 

Links and Resources Referenced in this Episode:

Intro and Outro Music Credit: Night Owl by Broke for Free from the Album Directionless EP (Creative Commons License)

We’ve teamed up with We Edit Podcasts to have them edit our podcast. We have been thrilled with them! Use this referral link and the code lessalonepodcast for 20% off your first month! 

P.S. Be sure to Rate, Review and Subscribe to the podcast in your favorite podcast player! 

TRANSCRIPT…

LESS ALONE: A PODCAST ABOUT CONNECTION TRANSCRIPT 

COPYRIGHT 2019 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

[INTRODUCTION]

[0:00:01.5] AMY MOORE: We are three friends exploring connection. From the coffee shop to the podcast studio. I’m Amy.

[0:00:06.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I’m Anna. (Get out debt, budget expert

[0:00:06.7] ERIN LINEHAN: I’m Erin. (EMDR and energy work therapist in Colorado)

[EPISODE]

[0:00:14.7] AMY MOORE: Hey, hey. We’re back.

[0:00:18.9] ERIN LINEHAN: Hey, all.

[0:00:20.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Hey.

[0:00:21.7] AMY MOORE: Back for episode 7.

[0:00:23.7] ERIN LINEHAN: Holy cow.

[0:00:24.8] AMY MOORE: What are we talking about today, ladies?

[0:00:26.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: We are talking about the connection to home. Yeah.

[0:00:31.0] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s a good one.

[0:00:32.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. Super good one. How did your awareness nugget go?

[0:00:37.3] AMY MOORE: Wait. Can I just say that’s why I have my dog in the studio?

[0:00:40.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: What?

[0:00:41.1] AMY MOORE: Because it’s the connection to home.

[0:00:42.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, yeah. Home is where the heart lies.

[0:00:44.8] AMY MOORE: It’s perfect that the dog is here today.

[0:00:46.6] ERIN LINEHAN: It is perfect that the dog’s here today.

[0:00:50.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, so it was really hard thinking about the last episode and all that I shared It felt really vulnerable. I am so used to when I do attempt something that I do it a 110%. I end up really doing it great, or I don’t and I learned something from it. It was really hard to admit that in this area that is so meaningful to me, that I might not be excelling at it at the level I want to. I actually thought maybe we should talk about deleting that part. I was like, “Well, you know what? If I’m feeling that way, I can’t be the only one feeling that way.” 

I thought, “Well, maybe it should be in there just so other people don’t feel alone in this.” That’s the whole idea of a podcast, to share these things so that people don’t feel alone in these things. As hard as it was to share it and as much as I had a vulnerability hangover the day of that we recorded, and the next day at least, I felt it was important that we keep it in there, so that other people who feel that way know that they’re not alone in that. What I had to do is go through and say, write out exactly what I do to be a good mom.

[0:02:06.3] AMY MOORE: That’s a good idea.

[0:02:07.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That I could have concrete examples of how I’m doing this mothering thing, what I’m doing that’s working, what I’m doing that’s not working. Work for me is really, it’s a safe place because I can be – I’m really good at it and I started thinking about like, I like to do things that I’m good at. That’s something I’m good at.

The mothering thing is a lot harder, way harder. My husband stays home with our son two days and it’s – I think he has a way harder time than I do when he’s a stay-at-home dad. I had to write these things out. I work and I’ll just say I’m really quick at the things that I do that have helped and that make I feel I’m being a good mom when I’m in this place of really focusing on my career too.

Eye contact whenever – and I get down on his level. He’s a five-and-a-half-year-old boy. Then when he says like, “Oh, I want to tell you something,” I always, always respond with, “You can tell me anything.”

[0:03:08.2] AMY MOORE: That’s awesome.

[0:03:09.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: He ends up coming to me for a lot of things. A lot of ways, I feel we connect on a deeper level. I always want to make sure it’s safe for him to have his emotions and his feelings. I just had to – I wanted to really share the things that are working for me, and also making sure that I’m giving him undivided attention and that I’m setting aside time each day to do an activity that I’m not dreading. It’s not like, “Oh, my gosh. We have to play Legos, or something painful.”

[0:03:43.3] ERIN LINEHAN: Monopoly?

[0:03:44.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. It’s like, okay let’s play Jenga, or whatever. Let’s play catch, or something that I enjoy too. It can be an activity that we both enjoy. Having that undivided time that I’m focusing on him, that’s something that makes me feel a good mom and stuff.

[0:04:01.9] AMY MOORE: Well, and quality over quantity. I mean, it’s you could do a whole bunch of things with him all the time, but if you’re not super present, but it probably means so much to him when you are so present with the time that you do have with him.

[0:04:15.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, for sure. Yeah. That’s where I was at with it; total vulnerability hangover though.

[0:04:20.4] ERIN LINEHAN: That’s great.

[0:04:21.2] AMY MOORE: That’s awesome. Thanks, Anna.

[0:04:23.0] ERIN LINEHAN: I think for me, I had a vulnerability hangover as well. I think –

[0:04:27.9] AMY MOORE: From the last episode?

[0:04:28.9] ERIN LINEHAN: From the last episode. Yeah. The nuggets that I took away, because I thought a lot about that, because I was trying to figure out why I felt why – what was unsettling about the episode. I think because worthiness stuff tied with work is so – I have to constantly monitor that. When I’m processing through work type of things, like therapy type of things, it’s easy for me because that’s what I do all the time. When I’m talking about my connection to being good and that’s tied to my worthiness, I have to watch that. It just felt real, real vulnerable afterwards.

[0:05:02.7] AMY MOORE: Being good at something.

[0:05:04.5] ERIN LINEHAN: Being good at something. When I am grasping for my worthiness outside of myself and being good, then that validates my – I feel it validates my internals and that’s always, always, always a trap for me when I get caught in that pattern. If I do this, then I’ll feel good about myself. If I accomplish this, then I’ll feel good about myself. Really, that’s not how it works.

For a long time, that whole critical voice that dominates the internal landscape a lot of times of high achievers is if you’re really hard on yourself and you get on your own ass about things, that you need that voice in order to achieve. I thought that for a really long time. What actually happened is when I worked through that and looked at it, it was the nurturing part of myself, like the ability to nurture things and calm and come for myself is the thing that has actually propelled me forward. The critical voice was the thing that got in the way. Yes. I was terrified to let that go, because if I let that go then I’m like, I’m not going to be able to get anything done.

[0:06:06.1] AMY MOORE: Is that inner child work stuff?

[0:06:09.5] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because I think that the critical voice comes from somewhere. Depending on where it comes for whoever.

[0:06:16.5] AMY MOORE: Even the nurturing stuff.

[0:06:17.9] ERIN LINEHAN: The nurturing part and so for a long time, I didn’t really know how to nurture myself. I thought when I was doing work around this, I thought that critical voice, I call it my Frida part, because it’s like as Frida Kahlo, because she’s a badass. I thought that was who I am. Then I did this exercise where I move that part aside and it was probably one of the most vulnerable I’ve ever felt in my entire life when that happened. That critical voice is that yeah, it’s just whenever I am functioning from a nurturing place, then instead of a critical place where all that worthiness is tied to outside myself, then I have a lot more joy in my life.

