EP18: Imagine You Are ALREADY, Right This Minute, Worthy of Love
Ghosts named Mary Jo Shibley, red flags becoming deal breakers, How to Torment Little Brothers, being your own safety net, inner hippies leading the way, jumping jacks while crying your eyes out, when energy is caught in the body, when to use life hacks (and when not to), and things that are better out than in, like farts.
Plus: the connection to our belief that we are (or are not) inherently worthy just as we are.
We talk about all this and more so be sure to tune in!
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
- Shapa Scale – is THE BEST NUMBERLESS SCALE! They’ve got an AMAZING deal for you! Use the code LESSALONE for a FREE Shapa Scale (!!!) PLUS get FREE shipping when you sign up for a 12-month subscription to their app!
- Broomfield, Colorado Therapist: The Kali Institute Free Online Workshop
- So Worth Loving
- @SoWorthLoving on Instagram
- Dax Shepard’s podcast: Armchair Expert
- Podcast: Divorce and Other Things You Can Handle
- Anna’s seltzer water life hack
- Get your Free 6-Step Roadmap to Instant Connection: ConnectionRoadmap.com
P.S. Be sure to Rate, Review and Subscribe to the podcast in your favorite podcast player!
S2 EPISODE 18
[00:00:00] ERIN LINEHAN: Contents of this show are for educational, informational and entertainment purposes only. Any information on this show does not create a client therapist relationship and should not be taken as professional advice. Before making any decisions regarding your healthcare, ask your personal physician or mental healthcare professional, or call 911 for any emergencies.
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[0:00:21.5] AMY MOORE: We are three friends exploring connection. From the coffee shop to the podcast studio. I’m Amy.
[00:00:26] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I’m Anna.
[00:00:27] ERIN LINEHAN: I’m Erin.
[00:00:35] AMY MOORE: Hey, Anna.
[00:00:35] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah?
[00:00:36] AMY MOORE: You know Erin is a pretty badass therapist, right?
[00:00:38] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I totally know. I just like take notes when she’s talking.
[00:00:42] AMY MOORE: Me too. Some of our audience does as well. Did you know that there’s also a place that you can get information directly from her?
[00:00:52] ANNA NEWELL JONES: On her website, right?
[00:00:53] AMY MOORE: Yeah. Didn’t you do it?
[00:00:55] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah.
[00:00:56] AMY MOORE: Tell us about it.
[00:00:56] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. There’re all these free workshops that they’re offering at thekaliinstitute.com. You can sign up for those. K-A-L-I is how you spell Kali, and then institute, thekaliinstitute.com.
[00:01:09] AMY MOORE: Get it done.
[00:01:36] AMY MOORE: Oh wow! Okay. Here we are.
[00:04:53] AMY MOORE: Okay. Okay. We’re back. We got a big one. Huge.
[00:06:31] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I have a feeling this is going to be a good one.
[00:06:33] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s going to be great. Okay. I’m so excited. Here we are.
[00:06:39] ANNA NEWELL JONES: We got a big one.
[00:06:42] AMY MOORE: We’re back in the studio.
[00:06:46] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You’re singing now? We’re so happy to be here. We’re stoked.
[00:06:55] AMY MOORE: Oh my gosh! We’ve had some amazing guests, haven’t we? What a different season.
[00:07:01] ERIN LINEHAN: I know. It’s been great.
[00:07:04] AMY MOORE: It’s been so great and so fun and I think it was yesterday, I told the two of you. I just want to be friends with these people.
[00:07:12] ERIN LINEHAN: Absolutely. I was thinking the same thing.
[00:07:13] AMY MOORE: They’re doing such amazing things.
[00:07:15] ERIN LINEHAN: Yup.
[00:07:16] AMY MOORE: So cool.
[00:07:17] ERIN LINEHAN: They’re so cool. I feel really lucky that we get to hear the insides of what people are doing, because I feel like you don’t get those deep conversations with virtual strangers very often. I feel really, really grateful to hear, because I get super excited about everything that they’re doing.
[00:07:33] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s like I feel like just approaching these interviews and stuff, it’s like most of the time if people have a business, they’re always interviewed about the business and it’s just like going at it from the approach of like, “Hey, we really want to get to know this person and how they connect to whatever this bigger umbrella thing is.” Just the things that have come up in these interviews is so surprising and it’s just like did not expect some of these things, these topics that we get to talk about.
[00:08:01] AMY MOORE: Well, it’s like the platform of the podcast has allowed us to be like, “Hey! Stranger, but we think you have a really cool thing going on. Can you come and tell us about your personal business?” I mean, what a gift that they’re giving us to come into the show and then share with us. We don’t know them and they don’t know us but they’re trusting us with their story and then we get to share it. So, super awesome.
Eryn Eddy was on our last show and she’s got soworthliving.com.
[00:08:40] ANNA NEWELL JONES: And so worth loving.
[00:08:41] AMY MOORE: And soworthloving.com.
[00:08:42] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I think it’s actually soworthliving.
[00:08:45] AMY MOORE: So worth living. Good.
[00:08:50] ANNA NEWELL JONES: But she does have so worth living on Instagram.
[00:08:52] AMY MOORE: Oh! Okay. That’s probably why I was thinking about that. Yeah.
[00:08:55] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, you got it.
[00:08:56] AMY MOORE: So worth loving.
[00:08:57] ANNA NEWELL JONES: She’s so worth loving.
[00:08:59] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah, she is so worth loving.
[00:09:00] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I love her laugh. Super fun. We’ve got some interesting takeaway topics that came from that interview. Before we get into the topics, I’m going to quick read a review, and this one is from Laura S. from Kentucky.
[00:09:18] AMY MOORE: I think that is my best friend from college. Thank you [inaudible 00:09:24].
[00:09:26] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yes. We will take all the reviews from old college best friends. Please!
[00:09:32] ERIN LINEHAN: Just as a side note, Anna picks these, the ones that do. I had no part in that. So that’s pretty amazing.
[00:09:37] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That’s funny. I just pick the gray ones. I mean, ones that really standout that I’m like, “Oh! That’s good.”
[00:09:45] AMY MOORE: That’s good! High-five bird.
[00:09:47] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Way to go. I think we just got inside on like five inside jokes right there.
[00:09:52] ERIN LINEHAN: Me too. Go ahead.
[00:09:53] ANNA NEWELL JONES: This one is titled authentic and inspiring, and we have five stars.
[00:09:59] AMY MOORE: Thank you Laura S.
[00:10:00] ANNA NEWELL JONES: “This is the first series of podcast I’ve listened to. Now I’m hooked. Thank you for sharing your expertise and personal stories. I find myself considering so many of the concepts you decide for a wide-variety of relationships and people in my life, ranging from my immediate family and closest friends to the cashier at the grocery store. You’re down to earth and honest approach is so refreshing. Now I’m heading to turnoff my computer and phone to do some true active listening with my family and friends. Thanks for the inspiration. Keep it coming. Cheers! Laura S.”