I was also thinking, I went to yoga this week and I was also objectively thinking about that I’m absolutely average at yoga. Then I was thinking how ridiculous it is for me to evaluate myself in yoga, because that does me no good. Why is it ridiculous to evaluate myself in yoga and not ridiculous to evaluate myself as a business owner, or a therapist, or a stepmom, or whatever things are. Why is that happening?

[0:07:19.4] AMY MOORE: Why evaluate it period?

[0:07:21.3] ERIN LINEHAN: Yes. Whenever I’m in a good place, then showing up is the thing that’s important, not how good or bad I am at something. It’s really connecting in. Because when I go to yoga, that’s for me to connect into myself, that’s for me to connect in the spirit, that’s for me to connect into that community, rather than – and it is the process of doing it and showing up and engaging, rather than what I get out of this. 

I think last time, I’m so focused on the process is because when I focus on the outcome, then that’s an external measure of my success, when really for me internal and my own worthiness when I show up, then I feel solid and then that’s when I feel successful. I really find joy in the process, but if I don’t do that then it’s this terrible trap that I get in.

I think to readdress the average and the mediocre, a mediocre from me is half-assing it. The average is I can be average in objective performance, right? If I fully show up and I’m engaging wholeheartedly, then it feels fine. This episode made me – all of them do, but this particularly made me think a lot afterwards. Yeah.

[0:08:33.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, for sure. It’s the amount of effort that equals – if that’s considered your best, or not. How your –

[0:08:42.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Yes. Okay. This podcast I think has helped me to really enjoy the process, because this is for the whole purpose of just doing the podcast.

[0:08:51.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. It’s really for fun.

[0:08:54.3] ERIN LINEHAN: There’s no outcome with it and it’s just like doing it. Then how do I enjoy this process, because we’re not arriving anywhere. We’re just doing it because we want to do it? It’s good practice. It’s just good practice. That’s actually what’s cemented that thing in my head like, “Oh, we’re just doing this to do this.”

[0:09:15.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I have to say it’s very nice to do something just for the fun of it.

[0:09:20.2] ERIN LINEHAN: I agree.

[0:09:21.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: To not do it with – part of me is like, “Oh, maybe we’ll go on tour. Maybe we’ll have a lot of chill.” The achieve part of me. The reality is it’s super fun to just do it, just out of a fun thing to hang out with you two more.

[0:09:36.7] AMY MOORE: Absolutely.

[0:09:38.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It is fun just to do it and do it imperfectly. Speaking of imperfect, our episode one that we talked about not – I found out over the weekend, or I found out recently that my husband tells people, “Do not listen to episode 1.” I’m like, “Oh, God.”

[0:09:58.2] AMY MOORE: Maybe that’s because of the spoons.

[0:10:01.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, the spoons, the duration, that whole thing. Yeah, so it’s like, we had talked about it’s not good enough. It’s interesting thinking back about that. It’s like, well, you know what? We decided ultimately that there’s a lot of power in putting it out there and imperfectly in just doing it and going for and taking that first step, in saying, “You know what? It’s not necessarily good and that’s okay.”

[0:10:25.9] AMY MOORE: I think about that for both of you in what you shared last episode though. Then experiencing this vulnerability hangover and it’s like, that’s inspiring to me, because I do feel you did just put it out there. Then the nice thing is that we have an episode that we can do to then follow up and say what you need to say, but good for both of you.

[0:10:50.8] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s amazing to me, even when doing the episodes, I know that I can go back and edit anything that I don’t like right? The thought of when it’s going on in my head where I’m like, “Oh, my God. What did I say?” I don’t even know what I said. How did this sound? The vulnerability in that and then I’m like, “Okay, I wasn’t that big of an idiot.” When I’m doing it –

[0:11:09.7] AMY MOORE: I have that with every episode, “Oh, why did I say this stuff?”

[0:11:13.8] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah, totally. It’s great practice to really just own whatever you say. This has been good in a lot of ways.

[0:11:23.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I mean, I think it’s also cool that we all ask a higher purpose, a higher being to work through us when we deliver this podcast and to say what we need to say. I think it takes some pressure off in a lot of ways to be like, “You know what? Let me be you the voice of what I need to deliver.” With my book and what you do with your clients, it’s at the end of the day, this podcast I hope it helps people and I hope people get value out of it. That’s the goal. I hope we have fun with it.

[0:11:59.8] ERIN LINEHAN: Ultimately, we got to say what we need to say and then let that go.

[0:12:03.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. It’s like, if we’re too concerned about coming off a certain way, or looking a certain way, then we’re not going to be able to be real and vulnerable and connect with people the way that we want. The way that we show up for coffee every Wednesday is in that way. I think there’s a lot of power in saying, “You know what? This is who I am.”

[0:12:23.8] AMY MOORE: I had this really great daily reader recently about directness. Can I read it quick?

[0:12:30.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Please do.

[0:12:31.0] ERIN LINEHAN: Sure.

[0:12:32.2] AMY MOORE: It is right in-line with what we’re talking about. I took a picture of it, because it’s called directness and it says –

[0:12:41.7] ERIN LINEHAN: Speaking my language.

[0:12:42.8] AMY MOORE: Yeah. “So much of our communication can reflect our need to control. We say what we think others want to hear. We try to keep others from getting angry, feeling afraid, going away, or disliking us, but our need to control traps us into feeling like victims and martyrs. Freedom is just a few words away. Those words are our truths. We can say what we need to say. We can gently, but assertively speak our mind. Let go of your need to control. We do not need to be judgmental, tactless, blaming or cruel when we speak our truths. Neither do we need to hide our light. Let go and freely be who you are.” (Directness by Melody Beattie

[0:13:24.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: So good.

[0:13:25.5] AMY MOORE: We can keep it in there now, but I – I thought it was a good –

[0:13:28.7] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s good. Yes.

[0:13:31.3] AMY MOORE: It’s from July 3rd.

[0:13:35.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s so good.

[0:13:35.8] AMY MOORE: Isn’t it?

[0:13:37.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It reminds me of the whole thing of show up as who you are. Then people will like it or not. You’ll draw people towards you and the right people will be your friends and the wrong people will be – it’s like that we –

[0:13:51.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Attract and repel.

[0:13:53.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, attract and repel. There’s a meme that is like, the sun doesn’t give a damn if it blinds you. Be the sun.

[0:14:02.0] AMY MOORE: Yeah, that’s great.

[0:14:03.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Shine.

[0:14:05.3] ERIN LINEHAN: Practice doing that, it’s hard. I have noticed this, I think –

[0:14:09.5] AMY MOORE: So hard.

[0:14:10.2] ERIN LINEHAN: Since we started this podcast, actually my muscles in my neck where you control things have been so – my neck has been super, super sore since we started, because I think that’s where I carry my tension. This is just a practice. When I get massages (Denver massage therapy) that she has to work on my neck, specifically these side muscles because I think that’s what I’m trying to do. Even though I just put it out there, but it feels like clenching the whole time, because it is – this is a huge growth.

[0:14:39.7] AMY MOORE: Huge.

[0:14:41.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I can’t even. It’s so, yeah. So big. So good.

[0:14:45.9] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s terrifying and beautiful all the same time. All the same time. All right, so home.

[0:14:51.4] AMY MOORE: Home.

[0:14:53.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, wait. Listener reviews.

[0:14:55.2] AMY MOORE: Oh, we cannot forget. These are so good.

[0:14:58.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I printed out one. Then we had another one come in and I actually had to text it to Amy and Erin, because –

[0:15:04.2] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s so good.

[0:15:05.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: On my word. It’s literally the best thing ever to see your reviews. It helps us so much. When you share the podcast, when you tell your friends about it, when you bring it up in conversation, any of those things helps us help more people feel less alone, and so we appreciate it so much.

[0:15:23.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Also give alternate perspectives about what you’re actually getting out of the podcast and things that we might not have thought about because I’m like, “Oh, that is a great point.” Yeah.

[0:15:32.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Well, especially in the Less Alone Facebook group. Lessalonepodcastgroup.com, you can find the group. There’s a ton of great conversations about the takeaways and –

[0:15:43.2] AMY MOORE: That’s so great.

[0:15:44.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: We get to hear feedback about things like, “Oh, my gosh. What?”

[0:15:47.4] ERIN LINEHAN: That’s so interesting. It’s really interesting, because it’s like, we’re just talking into – we know that people are out there, but we’re just talking into the abyss. Then when you’re like, “Oh, this is what I got out of it,” or it’s just so –

[0:15:58.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: So cool. Yeah, and it’s something that was brought up recently in the group with something that an angle and we’ll bring it up. We’ll talk about it more. I mean, it’s at another time.

[0:16:10.6] AMY MOORE: Cliff hanger.

[0:16:14.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Keeping you on. That was –

[0:16:15.4] AMY MOORE: Edge of your seat.

[0:16:16.2] ERIN LINEHAN: Oh, boy. What’s it going to be?

[0:16:17.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, my. Oh my.

[0:16:20.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Stay tuned…

[0:16:21.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. We will talk about it. It is so good. You keep your – you stay tuned.

[0:16:26.6] ERIN LINEHAN: You keep listening.

[0:16:27.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You keep listening. Yeah.

[0:16:28.9] AMY MOORE: In the meantime.

[0:16:29.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: In the meantime.

[0:16:30.5] AMY MOORE: I’m going to read these reviews.

[0:16:32.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Reign that shit in.

[0:16:33.1] AMY MOORE: Here we go. Number one is from RS555. Says, “I’m into it.” Five stars. “From the from the outset, I’ve enjoyed listening to this podcast. The hosts seem to truly enjoy one another’s company, which engages me as a listener. The platforms are polished and intriguing and the content is spot-on. You can tell these ladies have all done their work and have a lot to offer.”

[0:17:03.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: So cool.

[0:17:03.8] AMY MOORE: Thanks RS555.

[0:17:06.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: We do enjoy each other.

[0:17:07.6] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s true.

[0:17:09.6] AMY MOORE: That’s awesome. Then the second one is from McMarck. Title is, ‘The Perfect Podcast!’ “I feel this is the podcast I didn’t know I needed. I work from home and I often feel so isolated. Now I’m feeling pumped to actively seek more connections in my community, in person and online.”

[0:17:36.9] ERIN LINEHAN: Oh, high-five.

[0:17:37.9] AMY MOORE: Awesome.

[0:17:38.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Cool.

[0:17:39.4] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s great. Thank you.

[0:17:40.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. You know what I’m curious about what people are doing when they’re listening to the podcast, speaking of this review in particular, she said she’s working from home, like tell us –

[0:17:49.6] AMY MOORE: Or he.

[0:17:50.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Or he. Yeah, it could be a he. Tell us what you’re doing, share screenshots, let us know what you’re doing when you’re listening, because it would be so cool to know. Are you curious at all?

[0:18:02.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Yes, absolutely.

[0:18:02.8] AMY MOORE: Yeah, totally.

[0:18:04.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Okay, I listen to podcasts when I run and in my car.

[0:18:06.9] AMY MOORE: Driving. Yeah, driving, walking.

[0:18:10.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. I used to listen to mostly when I was walking. That’s yeah.

[0:18:14.4] AMY MOORE: Thank you. Keep them coming, everybody.

[0:18:15.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, keep them coming.

[0:18:17.1] AMY MOORE: That is awesome. Erin, you want to talk about your connection to home?

[0:18:20.0] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah. I was doing research for this. That I think home, I initially thought of that it’s a home that I grew up in, right? Because I’ve only lived in one house my entire 18, first 18 years. To me, home will be this iconic place of like, “Oh, I grew up in Pennsylvania and it’s this thing.” For me, I went back to visit – I grew up in State College, and so Pennsylvania.

[0:18:45.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Is that a city?

[0:18:46.8] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s a city. Yeah. It’s where Penn State is, if people get confused at all. When I went home after seven years, everything was the same and everything was different. It was strange to see it from an adult perspective, but it was just – I think, but that’s always what home be. It was like, “Oh, I haven’t been here forever,” but it just feels so comfortable in my DNA. Dory’s breathing’s real heavy.

[0:19:14.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: She’s feeling the heat in here.

[0:19:17.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Right. For you all, what is home when you first thought about that? What is that for you?

[0:19:23.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I thought about the home that I grew up in. I thought about the ditch that we played in, sounds so hillbilly.

[0:19:32.0] ERIN LINEHAN: That’s right.

[0:19:33.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I thought about how when my little sister went to go visit, she said that the hill that we used to call it ‘The Hill’, it was literally like, she sent a picture and it’s not big at all.

[0:19:46.6] ERIN LINEHAN: I know, right?

[0:19:47.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I was like, “What?” That’s not –

[0:19:50.2] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah. That was our sled hill?

[0:19:52.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That’s literally not a hill at all. It’s a slight incline. I’m like, “No, that’s not it.”

[0:19:59.6] AMY MOORE: That’s funny how that –

[0:20:00.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Everything seems so much bigger when you’re a kid. I always just want to – every once in a while, I’ll Google Maps it just to see what it’s look like. Just having those impressions in my head of like, “Okay, this was my home for so long and thinking of we slid down this carpeted stairs,” and all the experiences that I had. Yeah, definitely imprinted for sure. How about you, Amy?

[0:20:27.3] AMY MOORE: I’m just thinking about home, thinking about how many – let’s see, I moved five different houses from birth to –

[0:20:37.3] ERIN LINEHAN: 18?

[0:20:38.0] AMY MOORE: 18. Yeah. I feel I have a few solid memories. I guess we always had the family cabin in Wisconsin. That definitely is a part of, but we lived there for a while too. That has a, I don’t know, a feeling of familiarity more than anything. Yeah, when I think of home, I really don’t think about a particular building, or a particular place I’ve lived. I really think a lot about people. Home is what? Honestly, sounds so weird, but I think a lot about plants.

[0:21:23.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Really.

[0:21:24.1] ERIN LINEHAN: They do make a house – they do. Yeah.

[0:21:25.9] AMY MOORE: I have a ton of plants and I always – it is a huge part of my home, especially in the last, I don’t know. I mean, my mom always had a lot of plans at home.