[00:10:36] AMY MOORE: Yeah bird!
[00:10:37] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Thank you, Laura.
[00:10:38] AMY MOORE: That’s really nice. Thank you. Keep them coming. We love hearing what you think of the podcast and where you’re listening to it.
[00:10:46] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, that’s fun. So fun.
[00:10:48] AMY MOORE: What do you think?
[00:10:50] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, share it with your friends. Tell us what you like about it. Yeah. It’s like the easiest in, my opinion, way to support the show.
[00:10:58] AMY MOORE: Totally. Yes.
[00:10:59] ANNA NEWELL JONES: And it’s totally free.
[00:11:01] ERIN LINEHAN: That’s right.
[00:11:02] AMY MOORE: So great. I love podcast.
[00:11:04] ERIN LINEHAN: I love podcast.
[00:11:05] AMY MOORE: I was listening to Armchair Expert on the way over here.
[00:11:09] ANNA NEWELL JONES: By old Dax Shepard?
[00:11:10] AMY MOORE: Yes.
[00:11:11] ANNA NEWELL JONES:
[00:11:12] AMY MOORE: Cracking me up. Oh! I was laughing so hard. He was talking about like birth order. He’s like the youngest of six.
[00:11:20] ERIN LINEHAN: That a boy.
[00:11:21] AMY MOORE: Yeah. Then they grew up in Indiana. So there is a whole Midwestern thing, which I can relate to, and it was just – I was just laughing.
[00:11:28] ANNA NEWELL JONES: What was he saying? Does he agree with this?
[00:11:30] AMY MOORE: Actually, he was saying that he was learning about birth order.
[00:11:36] ERIN LINEHAN: That youngest are always badass. Is that what he said?
[00:11:38] AMY MOORE: No. But we know you think that.
[00:11:41] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Erin is the youngest.
[00:11:43] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s a fact. So I could say that.
[00:11:46] AMY MOORE: No! But here’s what he said. This is actually interesting maybe for you. Somewhere he learned that with birth order, it only is relevant to the first four children, and then – No. Listen though. Listen though. Then when five comes along, it actually starts repeating itself. So the fifth and the first have very similar characteristics or personalities.
The high-achievers, which is usually birth order number one, usually. Anyway, and then if there are six kids, that would be more similar to the second born. Seven kids would be similar to the third. I thought that was super interesting too. I’ve never heard that before.
[00:12:25] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. It’s like you got two sets of kids.
[00:12:27] AMY MOORE: Totally!
[00:12:31] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You know what else I’ve heard about birth order?
[00:12:32] AMY MOORE: What?
[00:12:34] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s total BS. Just kidding. I’m kidding. No. What I have heard about –
[00:12:38] AMY MOORE: You know what I heard about twins? I didn’t hear anything about twins.
[00:12:46] ANNA NEWELL JONES: The first born is obviously [inaudible 00:12:48]. No. With birth order, it only really matters when you’re with those people. Otherwise, it’s not really – It doesn’t necessarily –
[00:12:59] ERIN LINEHAN: Keep going. We got you.
[00:13:01] AMY MOORE: Come on girl. Come on.
[00:13:02] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Like regular life, it doesn’t –
[00:13:06] ERIN LINEHAN: It doesn’t show up that way.
[00:13:06] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yes. That’s the word I’m looking for. I’m not sure –
[00:13:10] AMY MOORE: Therapist. What is your –
[00:13:13] ERIN LINEHAN: But Crystal is –
[00:13:14] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Crystal is your business partner.
[00:13:15] ERIN LINEHAN: She is the oldest of her family and I’m the youngest and she is seven years younger than me and I always feel like she’s older than me. I think of my business where I’m like, “Oh!” But it always feels like she’s older than me.
[00:13:29] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You’re like the little squirt.
[00:13:31] ERIN LINEHAN: She’s smaller than me.
[00:13:34] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You’re the youngest. I’m the oldest.
[00:13:38] AMY MOORE: I think I’m weird, because – I mean —
[00:13:45] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Me, I think I’m weird.
[00:13:47] AMY MOORE: Here’s the deal. There’re five kids in my family, but the age between everybody is different. My oldest brother, so first born. Two years later, second born. Two years later, third born. That’s me. Then there’s a gap of five years. So then that’s fourth. Then there’s a gap of – Let’s see. I think 13 or 14 years. Yeah, there’s the fifth.
[00:14:22] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oopsies!
[00:14:24] AMY MOORE: I don’t know what happens with that.
[00:14:26] ERIN LINEHAN: Al is younger than you?
[00:14:26] AMY MOORE: Yeah.
[00:14:27] ERIN LINEHAN: Okay. Yeah.
[00:14:29] AMY MOORE: Yup. I used to dress him up. I put lipstick on him. I put his hair. I curled his hair, give him glasses.
[00:14:38] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That’s the best thing to do with little brothers. We did that too.
[00:14:40] AMY MOORE: Oh man! I made him –
[00:14:42] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Is he like scared?
[00:14:43] AMY MOORE: Yes, and he brings it up all the time. I also slammed his finger by accident into a – I mean, in our minivan. We had an Astro van. Do you remember those things? Maroon Astro van.
[00:14:59] ANNA NEWELL JONES: We had a maroon and gold full-size van.
[00:15:01] AMY MOORE: Oh yeah! We were talking about this recently. You guys both have like the conversion vans. Boom! I knew somebody in high school whose family had one of those. I slammed his finger in a door. I also punted a soccer ball when he was playing a kazoo.
[00:15:18] ERIN LINEHAN: You what?
[00:15:19] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Like in his face?
[00:15:20] AMY MOORE: Yeah. I heard it pop at his face, like the roof of his mouth. Oh man! I just loved him so much, but I also like really loved to just mess with him. The worst thing I probably did was we had these really spicy jalapeno peppers from our garden. I told him it tasted like candy.
[00:15:50] ERIN LINEHAN: Oh, you turd.
[00:15:50] AMY MOORE: I know. I was like, “Oh! Alex, you got to have this jalapeno pepper. It’s like candy it’s so good.” Sure enough he’s like 5 and he’s like, “Really? Okay.” So he eats the jalapeño pepper, the poor kid had like red all over his mouth. It was like burning him. ER visit.
[00:16:13] ERIN LINEHAN: We’re going to move on.
[00:16:14] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Wait. I want to say we did [inaudible 00:16:16] my little brother.
[00:16:20] AMY MOORE: Can I just say though? I love my little brother and I love both of them. But Alex, my Alex, he’s in Denver and he’s like – It’s like just a gift.
[00:16:31] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, you are lucky. He cannot hear. He doesn’t even freaking listen to the podcast.
[00:16:36] AMY MOORE: No. Okay.