[0:21:36.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, they really change the vibe of a place.

[0:21:39.1] AMY MOORE: They really do. In the last, probably five, six years, I’ve had a lot of plants, like more and more and more.

[0:21:45.2] ERIN LINEHAN: Can I say a story about that?

[0:21:46.3] AMY MOORE: Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[0:21:46.9] ERIN LINEHAN: We were in Moab sometime in May and there was a sprinter van that people had decked out, so there was a bed, there’s a shower and a bathroom and there was this couple. Then I looked above the door and there was a plant. I was like, “Oh, you have a plant in here.” They were like, “Oh, because we want him to make it more homey.” The plant –

[0:22:03.1] AMY MOORE: I love that.

[0:22:04.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Okay. Home too for me is sanctuary. It feels an extension of myself. It feels like a place of respite. When I go home in the evening, I need it to be calm and warm and inviting. It’s super helpful when my dog meets me at the door, right? It just needs to be plants help, the people and the relationships in the home help. It’s just this overall feeling. I was curious about the energetic imprint of home. I don’t know if it’s actually has to be a building, right? What is that energetic imprint? What does that viscerally feel like?

For me, it feels calm and grounded and centered. Things are just stable and steady. If I feel that, I can bring that feeling with me. I’m curious about for you two, what you feel the energetic imprint.

[0:23:00.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Well, for me home feels the place where you can fart freely. Let’s be real. Where you don’t have the stomach aches, or like, “Oh, God.”

[0:23:12.8] ERIN LINEHAN: Better out than in. Yeah.

[0:23:15.0] AMY MOORE: That’s right. That’s right.

[0:23:15.9] ERIN LINEHAN: My motto.

[0:23:16.6] AMY MOORE: That’s right. Yeah.

[0:23:18.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Really, where you’re the ultimate comfort and not having a stomachache from holding a fart in. Not that I fart.

[0:23:26.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah. She does a lot.

[0:23:29.2] AMY MOORE: Well, I think it’s really telling when things are not stable and not good at home and how that can affect every other part of that.

[0:23:37.8] ERIN LINEHAN: Everything.

[0:23:40.5] AMY MOORE: It’s really hard for me to feel grounded when things are not stable. Because when I think of home, or my ideal home, it’s tranquility, it’s cleanliness, its simplicity and a whole lot of love and life. I think that’s one of the things with the plants for me is just life and love and boy, when that is off, it has big effects in everyday.

[0:24:14.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: For sure.

[0:24:14.8] ERIN LINEHAN: I think that’s a true story.

[0:24:16.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I noticed going – for me, home is really about comfort and that’s something I associate it with sleep in a lot of ways, and making sure I’m getting plenty of sleep and that the conditions are perfect for sleeping. If I’m not getting enough sleep, it’s usually because I’m staying awake thinking about things, or something’s unsettled, or something’s off. For me, home is the ultimate comfort really. A place like you said, the sanctuary and the respite.

I saw a home on a home tour and it was my soulmate home. It had so many plants in it and it had so much – it was a ton of light. It almost felt like a tree house, but not. It was just something about it. It was like, “This is my house. I need to live here. It’s amazing.” Oh, my gosh. It’s something I can’t even explain. 

[0:25:16.7] ERIN LINEHAN: I think a good outdoor space too makes a difference in a home.

[0:25:20.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. I really want a fire pit.

[0:25:23.2] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah. Yeah.

[0:25:24.9] AMY MOORE:  Oh, yeah.

[0:25:25.7] ERIN LINEHAN: What about a fire pit?

[0:25:26.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I like how they smell. That campfire smell. Every time I go to the mountains and they have the pits going it’s like, “Oh.” So good.

[0:25:38.2] AMY MOORE: Good fire. I like the fireplace in the winter, or just anytime, even in the rainstorms in the summer.

[0:25:45.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Well, and it’s interesting, just thinking off the cuff here, about when we were looking for a home to buy, it was certain homes I knew right away. Yes, this. Or, no.

[0:25:57.3] ERIN LINEHAN: I think that’s that energetic imprint about what feels right for you. Yeah.

[0:26:01.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. It’s being connected to that internal feeling of what is that? Why does this feel right? Why does this feel wrong? Actually, the place we’re in now, I got tears in my eyes when I saw it. I was like, “This is it. This is it.” Yeah, it’s definitely a gut feeling.

[0:26:20.5] ERIN LINEHAN: I think sometimes too when thinking about this and researching, that sometimes home feels – can feel ambiguous and it’s hard to define. Even there wasn’t a ton of non-real estate articles on home people talking about that, and I don’t know if it’s just not a thing that people talk about, but –

[0:26:39.7] AMY MOORE: Connecting to a home?

[0:26:41.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Connecting to home, and maybe I didn’t have the right search terms, but there was just not a ton about without moving to houses. Because I think house and home are very – can be very different things. Yeah.

[0:26:55.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Home is more of the feeling and then the house is the actual building.

[0:27:01.9] ERIN LINEHAN: There’s an article by Frank T. McAndrew. He has a PhD. Put the show notes and the link. Anna, just give me – sometimes I read things monotone and with not the energy that I need to. Anna just gave me the, “Erin, you need to be more excited” look. I’m going to do this well here, people. Right, I’m good.

[0:27:23.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I think not – it’s nothing like you hate the article –

[0:27:25.8] ERIN LINEHAN: I don’t hate the article. Just, “Oh.” There it is.

[0:27:29.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You got the symbol.

[0:27:31.1] ERIN LINEHAN: She gave me the Vanna White like, “Hey, you can do this.”

[0:27:34.8] AMY MOORE: Put your happy face on.

[0:27:36.5] ERIN LINEHAN: I go to –

[0:27:36.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Energy.

[0:27:37.8] AMY MOORE: Smile.

[0:27:38.8] ERIN LINEHAN: Smile. Okay. Energy. Breath in. Oh, goodness. I found this article. It’s entitled that “Home is where the heart is, but where is home?” Home means so much more than just a house. How do we decide on where home is? There’s lots of points in this article, but the key question is as you reflect upon where your home is, ask yourself why a particular place out of many places that you may have lived, stands out as one that feels like home. By doing so, you may gain deeper understanding to how you think about yourself and your connections with the world at large.

[0:28:19.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: This was an article by Psychology Today. That is really interesting. It’s like, how do you connect to your environment is really what I take from that little snippet, which is really and I guess the guts of what we’re talking about today.

[0:28:34.7] ERIN LINEHAN: The biggest thing for me is to get really familiar in any place, not even in that I need to get familiar with the land. If there’s a trail, I will go on the trail to wherever it is, or I will go – if I can, I’ll walk or preferably I’ll run in the area that I am, so I know my surroundings, because that starts to bring that feel of you get to know the place and the landscape of the area. Any new place that I like to go, I like to just get out to just get the sense of – because cities, or places all have different types of energy.

[0:29:05.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. Then you get your bearing in a way. Yeah, when we moved into our last house, or any house that we’ve moved into, any apartment, or whatever, I always want to clean it and get everybody all the previous owners germs off of it and to sage that, fresh start. I think it’s a similar thing of getting your bearings and being like, “This is now our home.” We’re creating our new – I live in Capitol Hill. We call it the Capitol Hill grime. It’s all those people’s energy from that have lived there, so it’s like, “Oh, [inaudible 0:29:42.8] part of where I live.”

[0:29:44.6] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s the most densely populated neighborhood in the whole city, right?

[0:29:48.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You bet it is.

[0:29:49.5] AMY MOORE: In Denver?

[0:29:50.0] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah.

[0:29:50.4] AMY MOORE: Oh, really?

[0:29:51.0] ERIN LINEHAN: No, I’m guessing. It just feels like that. There are so many people.

[0:29:55.6] AMY MOORE: I was down by the Coors Stadium. It’s pretty dense.

[0:29:58.7] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah, it’s pretty dense in there too.

[0:29:59.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That’s true.

[0:30:00.5] AMY MOORE: New. I mean, so it’s a really different feel.

[0:30:03.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, totally different.

[0:30:05.3] AMY MOORE: There was another article that we found, the Smithsonian article called The Definition of Home by Verlyn Klinkenborg.

[0:30:16.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That is a good go about it. I was like, “Wow, she is going for that.”

[0:30:20.0] ERIN LINEHAN: I got nothing. She was a teacher.

[0:30:24.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I’m like, “That’s ambitious,” because you’re just seeing all those letters on the page I’m like, “Oh, my. How’s this going to go?”

[0:30:30.3] ERIN LINEHAN: By an author. That’s what I always said.

[0:30:32.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I would’ve just said, “This is a Smithsonian article.”

[0:30:36.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah. Good job, Amy.

[0:30:37.0] AMY MOORE: Thanks, thanks. This article asks when did home become embedded in human consciousness? Is our sense of home instinctive? Are we denning animals, or nest builders, or are we at root nomadic? I think that’s really interesting, I guess for in my own experience. I moved as a kid. I moved from – transferred colleges, lived all over the US. Then even in my adult life with kids, have moved a fair amount. Lived in three major cities. Not major, but three cities. I wonder sometimes, is it going to stop? Or is it not? Is it good to keep going or what? I think about the – I still think I have a sense of home. Actually, being in Denver feels more home. There’s an energy there with Denver.

[0:31:37.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, it’s really interesting that you say that, because I too feel that about Denver. I never would have thought that I’d – I came out here for college and it was like, “I never ever would have thought I’d still be here.” Then I go out and visit and I come back home –

[0:31:52.3] ERIN LINEHAN: Feels like a breath. Yeah.

[0:31:53.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I take a breath. I’m like, “I’m home.” It’s just, I know it.

[0:31:57.7] AMY MOORE: It’s just a feeling. It’s a feeling.

[0:32:00.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah. Interesting. When I was doing my Healing Touch apprenticeship, we had to do all these alternative practitioner sessions with people, just to try things out. That was one of the requirements. I went to this woman who did a past-life reading with me. Super interesting. She was talking to me in some past life that I have been some nomadic something, or other. The way she was describing it before I said anything was exactly how I feel when I trail run. She’s saying this stuff and I was like, “Oh, whoa.” It felt she had the words, or like, “Oh, this is why I do this and why it feels so –” whether that is a thing or not a thing, I have no idea, but it was so eerily similar to how I feel when I’m trail running.

[0:32:45.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: How do you feel when you trail run?

[0:32:48.5] AMY MOORE: Nomadic. A nomadic lady.

[0:32:51.7] ERIN LINEHAN: Well, yeah. I get to explore and it’s the sense of freedom and you’re just – get to be wild. This wildness of you’re just running and just being outside.

[0:33:04.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You’re an animal. You know when I feel the most – when I felt the most like an animal?

[0:33:10.0] AMY MOORE: When?

[0:33:10.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: When I was pregnant.

[0:33:12.5] AMY MOORE: Oh, doll. Yeah.

[0:33:13.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I was like, “This shit is just happening, with or without me.” Hang on, Anna. Let’s see. You got a situation here and it’s happening. Giving birth, it was like, “Wow.” Talk about something greater than yourself, like taking control and just being like, “Well, we’re going animal here.”

[0:33:34.6] AMY MOORE: Animal.

[0:33:35.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Speaking of home, there was one thing that – I was going to give birth at a birthing center. It ultimately ended up not happening that way. C-section happened. There was something, we were encouraged to make a playlist, it was very hippie.

[0:33:50.4] AMY MOORE: That’s what I did too. Yeah.

[0:33:53.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. I was like, “Oh, there’s just one thing that I want. I want the song ‘Home’ to play when I’m giving birth. Put that shit on repeat.” Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros.

[0:34:05.2] ERIN LINEHAN: Magnetic Zeros.

[0:34:06.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It is so good. You have to check out that song too.

[0:34:09.4] ERIN LINEHAN: I love that song as well. We had my niece and nephew sing that at our wedding. It was so –

[0:34:15.9] AMY MOORE: Well, that’s crazy because that you both have that song in common.

[0:34:17.2] ERIN LINEHAN: A beautiful song.

[0:34:18.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Do you know this song?

[0:34:19.5] AMY MOORE: No.

[0:34:20.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, you got to listen to it. It’s so good.

[0:34:23.6] ERIN LINEHAN: I went to Red Rocks. For whatever reason, they were playing with the Alabama Shakes. I don’t know. We got there early and there wasn’t that many people, so I was in the front row for Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros and they I would say – I’ve been to a lot of concerts and that is by far the most – they just –

[0:34:39.4] AMY MOORE: Red Rocks?

[0:34:40.2] ERIN LINEHAN: It was amazing.

[0:34:41.0] AMY MOORE: That’s awesome.

[0:34:42.1] ERIN LINEHAN: I think there was 11 of them on stage and they are just so present. We’re so stoked to be there. It was amazing. When they sang that song it’s like, “Oh, you feel it the soul.”

[0:34:52.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You need to hear this song.

[0:34:53.6] AMY MOORE: I know. I guess so.

[0:34:55.3] ERIN LINEHAN: I’m going to get this. Keep going.

[0:34:58.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Then there’s a cute little duet part. It’s like, “Did you know when I fell in love with you?” “Oh, it’s like, you thought you’re going to die.” It’s way more graceful than that. It’s just awesome.

[0:35:15.3] ERIN LINEHAN: It feels good in the bones. It’s coming.

[0:35:18.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s coming.

[0:35:19.4] ERIN LINEHAN: I’ll play it.

[Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros – Home playing]

[0:35:22.6] ERIN LINEHAN: You know this song?

[0:35:25.0] AMY MOORE: Oh, yes. Yes. Yes.

[0:35:29.5] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah? It’s so good. Yup. You just keep it going.

“Alabama, Arkansas. I do love my ma and pa. Not that way –”

[0:35:44.3] AMY MOORE: From big butts to home.

[0:35:45.9] ERIN LINEHAN: Oh, yes. This song is so good.

[0:35:49.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: We are complicated.

[0:35:50.9] AMY MOORE: It’s good. There’s a real –

[0:35:52.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Expansive.

[0:35:52.8] AMY MOORE: Variety podcast.