[00:16:37] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Okay. Erin’s like, “Okay. We’re talking –”
[00:16:42] ERIN LINEHAN: I’m going to have to reign it in.
[00:16:44] ANNA NEWELL JONES: We’re in a little brother corner right now. Okay. We tormented my little brother. He’s 7 years younger than me and we told him that there was this ghost named Mary Jo Shively. We scared the shit out of him.
[00:17:01] AMY MOORE: Wait. Where did the ghost live?
[00:17:03] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Well, we were in Sioux City, Iowa where my grandparents lived and they had this creepy-ass basement and we’re like, “Oh! Mary Jo Shively is down there.” We had it all set up where different cousins were at the windows like scratching the window.
[00:17:16] AMY MOORE: Oh no!
[00:17:18] ANNA NEWELL JONES: We scared his ass. It was so bad.
[00:17:21] AMY MOORE: That gives me goosebumps actually .
[00:17:22] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, Mary Jo Shively.
[00:17:24] AMY MOORE: Look at Erin’s face. Erin’s face is pure disgust. She is the youngest and she is feeling it.
[00:17:30] ERIN LINEHAN: I’m terrified of the things in the basement.
[00:17:33] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh yeah.
[00:17:35] AMY MOORE: The Mary Jo Shively. Whoa!
[00:17:39] ERIN LINEHAN: Devil name. Midwest.
[00:17:42] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I don’t know where they got that name from. But man, we scared the shit out of him. He jumped –
[00:17:45] AMY MOORE: I bet.
[00:17:46] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. We had it all set up. We had someone like hide and wrestling around different places in the laundry basket. Oh! It was so good.
[00:17:55] AMY MOORE: I think it was my grandparents. They had the stairs with like holes between each stair and I – Yeah, grabbed those ankles.
[00:18:05] ERIN LINEHAN: Just sprinting up the stairs.
[00:18:06] AMY MOORE: Oh yeah. So fast. I think I peed my pants once. So scared.
[00:18:10] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah.
[00:18:11] ERIN LINEHAN: Did you time your sisters? Did you use to time your younger siblings?
[00:18:15] ANNA NEWELL JONES: No.
[00:18:16] AMY MOORE: Time them like how fast can you do this?
[00:18:17] ERIN LINEHAN: To go get you stuff? Because my sister did that to me all the time.
[00:18:20] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That was smart.
[00:18:21] AMY MOORE: Confession. I do that to my kids sometimes.
[00:18:24] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I think that’s a good idea, because it makes it like a game. I mean, maybe not –
[00:18:30] ERIN LINEHAN: Not for your younger sibling. It doesn’t make really great game.
[00:18:31] ANNA NEWELL JONES: No.
[00:18:36] AMY MOORE: Erin, what do you have to say to all the younger siblings out there?
[00:18:39] ERIN LINEHAN: I have to say to all the other younger siblings, this is what I used to say especially to my middle sister. She used to torment me and I was like, “When I get bigger than you, I’m going to kick your ass.” It’s true. Then it happened.
[00:18:53] AMY MOORE: Is that Colleen?
[00:18:54] ERIN LINEHAN: No. Colleen is number four.
[00:18:55] AMY MOORE: Okay.
[00:18:56] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Did you beat her ass?
[00:18:58] ERIN LINEHAN: Well, yeah. Not Colleen. The third one. Yeah.
[00:19:03] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Wait. What do you have to say to all the youngest siblings out there?
[00:19:05] AMY MOORE: This is your moment.
[00:19:06] ERIN LINEHAN: This is on the spot. What do I have to say? Don’t put up with that bullshit from your older siblings. That’s what I have to say about that.
[00:19:15] ANNA NEWELL JONES: But it builds character, right? Resilience.
[00:19:16] ERIN LINEHAN: My best friend when I was little, Matt, we tied his –
[00:19:22] AMY MOORE: Turtle Matt.
[00:19:22] ERIN LINEHAN: Yes, turtle Matt. We tied his brother to a tree. No joke. His younger brother to a tree I think for like a two-hour period of time and was tied to – Or something like that. He’s scared for life from that and I feel terrible. I’m like, “Of course, I’m a freaking therapist and then I tied this kid to the tree.” That’s horrible as a kid. God! Yeah.
[00:19:45] ANNA NEWELL JONES: We all do our things, don’t we?
[00:19:47] ERIN LINEHAN: We flipped place, right? So that I was the youngest, but not at Matt’s house.
[00:19:55] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I’m older than you, and this is what we do.
[00:19:57] ERIN LINEHAN: Oh my God! Horrified. I feel terrible. I’ve apologized to him.
[00:20:01] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I’m so sorry, I tied you to that tree.
[00:20:05] ERIN LINEHAN: Here’s money for your EMDR session. Oh my God! Terrible. Oh my God! Anyhow.
[00:20:11] ANNA NEWELL JONES: There’s that voice again.
[00:20:11] AMY MOORE: Here we go. I know. I love it. Okay. Here we go.
[00:20:15] ERIN LINEHAN: Sibling corner.
[00:20:16] AMY MOORE: Sibling corner. Now we are taking it back to the topics of the Eryn Eddie interview. One thing that – We’re just going to jump right in here. Are you guys ready?
[00:20:26] ERIN LINEHAN: Great. Yeah.
[00:20:27] AMY MOORE: Okay. First question we have for each other. When have you been the most courageous?
[00:20:37] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I guess this is why we should have talked about –
[00:20:40] ERIN LINEHAN: Yes. Well, let’s go with it. When have you been the most courageous?
[00:20:44] AMY MOORE: I mean, I actually think there’s a transition here. We’re talking about childhood. We’re talking about how scary it can be when your older siblings are tormenting you. That takes courage, to stand up to people. When you’re little, if you’re older, there are bullies in this world, people. It doesn’t matter where you are in life. There are people out there who want to tear you down. I mean. That is like the sad truth. I think that’s like a really sad truth actually.
[00:21:17] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You think there are, really?
[00:21:19] AMY MOORE: Yes.
[00:21:20] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I mean – Okay. There are.
[00:21:24] AMY MOORE: I mean. I think like bullies are real and I think that it takes courage.
[00:21:31] ERIN LINEHAN: Why do not think that there’s people [inaudible 00:21:33]?
[00:21:33] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I think there are certain situations where people want to take other people down, but like I just think in general I think people don’t operate that way. Maybe I’m naïve.
[00:21:46] AMY MOORE: I don’t want to make a generalization. I don’t want to say that in general people are there to take you down. I don’t believe that at all. Did I say that?
[00:21:55] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I think that’s how I took it.
[00:21:56] AMY MOORE: Okay. Yeah. No. Thanks for clarifying, because I definitely don’t mean that. I think in general, I think people are good. I really in general I think people want to connect. I think people want to be loved and I think people generally are good people. I think the unfortunate truth is that there are those who don’t operate that way.