[0:35:53.7] ERIN LINEHAN: Expansive.

[0:35:55.3] AMY MOORE: Variety show.

[0:35:56.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Variety show.

[0:35:57.6] ERIN LINEHAN: That’s right. Here it is.

[0:35:59.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, so we had a reader question that relates to home. When you travel, when you go out to your family members’ homes, when you visit family, or when they come to see you, do they stay with you in your home, or do you stay with them when you go to visit?

[0:36:18.4] AMY MOORE: Some do, some don’t. It varies. Some stay in our home, some get Airbnb. I don’t know. It varies for me.

[0:36:32.7] ERIN LINEHAN: When we go to my mom’s house, sometimes it’s real crowded, but we always just stay at her house. Sometimes it’s cramped and I sometimes think like, “Why don’t sometimes we stay at an Airbnb,” but it’s just what we do when we’ve always done. When people come to our house, they stay with us, or my sister’s in town too, and so most the time because she’s older that people stay with her. Maybe they like her more. I’m not sure, which is going to be the case.

[0:37:00.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Not possible.

[0:37:03.2] ERIN LINEHAN: They stay with her.

[0:37:05.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Never have met the sister.

[0:37:06.6] ERIN LINEHAN: What?

[0:37:07.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I’ve never met your sister, so I’m not saying anything personal.

[0:37:10.7] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah. Yeah. She’s not taking that personally. Yeah. Kathleen, Anna’s talking shit about you. Just kidding.

[0:37:21.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I’m like, “Wait a minute. I should clarify that I never meet the sister.”

[0:37:25.3] ERIN LINEHAN: That’s right. She’s fantastic. Yeah.

[0:37:27.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I’ve heard only good things.

[0:37:28.5] ERIN LINEHAN: That’s right. My sister.

[0:37:30.6] AMY MOORE: Okay. How about you, Anna?

[0:37:30.8] ERIN LINEHAN: What do you do?

[0:37:31.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Well, so it’s interesting. We don’t really have the space for it to be a comfortable situation. Most of the time, we have to do some rearranging and stuff, but a lot of times, well we offer and it must not be comfortable because people have ended up staying at an Airbnb the second time. Now that I think about it I’m like –

[0:37:56.4] ERIN LINEHAN: You’re like, “Oh, we’ll go stay somewhere else.”

[0:37:58.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s like, we know I’m central air and it’s hot.

[0:38:01.5] AMY MOORE: I stayed at your place. It was nice.

[0:38:03.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You did.

[0:38:03.8] AMY MOORE: It was comfortable.

[0:38:04.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, we have blackout curtains in there. Yeah. I mean, it’s – Erin, she’s impressed with that. You like that. You’re like, “Oh.”

[0:38:13.6] ERIN LINEHAN: That’s good.

[0:38:15.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I mean, yeah, it’s when we go to visit, my parents in particular, it’s you stay at their house.

[0:38:22.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Actually, that’s exactly how it is in my house.

[0:38:23.9] AMY MOORE: Yeah, there’s an expectation.

[0:38:25.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. I mean, and they do have the space and it allows you to see them more. You’re not doing the travel in the mornings, or whatever, if you’re spending the whole day together anyway. It’s really interesting, especially in complicated family situations? We have had the experience where we stayed in an Airbnb and it’s nice to have that break at the end of the day, to be able to say, “You know what? I’m going to have that separation. I’m going to recharge and have this time with our individual, separate little family and then we’re going to go back to the –”

[0:38:59.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Has anyone ever taken that personally?

[0:39:02.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Like I mentioned in a previous episode, I operate of that’s not my thing. I don’t take things personally. I try not to anyway. I haven’t ever had anyone say that they were super mad at me about it. Maybe they’re so mad and they’re like, “This B.”

[0:39:21.7] AMY MOORE: You would never know.

[0:39:22.8] ERIN LINEHAN: That’s right.

[0:39:23.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I would never know. Not a problem to me on this side. If they’re mad, I think adults need to tell people if they’re mad, or you got some beef with me. Tell me and we’ll go from there. Otherwise, I play stupid. I don’t know.

[0:39:35.2] ERIN LINEHAN: That’s right. Now you can’t play stupid, because you just let the cat out of the bag here on the podcast, Anna.

[0:39:40.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, damn it. Okay, this is off-roading here a little bit, but I got to ask you, when you get certain – when you get gifts, do you feel an obligation to hang on to those things? Because it’s a gift, or are you just like, “Well, I’m not enjoying it any longer. It served its purpose. It’s time to get rid of it.”

[0:40:02.1] AMY MOORE: I guess it really depends on what it is. I would say, my family is pretty good at gift-giving and everybody asks pretty clearly like, “What do you want?”

[0:40:13.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, that’s nice.

[0:40:14.9] AMY MOORE: Or the gifts are really just for kids at this point.

[0:40:18.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. We’ve started doing that with my siblings too.

[0:40:21.0] AMY MOORE: Yeah. I would say in general, no. I don’t feel very attached to even gifts. If I’m not using it and haven’t been using it, then –

[0:40:30.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Just takes up space.

[0:40:31.1] AMY MOORE: Yeah.

[0:40:31.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. I know that’s a thing in a lot of families.

[0:40:33.0] AMY MOORE: There are a lot of things that I do really love that I don’t use all the time.

[0:40:38.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That’s joy in it just having it there.

[0:40:40.2] AMY MOORE: Yeah, exactly. What about you? Do you feel guilty about – or do you feel attachment to gifts, because they’re a gift?

[0:40:47.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I feel I should, but I don’t.

[0:40:51.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Why do you feel like you should?

[0:40:53.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Because I know –

[0:40:54.8] AMY MOORE: If people put a lot of thought into it, or there is some deeper meaning then I would –

[0:41:02.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. If there’s a deeper meaning. I mean, I feel – mom if you’re listening, I love you so much. Sometimes she’ll ask what we want and what I want and she doesn’t get it at all. It’s totally different. I have told her. I’m super picky. If you’ve been to my house, it’s minimalist. We keep the surfaces clean and clutter-free, we try. Unless I love it, unless we love it, we get rid of it.

[0:41:34.6] AMY MOORE: Oh, Dory.

[0:41:35.9] ERIN LINEHAN: Confirming.

[0:41:36.3] AMY MOORE: Dog.

[0:41:37.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Dory’s like, “I cannot agree with that approach, Anna.” It really bothers some people that –

[0:41:45.3] AMY MOORE: You would get rid of their gift.

[0:41:47.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Talking about the gifts. My mother, if you’re listening mam, she has taken the QVC like a champion. It’s every gift, I think for all of us is from QVC. That shit is a trap. It’s crazy. I don’t know. She’s got a real QVC.

[0:42:07.7] AMY MOORE: Have you gotten some cool trinkets, or cool things? Because sometimes those inventions are so cool.

[0:42:12.9] ERIN LINEHAN: I did get an air fryer, a Paula Deen air fryer. We used it not that many times. She keeps asking me if I can use it and it takes up space. It’s great Brussels sprouts. It really is great Brussels sprouts.

[0:42:25.6] AMY MOORE: French fries.

[0:42:26.3] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah. We got that technique for the fries at home. Do you want to know it?

[0:42:30.6] AMY MOORE: Yeah.

[0:42:31.2] ERIN LINEHAN: Okay. Chop them up, right? Cut them up and do whatever shape you want. Then you soak them real quick in cold water. Just not dunking, it’s a soak. Then dump it out and then pat dry them and just a little bit of cooking spray and put spices on them and they crisp up like a champion.

[0:42:51.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: In the air fryer.

[0:42:52.5] ERIN LINEHAN: No. In the regular oven. That’s just –

[0:42:55.4] AMY MOORE: In high heat.

[0:42:56.3] ERIN LINEHAN: In high heat. I think over 400. If you want to talk about homemade French fries, that’s some good shit.

[0:43:04.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Talking about kitchen gadgets, guess where my in-laws keep their waffle maker? In the attic.

[0:43:14.7] ERIN LINEHAN: They use it a lot.

[0:43:15.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Well, they wanted to make waffles, but they couldn’t because it was in the attic.

[0:43:21.8] ERIN LINEHAN: That’s a goodwill. That’s goodwill, I guess.

[0:43:25.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh, man. Just funny. Also thinking about parents, it’s interesting because this comes up a lot in my Spending Faster’s group of stuff and minimalism and thinking about my parents and clearing out their stuff eventually from their home when the time comes. It’s just interesting talking about the connection to things that we all have on some level, if it’s a maximalist with lots of – someone who likes to have the –

[0:43:54.2] ERIN LINEHAN: Or a hoarder?

[0:43:55.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. A lot of stuff around them, or someone who’s more of a minimalist who prefers to have a less stuff around them.

[0:44:00.5] ERIN LINEHAN: It gives me anxiety. When there’s maximalist, it gives me – I feel stressed. I think it’s also generational.

[0:44:10.7] AMY MOORE: Oh, yeah. Depression and stuff. I mean, that’s a real thing.

[0:44:13.8] ERIN LINEHAN: Saving everything to keep everything, so that it had massive implication. Dory just farted. Dory’s had a huge –

[0:44:25.3] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Dog farts.

[0:44:26.2] ERIN LINEHAN: This is what it was like when Dory slept in my house. This is why Dory cannot sleep over anymore, because of this, as evidenced by this podcast. This is what it was like, barking, tweaking. It’s good. Okay, so emotional clutter. Yes. The Marie Kondo, the Kondo Mari –

[0:44:49.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: KonMari.

[0:44:50.2] ERIN LINEHAN: KonMari.

[0:44:53.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: KonMari. Got to be crazy. Got bless.

[0:44:55.6] ERIN LINEHAN: The basic – this Vogue article was basically about that. If we can clutter-free our cupboards, but we have an estimated of 20,000 to 50,000 thoughts a day, then what are we doing? What’s the point of clearing out our cluttered cupboards if we have all this shit in our mind, which is a great point.

[0:45:15.8] AMY MOORE: I think the other thing is making it lasting. I think the KonMari method, or it’s like, you can go through, you can get rid of all this. You can get rid of a lot of stuff, but then the maintenance of it all. Then is it that that clutter just seeps back in. I mean, I think with the mental and emotional stuff similar, right? You might clear it out, but then maintenance is a whole new –

[0:45:43.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Whole new thing.

[0:45:44.2] AMY MOORE: What you would have to bring practices into your life to –

[0:45:48.6] ERIN LINEHAN: I think that’s a whole indication, for me at least, that when I have piles, or piles of clothes at the end of the week, that is an indication of what’s happening internally with me. I think that it’s a good my space and how it is is a reflection of what’s happening internally with me. If there’s a pile here, or I didn’t do the dishes, and doesn’t happen that often. When there’s a buildup by the – if that week’s been super chaotic and busy, then –

[0:46:15.2] AMY MOORE: You see it.

[0:46:15.9] ERIN LINEHAN: Yes. I see it.

[0:46:17.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Manifesting.

[0:46:18.9] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah. There’s that Gretchen Rubin book that’s the in order – Outer Order, Inner Calm. I have not read it, but I would like to, because she has great points on things.

[0:46:26.7] AMY MOORE: Yeah. It’s the idea of working from the outside-in.

[0:46:30.0] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah. Yeah. That getting more control of our stuff makes us feel in more control of our lives, which I think is a great point, because I think that there’s a lot of truth to that. If things feel chaotic, I think that – then the first thing I’ll do is well, what can I clean? Because at least you have a tangible thing that you can do. With the business stuff, whenever I – I don’t really like to reconcile accounting, but it’s very tangible.

[0:46:56.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That sounds so fun!

[0:46:57.2] AMY MOORE: Right. So fun.

[0:46:58.6] ERIN LINEHAN: You just have to stick indifferent bucket. Yeah, it’s so great. You have to just stick it in. Then it’s like, “Oh, reconciled 100%.” Gives you a explanation point and a green check and you’re like, “Yes.” It feels good. Or Crystal really likes to go to the store and get –

[0:47:13.5] NEWELL JONES: Crystal is your business partner.

[0:47:14.4] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah, is my – likes to get all the tangible office supplies. Because a lot of our job is not tangible and that just feels good.

[0:47:22.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Well, I know this comes up a lot with my Spending Faster’s group and the people doing a spending fast is that once they start the process of getting out of debt, it’s like, okay, now what do I do with this time that I have? That’s minimalism starts coming in and it’s like, you can use this time and sell the things that are no longer serving you and make some money off those to pay off your debt, right? Here’s something tangible you can do now to move forward in this journey. I noticed that that was the natural progression when I started getting out of debt for myself. It was like, all of these things, I started noticing the tie that I had to these objects, right? Even just seeing them reminded me of the choices I had made financially and how that made me feel bad.

I chose that and I chose to continue the cycle of the situation I was in by purchasing that item. It reinforced when I saw that item that I had made this poor choice. It was this negative reinforcement cycle where –

[0:48:32.8] AMY MOORE: In your home. That’s hard.

[0:48:34.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: In my home. Yeah. When it was like, “Okay, I’m getting a debt. I’m going to sell some of these things that are no longer working for me, or serving me, or my family.” Turning it into something else and turning it into a situation where it was suddenly empowering, rather than a reminder.

[0:48:56.6] AMY MOORE: Well, and I think on a totally different note of thinking about the stuff that you do have, there’s that whole Danish way of living called Hygge. I looked it up and the definition –

[0:49:11.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I did not know that’s how you pronounce it. I thought it was Hi-gi.

[0:49:14.0] AMY MOORE: Hoo-ga.

[0:49:15.0] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Hoo-ga.

[0:49:15.7] AMY MOORE: Danish. Just kidding. It’s a quality of coziness and comfortable conviviality that engenders a feeling of contentment or well-being, regarded as a defining characteristic of Danish culture.

[0:49:33.0] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s great.

[0:49:34.1] AMY MOORE: Yeah. I was in Copenhagen last – when was that? Last October. It’s definitely a thing, obviously.

[0:49:43.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Are the houses – do they just feel so great?

[0:49:46.0] AMY MOORE: Cozy. It is a coziness.