[00:22:24] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Just like with specific situations or just in life in general?
[00:22:29] AMY MOORE: That’s a good question. I mean, I would have to –
[00:22:32] ERIN LINEHAN: I think that hurt people hurt people, hurt other people. I think that people are doing the best that they can, but I think that when there’re people that are super wounded or really hurt and they operate from a place where they can hurt other people because of the pain that they’re in. Then actually Kelsey sent me something on Instagram that was like hurt people hurt people, but I can’t remember what it said. But it’s like healed people help heal other people. I think like that is – I think that’s true.
[00:22:57] AMY MOORE: Yeah. I think it takes courage. So when hurt people hurt people – I’ll speak for myself. If I’m a position where I feel like there is someone or some people or whatever trying to hurt me, it takes a lot of courage and – I mean, gees! It takes a ton of courage, but it takes a whole lot of other things too to kind of face that and get through it and to really like stand up. Just like being a younger sibling and someone’s tormenting you. It’s like, “You got to have courage to stand up.”
I just think about bullying in our culture and in schools and all that stuff and I think it’s always so interesting how people have said that if there’s another person who can stand up for the child who’s being bullied or the person who’s being bullied, that is actually like the most beneficial.
[00:24:01] ERIN LINEHAN: That makes sense.
[00:24:03] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I’ve always heard that like if you’re being bullied or like – My son just recently started kindergarten. So it’s like I’ve thought about like the bullying or if that happens, how to handle it. I’ve always heard that if you’re being bullied, you have to speak up for yourself. That’s the best way to handle it and stuff, but you’ve heard that someone else should do it.
[00:24:26] AMY MOORE: Find an ally.
[00:24:27] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Oh! Like an ally, like someone on your team.
[00:24:29] AMY MOORE: No. What I’ve heard, and Erin, I don’t know if you know more about this than me, but what I’ve heard it like the most powerful way to stop a bully or to protect a person who’d being bullied is not for that victim to try to fight back. It’s better if you can work with all the other people around them to teach them how to kind of intervene and stand up for the victim to the bully.
[00:25:04] ERIN LINEHAN: I feel like that is super powerful. I’m trying to think back the situations that I have been in and someone has stood up like, “Dude, that’s not cool.” It is like then cuts the shit that’s happening, and then I think that is accurate. I don’t have any research about that or whatever, but I think –
[00:25:22] AMY MOORE: I’ve seen my daughter do it. She tells me stories where it’s like, “So and so wasn’t nice and said da-da-da.” It just makes me so proud and just like, “Thank you.” Because I mean I think it’s a big deal. Anyway. Yeah –
[00:25:44] ERIN LINEHAN: I actually had a situation when I was maybe 17 or 18 and I was out to dinner with friends. This is me being shitty. I was out to dinner with friends and one of our friends had just said something that was like questionable about character. I don’t know what it was, but you can imagine at 17 or 18. She went to the bathroom and then I started talking about that to my friend at the table and my other friend said to me that that is not cool to talk about people when they’re not here, to me. I was like, “Ugh!” But it was the most powerful thing and I have never forgot about that. That was such a good lesson. Hard lesson because it made me feel like shit, but I got the point, but I think that that is absolutely true. I do agree with that person.
[00:26:29] AMY MOORE: I think that’s where the courage is. Your friend being able to just be like, “Not cool, Erin.”
[00:26:36] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Well, and saying like the unpopular opinion. It’d be way to easier for her to just keep going with it and like, “Oh, yeah.”
[00:26:43] AMY MOORE: Yes.
[00:26:44] ANNA NEWELL JONES: But to say, “Whoa!”
[00:26:46] AMY MOORE: Talk about loving yourself. If you’re able to say what is unpopular and stand for that or you’re able to like put a boundary up or tell someone like, “Hey! That’s not cool.” More power to you. That’s what I say.
[00:27:05] ERIN LINEHAN: Right. Absolutely.
[00:27:05] AMY MOORE: What about you, Anna? What about moments of courage or –
[00:27:09] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I feel like the most courageous I’ve been has been learning to stand in my truth in all sorts of different situations throughout my life. I mean, I feel like growing up as a shy person and feeling like I have no voice, my big mission as an adult is to find my voice and to use it.
Standing in my truth, trusting my gut and acting on that and really living with integrity with like, okay, matching my insides to my outsides is something that takes so much courage. I mean, because a lot of – Sometimes it’s not a popular opinion to do what you have to do to say, “This is the truth of what I need to do, and you might not like that.” But I know in my gut this is what I have to do.
Being able to do that or wanting to do that and making those hard choices sometimes when it’s not necessarily something that’s like that you want to do but you know in your gut that you have to do. Those are the things that I constantly feel like, “Oh man! I have to be brave. I have to face this. I have to make sure that what I’m doing and how I’m operating the world is in line with my true gut feeling.” I feel like that has been like my mission.
Having that contrast of growing up and feeling I had no voice or that I couldn’t share because of the anxiety associated with my shyness, I felt like just the paralyzation with my voice and I couldn’t – It was almost like a block. So now using my voice and speaking when I feel the urge or have something to say, that’s something that has constantly built up my courage and it makes it easier every time I do it to like be true to myself and to say what I mean to say.
I’d say, overall, that’s the big umbrella thing – Then underneath that, then it’s like, “Okay. Here are all these other times I’ve been courageous with using my voice and saying what I need to say that needs to be said.”
[00:29:22] AMY MOORE: Yeah. As your friend, it’s pretty cool to watch you do that, because it is – Like you can see it how it’s like a compounding thing. You only get stronger in speaking your truth, and that’s been really cool to see.
[00:29:40] ERIN LINEHAN: I agree.
[00:29:42] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. What about you, Erin?
[00:29:44] ERIN LINEHAN: I’m trying to think. There’s a lot of times that I’ve had to flex the courage muscle, but I think that the first time that I can remember doing that, I was in the sophomore in college and I had played – Prior to that, through high school and my entire life I had always identified as an athlete. So I played through sports in high school. Then that was my whole identity. Going to college, I started playing soccer at the university that I was going to. The first year was great. I loved doing it or whatever. Then I got into the second year and the situation wasn’t ideal for me in soccer, but then all of my friends were field hockey players at the school. I had never played field hockey before. My two sisters played field hockey actually at the university that I went to. They had a situation where the goalie, they had one goalie on the field hockey team and they needed another goalie and she was having trouble her freshman year. They needed another goalie, so then they were like, “No. You should play.” I was like, “I’ve never played field hockey before. I don’t have any idea.”
Then I remember being like, “I don’t know if soccer is going to work out.” So if I quit the soccer team, then I’m going to lose my identity, and I’m not ready to do that, but I could step in to field hockey, but it’s completely switching sports.
I remember we had a day off. I think it was on Monday for soccer. So field hockey’s day off was Tuesday, I think. Something like that. So then I went to the field hockey practice and I tried and then the next and I was like, “Okay. I’m going to do this.” So then I quit. Then the next day I walked into the coach’s office and I was like, “I’m quitting. I’m going to play field hockey.”
It was the scariest conversation I’ve ever had and like, “Oh my God!” because I have no idea what’s going to happen. I have never played this. I don’t know if I’ll be successful. This scares the crap out of me, because if it doesn’t work, then like I have lost my entire identity, and that is not great.
So then I did that and then it was great, and field hockey was probably – That was the best move that I could have done, because then – So that’s when I think I had the first incident that I could remember that I need the full courage, because I think you can’t – If you’re not scared, then it’s not courage, right? It was the most scared that I was like, “Oh! This is terrifying.” Shaking, have to practice what I’m going to say and then jump into it and it worked out fine.
[00:32:08] AMY MOORE: It’s good. It’s like you’re risk taking. There’s a lot of courage in risk taking. Even with starting your business. I mean, it’s like it’s awesome.
[00:32:17] ERIN LINEHAN: Yes. Starting the business was, because we worked for community mental health and then we didn’t like things that were going on then. We were like, “Oh! Going to do part-time.” That’s how I set up the whole thing for the next year and then we didn’t like what’s going on and we’re like, “We got to go.”
[00:32:32] AMY MOORE: Yeah, and you did.
[00:32:32] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah, we did, and then it’s like –
[00:32:33] AMY MOORE: You did the leap of faith.
[00:32:36] ERIN LINEHAN: Because I had my old soccer coach. He was talking about, he was like – I was having a conversation with him. He was like, “Well –” I was like, “I don’t have a safety net. What do I do?” He’s like, “You are your own safety net.” I was like, “Oh! Okay. So I’m going to do this.”
[00:32:48] AMY MOORE: You are your own safety net. That is good.
[00:32:52] ERIN LINEHAN: There you go.
[00:32:53] AMY MOORE: Good one.
[00:32:54] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah. I think it’s terrifying to go into situations where you need courage, but that shit feels so good when you like follow through with it and then you like step into yourself even though you might be shaking. But when you can do that, it’s awesome.
[00:33:10] AMY MOORE: Amazing.
[00:33:11] ANNA NEWELL JONES: There’s that quote that like my voice might quiver, but I am – Can we maybe we cut that?
[00:33:18] AMY MOORE: Don’t know that quote.
[00:33:19] ERIN LINEHAN: But Brene Brown always talks about that you can choose courage or you can choose comfort. I think that that is – I think I will always choose courage. Yup.
[00:33:29] AMY MOORE: I think that’s perfect segue here for if we –
[00:33:35] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Captain segue. That’s you. Yup.
[00:33:41] AMY MOORE: Anyway. Imagine we have the courage, right? I think that goes in line right with living a life with the belief that you are so worth loving. How would you do things differently? If you really took – I remember there was that video of Eryn Eddy where she’s like, “No. Really. You are so worth loving.” She said it in that say that it’s like, “Ooh!”
[00:34:15] ERIN LINEHAN: Immediately. Where I was like, “Oh! Thank you.” It was so good.
[00:34:21] AMY MOORE: What would your life look like?
[00:34:23] ERIN LINEHAN: I think that I would have a lot less like the doubting part of myself or the critical part of myself or I think I’d have a lot more freedom. The free part of myself that could run around in the grass with no shoes on and just kind of dance around. That part would –
[00:34:41] AMY MOORE: Your inner hippie.
[00:34:44] ERIN LINEHAN: Yes, my inner hippie would lead the way I think, because I think my accomplished part, like the successful I want to do things in the world would probably be holding hands with that inner hippie to like do things, because I think you can do both things. You can have fun while doing things that are – Because I think that there’s difference between like I’ve been trying to create a sense of more of it’s been a challenge, but it’s been more of a sense of ease and like the things that I’m doing, because like I want to cultivate the sense of joy in what I’m doing, because the process is the whole thing.
Then how do I do that? I think that there’s a difference between challenge and struggle. I like challenges. I think that we need challenges, because we grow. But I don’t think that I need – I think I am learning to give up the belief that everything needs to be hard. I think that everything would need to be hard. I can have ease and I can have abundance and I can have challenge and I can have joy in all of these. I’m learning how to do all of that.
I would walk through the world and I would probably have more connection with humanity, because I would want to talk to the checker of the store or I’d want to, and really like see them and have time for it. Because when I show up like that in the world, I feel really good about myself. I remember I was trying this for a bit of time. I’m like, “I need to work on this.”
I went to the gym and I did have my headphones in and I was in the bathroom and I had made eye contact with this older woman and it was like 6 in the morning and we had a great conversation in the bathroom. I have no idea about what, but I walked out of there and I was like, “Oh! That was so nice. It felt so good.”
I think that you just feel the energy of other people in a really – You see like the beauty in other people and you can connect that, because you believe in the loving part. So then you’re automatically seeing that beautiful part in someone else. So then those are the things that are connecting instead of like my pissy part. It’s connecting with your pissy part. Then of course we’re pissed at each other because those are the parts that are connecting. I think if I’m always in this belief or so worth loving, then I am a way better person in the world. I show up how I want it to be. Yeah. That’s my answer.
[00:37:02] AMY MOORE: Anna? It’s good. Do you want to follow that one?
[00:37:04] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. What did you say about like the business person and the hippy locking hand-in-hand? I imagine like you [inaudible 00:37:14].
[00:37:18] AMY MOORE: Oh yes! That’s what you should wear for [inaudible 00:37:22].
[00:37:23] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Not that you do that.
[00:37:25] AMY MOORE: I don’t smoke weed.
[00:37:26] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I know. I’m just joking. [inaudible 00:37:31]. Okay. When I think of this idea of living your life with the belief that you’re so worth loving and how would you do things differently. The thing that come to mind is settling and the idea of if I don’t feel like I’m so worth living at the highest caliber of my truest self, then I’m going to accept things that are not the best for me.
Just thinking about things that would maybe be like a red flag. Instead of it being a red flag, instead if I operate from this idea of you’re so worth living. Instead of it being a red flag, it is instead a deal breaker. The caliber the standard for what I accept in my life then gets raised up to a higher level. I think that’s what’s standing out to me about how I would live differently or how I try to live when I do operate from a place of like, “I’m so worth loving.”
Literally, do not have to put up with fucking bullshit. No. No. No. No. No. Not okay. Not acceptable. Not dealing with that. I deserve to be treated a certain way. I want to be treated a certain way. Having a higher standard for what’s acceptable for myself and my life and how I operate and who I surround myself with. That’s what that makes me think about. Then also I can really relate to what you said, Erin, about like how you then operate with others in the world. The idea of if I’m so worth loving, that also means that you are so worth loving.
If I take the approach of like you are inherently worthy and I have to if I’m operating from this place, where you are so inherently worthy by just the nature of being born perfect, then I have to assume that you are doing the best that you can. So that means giving people the benefit of a doubt and also not getting stepped on. That’s not what that means. But like just operating from a loving place of like you’re doing the best you can. I’m doing the best I can. We’re just doing this thing the best we can. Having like a general compassion for others, I guess, as far as like how I relate to them.
What about you, Amy?
[00:39:59] AMY MOORE: I think about if I really felt like I was worth loving, I think about like looking for approval from others, and I think a lot about just being the people pleaser that I am and that I kind of always have been since being a little girl. I think that that’s where – For a lot of my life, that’s kind of like where I found my worth. I did not try to get emotional. I did not think this was going to happen.
[00:40:36] ERIN LINEHAN: Sneaker. Sneaker.
[00:40:42] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You have it your notes. Get emotional here. Note to self. Nobody thinks that you tried to do that.
[00:40:48] ERIN LINEHAN: That came in like a ninja.
[00:40:50] AMY MOORE: It did. Where was that? Yikes!
[00:40:53] ERIN LINEHAN: Deep in your soul.
[00:40:53] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It did come out. Better out than in, like those old farts.
[00:40:58] AMY MOORE: Thank you. Thank you, Shrek. Thank you.
[00:41:03] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Is Shrek single?
[00:41:05] AMY MOORE: Yeah. All right. I’m just going to think about Shrek and then I may be able to — Emotions are good.
[00:41:14] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Shrek dropped those nasty farts.
[00:41:16] ERIN LINEHAN: I think this is like the thing of it, is that depending on where we are in life, then sometimes I feel like I’m in a generally good place. I feel like I’m so worth loving, because I’m in a generally good place. But when there’s crisis or there’re things happening or like generally hard times, sometimes it’s like hard to believe that you are so worth loving.
[00:41:37] AMY MOORE: Going through a divorce and like all that good, horrible stuff. It’s like, “Holy crap! I am so worth loving. Really? Okay. But here’s all these –”
[00:41:47] ANNA NEWELL JONES: With or without this relationship. With or without these identifying things that I’ve attached my work to over so many years.
[00:41:56] AMY MOORE: Yes. I found my value and then had my pride there and really invested. Yeah, maybe I wasn’t so true to myself in different times, and that’s on me. But like I think this message is one that is hard for me right now. I mean, it is like –
[00:42:12] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I think that’s why it resonates with so many people, because it’s so vital to our existence and like our core belief that so many people don’t feel like they’re lovable or worth loving or just inherently worthy. It’s like we’re always seeking something outside of ourselves where it’s like this idea that she’s sharing and that we’re talking about is the inherent worth that nothing is going to add to. It just already is there.
[00:42:42] AMY MOORE: Right. Well, and I think too, like the examination of childhood and like – I mean, all that attachment stuff that I think comes with different experiences, or at least it comes with different attachment issues have – They’re in my own life because of different things from growing up or childhood or whatever.
I think that now with like divorce and like relationship and major relationship coming to an end, it’s just a whole new level of like, “Wow! This is me in the world. I am with me in the world.” The spirit BS or whatever, the universe, and me.
I was listening to another podcast, which is actually called Worthy.com and they put out this podcast. It’s called Divorce and Other Things You Can Handle. Great podcast. But –
[00:43:43] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It’s a good title.
[00:43:44] AMY MOORE: Yeah. Anyway, it’s an interesting company. Interesting idea, and I love it. But – Big yes. And I love it. But they were talking about this little thing like you have – To find your own love for yourself, because ultimately it is just you in the world with yourself. It’s like I think more than anything, for me, if I felt like or when I feel like I am worth loving or I am inherently worth that love, then I am at peace. For me, that’s a real serenity. Inside, if I am able to love myself or feel that feeling of being worth of love, then I’m at peace. I’m comfortable in my own skin. I go out into this world as me as like loving myself as I am. I think that just leads to all kinds of things. Having healthy connections with other people where I’m not looking for some kind of approval or someone else to give me worth, or like I have to be a certain way. No. It’s like I am who I am. I am worth of love and I can find that love in an of – Inside myself and maybe from like a spiritual guidance as well.
[00:45:31] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Hearing you talk, it sounds like an ultimate confidence almost. Just how you would operate or how you operate when you’re in that place. It’s like, “I’m good.”
[00:45:41] AMY MOORE: Yeah. That’s I think for me that’s what I want. That’s what I want to work on. That’s what I’m working towards, because I’ve got work to do. There’s no question. Yeah. It would just be like I am who I am. I can speak my truth and I can be full authentic self no matter who I’m with. Yeah, criticism comes my way or a bully comes my way or whatever, and it’s you’ll be you, and fuck you. I don’t need you. I mean, I think it’s just like I am okay being me.
[00:46:23] ERIN LINEHAN: We like when you’re you.
[00:46:25] AMY MOORE: Thank you.
[00:46:27] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Big fans. Big, big fan.
[00:46:31] AMY MOORE: Thank you. I like when you guys are you, too.
[00:46:37] ERIN LINEHAN: But I think that if either in childhood or it got lost along the way and we forget that we are so worth loving, sometimes, yes, we need to find that within ourselves, but we also need the connection in other people in our lives maybe to like that, share their light with us or to lift that up or to help us remember that we are.
I think that that’s a key, like if someone doesn’t know how to do it or they have forgotten how do it, we need other people to facilitate that for us.
[00:47:09] AMY MOORE: Yes. Oh my gosh! I think that’s such a great point, and I think personally, for me, going through kind of the beginning stages of my divorce, I could not have done that without you and other solid, true friendships, like authentic. Whether I had known them since junior high or when I was – My siblings or whoever that was, or like my amazing friends in Denver.
It’s like I did need to be reminded daily, or I needed to like have someone kind of hold my hand to walk through a lot of really trying times. Then to be able to be like, “Oh!” I don’t know. I think like that connection was then it just continued to build. It’s only building. But I think that is such a good point.
[00:48:11] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I think the distinction that’s really important here is that you said other people igniting that or helping you with that not being the sole source of your worth.
[00:48:21] ERIN LINEHAN: Well, not like taking your flame away that you have it and then the other person is just drained, because that’s not what that is, right? It’s like you’re like sharing your light so that you can be like, “Come on. You have this too.” Just so that we remember, because I think sometimes we all forget.
[00:48:39] AMY MOORE: Yes.
[00:48:39] ERIN LINEHAN: Or we never learn. I think that’s why when people are like, “What are you talking about self-love? What does that mean? I have no idea.” It’s like, “Well, because if you never learned that from your parents or your never learned that or you forgot it because of life’s circumstances and you had trauma or tragedy or something. Yeah, we got to help each other,” and connection is so important for that.
[00:49:02] AMY MOORE: I think that it would be great to do a tangible here are different ways to better or increase your self-love.
[00:49:14] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You have those?
[00:49:15] ERIN LINEHAN: We could talk about them. I think it’d be great. We can put something on like a PDF on the website.
[00:49:20] AMY MOORE: Yeah. That’s what I mean. Yeah. No. I don’t have them right now.
[00:49:23] ANNA NEWELL JONES: You got those, Amy?
[00:49:23] AMY MOORE: Just thinking out loud here, because I don’t have them. I certainly don’t –
[00:49:31] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I don’t know about y’all.
[00:49:33] AMY MOORE: Yeah.
[00:49:33] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I think it would be good for me, for everyone else.
[00:49:38] AMY MOORE: I think when we get in those moments, we need – It’s really great to have something that’s written down, because then we can refer back to. Because if we’re in a place where we don’t feel like so worth loving, then like to remember like, “Oh, yeah! These are the things I’m supposed to do.” Not happening. So it’s nice to be like, “Oh! I should – This is helpful. This has helped me.” Like a step-by-step, I think that’s helpful. So PDF it.
[00:50:01] AMY MOORE: Coming.
[00:50:02] ERIN LINEHAN: Right, Anna?
[00:50:02] AMY MOORE: Coming your way. Captain PDF.
[00:50:09] ANNA NEWELL JONES: PDF of self-love tips? Sure.
[00:50:12] ERIN LINEHAN: Self-soothing. I mean, it’s like the same type of thing. We talked about it the other day.
[00:50:16] ANNA NEWELL JONES: That’s right. We already did this.
[00:50:18] AMY MOORE: I got to say one tip that I learned is that sometimes I get really overwhelmed with anxiety and in these times it’s like I just start – my thoughts are kind of spinning. Erin was telling me that one thing that is really, really good is just to like move your body, because I’m so – I feel it all. I literally, many times, just start doing jumping jacks.
[00:50:46] ERIN LINEHAN: It’s great.
[00:50:48] AMY MOORE: It has been very, very helpful. Very helpful. I’ve encouraged my kids to do it too since learning that little tip. I never knew. Jumping jacks. Doing jumping jacks and crying my eyes out. I mean, really. It’s been a super helpful thing. Thank you.
[00:51:09] ERIN LINEHAN: Yup. Actually, this is the funny part of that. So I had been working at the school when I first was like – I knew the movement thing, whatever, but I was trying to think of like other strategies to help kids with panic attacks or anxiety or whatever. Oddly enough, I was watching Orange is the New Black, but the guard at the thing, one of the women, was about to have a panic attack and then it got super serious and he was like, “Do jumping jacks now!”
So they did jumping jacks and she stopped having a panic attack and I was like, “Holy shit! That’s genius!” Some form of that. Because then your body gets overly charged and you we need to discharge that energy. So like how do you do that? That’s actually where that came, oddly enough, put the pieces together for me.
[00:51:58] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Were you telling us about this on a podcast episode or maybe at coffee about someone who got in an accident and then what?
[00:52:05] ERIN LINEHAN: The woman that I learned EMDR from, she’s fantastic. So she was telling us a story in the training and she was talking about how she uses – She got in the accident and then was on the side of the road and she started shaking her body all over the place and the woman next to her was like, “Uh, what is going on?” She’s like, “I don’t want to get trauma in my body.” She was like getting it all out, which is super anxious.
[00:52:29] AMY MOORE: Intentionally just shaking.
[00:52:31] ERIN LINEHAN: Yes. Peter Levine, he’s created somatic experiencing. I think he was either telling a story or something. I could have this wrong, but something like this, and that he was in some sort of accident of some sort where he wouldn’t really move anything but his hand. He was just like slowly moving his hand or telling a story about someone.
[00:52:50] AMY MOORE: Erin right now is doing an open closed fist. Open –
[00:52:55] ERIN LINEHAN: But doing this, and if I remember, but like doing this so that the trauma would release out of the body and wouldn’t get stuck. Essentially, when our nervous systems gets overwhelmed, that energy gets caught in your nervous system and then can’t get out and then that causes trauma. Just doing this. Yeah. Fascinating. Anyways, yes.
[00:53:17] AMY MOORE: Very. It is very fascinating.
[00:53:18] ERIN LINEHAN: Charging the nervous system. Yup, fascinating.
[00:53:21] AMY MOORE: Wouldn’t it be amazing if someday people started using techniques like that? It’d be so healthy. Imagine if you’re just driving along. You’re like walking in a town square, something, and you just see random people doing jumping jacks all over the town.
[00:53:39] ANNA NEWELL JONES: They’re like, “I’m just having a little anxiety.”
[00:53:42] AMY MOORE: I’m just releasing the trauma from my body.
[00:53:45] ERIN LINEHAN: That’s amazing. Yes. Totally.
[00:53:47] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Cool! That would be cool.
[00:53:49] AMY MOORE: All right. So everybody out there, here’s your challenge for the end of the episode, because we are coming to the end.
[00:53:55] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I have an idea for one too. I want to hear yours and then we can – Maybe listener choice, a quote.
[00:54:03] AMY MOORE: Listener choice.
[00:54:05] ANNA NEWELL JONES: They could do both. Maybe it’s the same thing. But I had an idea. You go first.
[00:54:09] AMY MOORE: My idea is to try jumping jacks.
[00:54:16] ERIN LINEHAN: No. Yeah. So try jumping jacks when –
[00:54:18] AMY MOORE: When you are stuck in an emotion, whether it’s like an overwhelming sense of sadness or it is anxiety. Erin, I think you need to kind of take over on what I’m saying.
[00:54:33] ERIN LINEHAN: I was going to add an addendum.
[00:54:35] AMY MOORE: Yes, please.
[00:54:35] ERIN LINEHAN: An addendum to this challenge. If jumping jacks feel like too much, maybe just move your feet. You’re sitting in a chair and you’re just tapping your feet on the ground –
[00:54:47] AMY MOORE: At the same time or every other?
[00:54:49] ERIN LINEHAN: Every other, or tap your hands every other or give yourself a butterfly hug. So you put one, your left hand on your right arm and your right hand on your left arm and just tap every other just to like kind of move things through and breathe all the way into your system. Jumping jacks work for some people, right? But then that might feel like –
[00:55:08] AMY MOORE: If you’re super intense.
[00:55:11] ERIN LINEHAN: For all of us in this room right now. Sometimes that’s too much and you can’t manage. But so just to start moving energy. Yeah. There you go. Yeah.
[00:55:20] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Okay. That’s a really great tip.
[00:55:22] ERIN LINEHAN: Or if you feel trapped in a meeting, tap your feet, because that gives the sensation that you’re not trapped, because your body is not moving.
[00:55:30] AMY MOORE: What about bored or like –
[00:55:32] ANNA NEWELL JONES: This is the meaning they should not have existed.
[00:55:34] AMY MOORE: That sounds so negative if you feel trapped in a meeting. If you’re bored in a meeting, but that’s not –
[00:55:40] ERIN LINEHAN: No. Sure. Bored –
[00:55:41] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Is the idea to connect the body and the mind or is it a release situation?
[00:55:48] AMY MOORE: It’s a total shift. I mean, that’s what I’ve experienced with my own jumping jacks is like I might be feeling something, then start doing the jumping jack and it just like — It’s not – I think this deserves a clarification of it’s not a way to make you not feel those feelings. It’s a way to walk through those feelings, right?
[00:56:08] AMY MOORE: Yes. Good. Clarifying.
[00:56:10] ERIN LINEHAN: Not suggesting stuffing. Not suggesting stuffing.
[00:56:14] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Life hack.
[00:56:15] AMY MOORE: Life hack.
[00:56:17] ERIN LINEHAN: I’m going to tell you about my feelings about fucking life hacks. They’re not positive. I hate that word.
[00:56:26] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Have you seen –
[00:56:28] AMY MOORE: That’s so funny, because Anna uses it all the time.
[00:56:30] ERIN LINEHAN: She loves them.
[00:56:31] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I love them. I have really good ones. Erin might disagree with this. I’m going to mediate.
[00:56:36] ERIN LINEHAN: I’ve never seen it. Tell me.
[00:56:38] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I’m going to have to send this to you. On my Instagram highlights, I have a life hacks section. One for a case of –
[00:56:46] AMY MOORE: Erin is about to roll her eyes right now.
[00:56:47] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Seltzer water that you have to check out. It’s not done very well. The production value is very poor, but it’s a wonderful life hack.
[00:56:57] AMY MOORE: Sorry. Wait. What did you just say about Seltzer water?
[00:57:00] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah, it’s a life hack with Seltzer water and making it – You’ll have to just watch it. Anyway, let’s get back to your –
[00:57:09] ERIN LINEHAN: If there’s a life hack about Seltzer water or ironing or washing your clothes, great. That is great. If there’s a life hack about anxiety, and I feel anxiety all the time, or I’m depressed. There’s not life hacks on that, or if you don’t want to feel your emotions. There’s not a life hack to help you to not deal with or to bypass feeling whatever you need to feel.
[00:57:34] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I think that’s what people are looking for when they do the self-medicating and alcohol or drugs and over-shopping.
[00:57:39] ERIN LINEHAN: How well does self-medicating work?
[00:57:42] ANNA NEWELL JONES: It works temporarily, but that shit always comes back.
[00:57:46] ERIN LINEHAN: Amen! Amen! Amen! Amen! Amen.
[00:57:55] ANNA NEWELL JONES: They’re going to walk through that.
[00:57:57] AMY MOORE: The life hacks on emotional where it does not work, right?
[00:58:00] ERIN LINEHAN: Deep personal work.
[00:58:03] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Or they work temporarily.
[00:58:04] AMY MOORE: Use life hacks for laundry.
[00:58:06] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Okay. I have to say, I think that people do these “life hacks” for these emotional fixes, because they work. But the problem is that they work temporarily, and that’s why people go to them as a coping mechanism.
[00:58:19] ERIN LINEHAN: Okay. Let me modify them, okay? If someone needs help coping in the moment with their anxiety or they need to get through the day or they need to do things and they need coping skills. Maybe we’re talking about the same thing. Coping skills so that they can manage their life. I’m all for that.
However, I associate – So we’re healthy coping skills. Right? I’m not talking about alcohol, drugs, shopping, any of that compulsively. I’m not talking about that. To me, life hack and taking the easy way with bigger things, that’s what I see. So there is not an easy way to deal with some sort of big emotional thing.
You have to do the work and I think that people, because they’re doing the best they can, want a life hack to get them through some hard shit so they don’t have to feel it. Then there isn’t one.
[00:59:13] AMY MOORE: And you’re calling bullshit on that.
[00:59:14] ERIN LINEHAN: Yeah, I’m calling bullshit. So that’s the same thing.
[00:59:17] ANNA NEWELL JONES: So we’re saying the same thing. I’m just saying –
[00:59:20] ERIN LINEHAN: I’m glad we got that —
[00:59:23] ANNA NEWELL JONES: We got to do some jumping jacks.
[00:59:25] ERIN LINEHAN: Seriously. Shaking my hands here. I’m shaking my hands. I got to discharge this. Okay. Whoa!
[00:59:31] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I’m glad we talked that through.
[00:59:33] AMY MOORE: All right, you two. Anna, what is your other awareness challenge?
[00:59:38] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Okay. In addition to the awesome, like doing jumping jacks, getting in your body, the feet tapping. I was thinking it’d be really great if we encourage our listeners, you, to ask yourself like if you were to operate from the place of living your life from a place of I am so worth loving. What is no longer acceptable, or how would you operate in the world differently?
[01:00:03] ERIN LINEHAN: Great question.
[01:00:05] AMY MOORE: That’s a question I have.
[01:00:07] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Both are wonderful.
[01:00:09] ERIN LINEHAN: They are both wonderful. Yeah.
[01:00:12] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Yeah. High-fives.
[01:00:12] AMY MOORE: High-five. Whoa! Good work. All right.
[01:00:16] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I was like, “Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I got one.”
[01:00:19] ERIN LINEHAN: Good thing, you got it in. It was a good one. That took a while, a big detour and we go back to that. Okay.
[01:00:27] AMY MOORE: So we are at the top of the hour and we just want to say thank you all for being in the Less Alone community and really truly like – I feel love.
[01:00:38] ERIN LINEHAN: I do feel love.
[01:00:39] ANNA NEWELL JONES: I feel love for all of you.
[01:00:40] AMY MOORE: But it’s been a great episode, and we’ll be back soon.
[01:00:43] ERIN LINEHAN: It was a big one, huh?
[01:00:45] AMY MOORE: It was. That’s what she said. All right. With that, we’ll see you next time. Bye-bye.
[01:00:51] ANNA NEWELL JONES: Bye!
[01:00:54] ERIN LINEHAN: Bye.
Amy Moore: Remember, go to MyShapa.com and use the code LESSALONE for a FREE Shapa Scale (!!!) PLUS get FREE shipping when you sign up for a 12-month subscription to their app!
[01:00:56] ANNA NEWELL JONES: We talk about connection. That’s what our deal is here. We have a 6-step roadmap for instant connection. You can get that at connectionroadmap.com. It will give you the hookup on what to do to get instantly connected with people in this world.
[01:01:17] AMY MOORE: Thanks for listening. You can find more about this episode and a way to connect to the community at lessalonepodcast.com, and if you like us, don’t forget to subscribe and be sure to leave a review. It helps other people find us and could be just what they need.