[0:49:49.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That’s cool.

[0:49:50.9] AMY MOORE: Yeah, candles and –

[0:49:52.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You know what really helps with coziness?

[0:49:53.9] AMY MOORE: What? Blankets?

[0:49:55.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Lamps. Not ceiling lamps.

[0:49:58.3] AMY MOORE: Lighting is huge, I think.

[0:50:00.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Oh, absolutely.

[0:50:00.4] AMY MOORE: Lighting is huge. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. A lot to do though to make your home, whether it’s paper.

[0:50:13.9] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, a lot to do.

[0:50:15.2] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah, here we go.

[0:50:17.8] AMY MOORE: Clean out the clutter and get some candles.

[0:50:22.2] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Well and it really does clear your mind. I have this guide. It’s called the Fearless Minimalist Guide. It walks through all sorts of ways to declutter and we’ll link to that in the show notes. It’s just something that will help you walk through the whole process. Minimalism is something that you want to try. If you want to give it a go, or want a different take on it, it’s really a way to say, “I can be a minimalist in a way that makes sense for me.” Minimalism, I feel is often misunderstood of being like, “Oh, I have to have nothing around me.” When the reality is I just want to have around me the things that serve me. We’ll link to that. That’s a pretty helpful guide.

Then we have a helpful tip from my sister-in-law, Sarah, actually. It’s a laundry tip. She was telling me about this recently when we were visiting in Ocean City, Maryland. I was like, “What? You do what?” We’ll play the voice-mail here in just one second, but it’s an awesome way for her to stay on top of the laundry. Had to plug that, or tell you all about that little life hack in this home episode.

[0:51:33.9] SARAH: Hi, ladies. This is Sarah calling from York. I was asked by Anna to share my laundry routine and hope that it would help other moms stay on top of the never-ending task of getting laundry done. Me and her were discussing it at our beach vacation and I let her know. I am complete nuts when it comes to laundry. When I worked full-time, it was the last thing I wanted to do, but it was of course the thing I had to do every single day. Then I got to be a stay-at-home mom when I got into my routine of getting laundry done and always staying on top of it.

Here is my pointer: we wake up in the morning and my oldest son is coalescing the laundry from the hamper every day. He brings it downstairs and the first thing I do in the morning is start my laundry. Then I get the kids their breakfast, I get all of their lunches packed, I get them off to school. By the time I come in from putting them on the bus, it is ready to go into the dryer. I go ahead and dry it.

Last year, I would take my littlest guy to preschool. By the time I would get home from dropping off at preschool, my laundry was ready to be folded and put away. I would either go right upstairs and put it away, or I would wait till nap time to put it away when he was still napping. I kind of get into the routine now where right before while the kids are all getting their own bath and showers, because they’re all old enough to do that, while they were doing that at night, I just buzz through everybody’s room, put laundry away.

I usually get the kids’ outfits out for the next day and display on out at that time so it’s all ready to go. To keep on top of my laundry when it comes to towels and sheets and bathroom rugs, I have all the kids collect their towels from the bathroom every Friday morning and we make a game out of it by throwing it over the banister, into a laundry basket that I have [inaudible 0:53:27.6]. I just collect everything, including my kitchen towels and my kitchen rags for the week and I go ahead and wash down on hot right away, get that done and out of the way as well. That way, they are ready to be put right back out. I do that on Fridays. If I need to do it more throughout the week, I do, but we tend to just do a weekly routine of changing the towels.

The same goes with sheets. I do that on whenever they need sheets, we just do it first thing in the morning and I go up as soon as they’re out and I put them right back on the bed to eliminate having to fold sheets. I also do that with bathroom rugs. Anytime I clean my bathroom, or I [inaudible 0:54:08.7] time to pick up my rugs that are in front of my space and my doors, throw in the washer and put them right back out.

Tends to just help stand out of the laundry. I’m not spending my entire weekend washing, folding, putting away. It also helps me organize the kids’ closets, because they put them away in outfits. If I don’t have the chance to pull their outfit out for the next day, they can simply just go in and pick an outfit that matches, because my kids are pretty notorious for putting on plaid shirts and striped shorts. This makes it a lot easier for everybody.

One other pointer, I wash everything on cold, that way I can throw everything into the same load every morning. If I do have a bunch of white, I just put this aside on top of my washer, until it’s time I see enough to do a little mini-load of white. I do lash my towels and everything on hot and that’s why I do that separately.

I’ve given this pointer to a lot of my friends and I’ve even said if I were to continue or go back to work full-time, I would absolutely start my laundry first thing when I wake up in the morning, so then by the time I’m ready to walk out the door, it can go in the dryer. When I get home from work, it’s not such a huge and daunting task, because I just have one load of laundry to put away that day. I hope this helps other moms out there. It certainly makes my life easier and I think it might for you too. All right. Take care. Bye-bye.

[0:55:31.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: All right. We have our awareness challenge. We have come to the end of the episode. This noisy episode with Dory as our guest in Studio.

[0:55:41.1] ERIN LINEHAN: Tell me. Tell me. Tell me.

[0:55:45.6] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s like I said, a 110 degrees. We got some floor lamps, we got the dog.

[0:55:50.5] ERIN LINEHAN: We got some barking.

[0:55:51.4] ANNA NEWELL JONES: We got some barking.

[0:55:52.3] AMY MOORE: Barking.

[0:55:53.0] ERIN LINEHAN: Sweaty pits.

[0:55:52.7] AMY MOORE: It’s just like we’re recording at home.

[0:55:55.3] ERIN LINEHAN: That’s right.

[0:55:56.7] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. Shoes off.

[0:55:58.2] ERIN LINEHAN: You might have air-condition at home.

[0:56:01.0] AMY MOORE: It’s so hot in here.

[0:56:02.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s a little warm.

[0:56:03.1] AMY MOORE: Anyway, so the nugget.

[0:56:04.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. The question is ask yourself, are the things that I’m surrounding myself with creating the home that I want? That’s it.

[0:56:15.3] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s great.

[0:56:16.1] AMY MOORE: It’s good one.

[0:56:16.8] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Just a question to ask yourself.

[0:56:18.8] AMY MOORE: All right. Well, and with that everybody, make sure that you go to lessalonepodcast.com to access the show notes, links and resources from this episode and the transcript. Use the discount code LessAlonePodcast for 20% off your first month at weeditpodcasts.com.

[0:56:38.1] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yup. They have been so awesome.

[0:56:39.6] AMY MOORE: So awesome.

[0:56:40.6] ERIN LINEHAN: Yes.

[0:56:40.8] AMY MOORE: Thanks, everybody.

[0:56:41.8] ERIN LINEHAN: Thank you.

[0:56:42.5] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Bye. Peace.

[0:56:43.4] AMY MOORE: Bye.

[END OF EPISODE]

[0:56:47.8] AMY MOORE: Thanks for listening. You can find more about this episode and a way to connect to the community at lessalonepodcast.com. If you us, don’t forget to subscribe and be sure to leave a review. It helps other people find us and could be just what they need.

[END]

P.S. Be sure to Rate, Review and Subscribe to the podcast in your favorite podcast player!

Please follow and like us:
error

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *